The Promotional Thread is alot better now!
Well at least its better
- "Revival of Ragon" - Can't say that's an original objective: check the Survivors of Vaern and the Community of Vaalnor.
I know its not necessarily "original" but it is something they would want. After their city was destroyed because they could not guard it properly its just something that makes sense. There are other ways to look at it but remember this goal would only be put in effect if they ever thought they would have the "strength" to protect the city. If not the would never rebuild it.
- I wouldn't use the "shadows" as my enemies. Maybe it would be more interesting if this Ragon was formed within the Labyrinths, as a haven to those who would wander in those places. That way we would understand why it required such guardians, and how it was destryoed by the throngs of monsters there;
The reason why the enemy was called "the shadows" was because it was unclear who attacked. It was a pitch black and hard to see. The day the city fell no one could see. All most of the people saw were creatures attacking them in the darkness and "shadow." Furthermore only 3 survived mainly because they were captured by the leader of the attackers and drugged. The reason for their capture still remains unclear to them because the leader is long dead and they never saw the force he attacked with.
- As far as the promotional thread itself is concerned, I'd distinguish the ranks, and maybe make the most important titles size=3. Just so it looks prettier to the eyes.
Ok Ill make sure to make some things more clear. Just change font sizes and like underline ranking names or something along those lines right?
Former History
Long ago there was a city called Ragon hidden in the mountains. It was the home of 8 guardians known as the Unholy Guardians. Each one a master of the Unholy Light. They protected the city till they became engaged in a war agaisnt "shadows." During this war the city was destroyed and all but 3 guardians perished. Now these guardians will attempt to rise again to recreate what has been lost for so long.
How long ago are we talking? Characters have lifespans, they don't live on for ever.
Not extremely long ago. The city was built long before the guardians actually rose to power. At first the one master of the Unholy Light ruled the city. He tried to teach the people and 8 of them mastered it before his death. They were all young (around 17) when they did master it and defended the city for about 8 years (they werent sure and mainly for yearly time relyed on those who passed through the city) before it was destroyed.
- The name "Unholy" doesn't seem to fit;
One of the main reasons I rather not change the name is because "unholy light" has been rped ingame before. I know that it wouldnt be hard to just rename it, or even rp a reason, but at the same time I like the fact that it doesnt seem to fit with you. It makes it seem like these people thought their own way. Just my opinion though.
- Unholy Arts: I think we need something more here. Something like "through the most stern of disciplines, the members of the Unholy Guardians learn how to focus their power for their life's sake. And with this concentrated power, and through special rites teached onto them, they are able to unleash an energy, a power to form the work we call 'Unholy Arts.'" If you had something of this nature you'll add more taste to those "styles" since we'll know there's actually something behind it, not just secretness and magic.
I must say I do like how you worded that. Ill make sure to edit the guild and add something along those lines(or maybe that with your permission :innocent:)
Good job Duraza, proud of ya.
Coneitic would have snaked his way in there somewhere.
=)
Thanks mate :)
