Author Topic: Setting an Eerie scene  (Read 661 times)

Dirk McDirk Pants

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Setting an Eerie scene
« on: February 28, 2003, 07:34:12 am »
I was wondering if this peice sets a proper mood for a dark and ominous environment:


The moon was full and bright within the grasp of the night, illuminating the forest in a soft pale ghastly white. The shadows of the tree\'s snaked out, searching for something to grasp within its cool embrace. A short breeze from the east ruffled the leaves, and the forest moaned a terrible warning to those that lay within its bowels. The wind brought whispers of times past, whispers of sorrow, whispers of death. The wind carried these icy messages through the forest, where they pounded there words upon the Hill of Aslon. And there atop that hill laid a crude, gothic, and misshapen manor. A place that\'s life had been extinguished in era\'s long forgotten. The wind crept in through the holes and breaks of the glass windows, to gently persuade the ragged, decaying drapes to do a dance. A dance of phantoms, wraiths, apparitions. The breeze crept up the spiral stairs, which once where proud; draped in red carpet, and now lay rotting and in ruin. The breeze crept its way into the attic, where a solitary candle lit the dust and webs and curiously; a coffin. A coffin of carved black oak, and rusted golden inlays. And the breeze fought with the flame of the candle, and the flame flickered and was gone. The room went dark except for a small circular window which poured in a moon-light which fell directly upon the coffin. Silence. And then there could be heard the beating, softly from inside the coffin, an eerie ominous beating. Just then a treacherous cloud covered the silent moon and the room was enshrouded in black. The sound of a old rusted door opening. The beating growing louder and lounder. And then, nothing. No sounds. No visions. Just sweet oblivion. And the moon was released from the deathly curtain of the cloud, and the room was once again illuminated. The coffin laid open on the floor, with nothing inside but crimson velvet cushions and the fear of the unknown...
 
I made this in about 20 minutes, so there are bound to be some typo\'s....

Ravenmaster

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four out of five somethingerothers
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2003, 03:56:39 am »
Hehe, pretty good Dirk.  Decent use of various literary techniques. Personification in particular. I wasn\'t on the edge of my seat, but it\'s good.   :]
You are here,
You will always be here,
You will never be there.
Although you may strive to get there,
upon reaching there you will realize you are really here.
And there is everywhere else.
-Spoonjoppa