Author Topic: Google is God, spread the good word.  (Read 4030 times)

WiseKran

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Google is God, spread the good word.
« on: February 16, 2007, 02:16:10 pm »
The Church of Google

link: www.thechurchofgoogle.org

Proof:
Quote
PROOF #1

Google is all-knowing (Omniscient). She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google all-knowing, but She also sorts through this vast amount of data using Her patented PageRank method, making said data accessible for us mere mortals.

PROOF #2

Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google's search engine is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, you will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.

PROOF #3

Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.

PROOF #4

Google is immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.

PROOF #5

Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.

PROOF #6

Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die.

PROOF #7

Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.

PROOF #8

Evidence of Google's existence is abundant. There is more evidence for the existence of Google than any other God worshiped today. Extraordinary evidence requires extraordinary proof. If seeing is believing, then surf over to www.google.com and experience for yourself Google's awesome power.

--http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/Scripture/Proof_Google_Is_God.html



Join the church of google today, and observe the 10 commandments! be saved.


What do you all think?



Farewell Moogie, Farewell Draklar, Farewell Drey. you will be missed.

dying_inside

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Re: Google is God, spread the good word.
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2007, 02:30:39 pm »
I think that rocks.

bilbous

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Re: Google is God, spread the good word.
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2007, 05:18:41 pm »
I think that idle minds make for odd pastimes.

I also think animated sigs are annoying but that is just me, don't change on my account. I think a lot more but it would take too long to post what all I think.
To rephrase:
It seems pretty silly.
Were there many ads on the page? Thank you for sparing us them.


lordraleigh

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Re: Google is God, spread the good word.
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2007, 05:35:04 pm »
As a promoter of scientifical rationality against the mysticism and fanaticism that leads people to invent more and more senseless sects and cults like the Heaven's Gate that lead people to commit acts of insanity and to end their own lifes, and as a tireless advocate of agnosticism over leaps of faith, I therefore present my set of evidences against this new and flawed cult:

1 ) Google cares little about your faith, but cares much about profits.

2 ) Google is immortal as long as a huge economical crisis doesn't happen leading Google Corporation to bankruptcy, otherwise it will die along the corporation

3) If Google is a god, the Peoples Republic of China they support is a democracy or they would be sent to hell for killing countless of political prisoners, protesters, workers on strike, etc.

4 ) Google is finite, once the server is filled it will need to expand on another server, but eventually it will occupy so many rooms that will reach its limit.

5 ) Google stores large amounts of information, not all, but a wide system failure may eliminate it promptly.

6 ) Google can't do any evil, ask the insurgents caught by PRC's political police with the aid of Google about it.

7 ) Google exists, but does not improve or act by itself, instead requires human action that is processed leading it to its deeds, therefore Google isn't a manifestation of intelligence.

8 ) Google won't answer your existencial doubts about afterlife, universe, etc. Only will bring you even more doubts as it will lead you to hundreds of sites defending hundreds of different philosophical, metaphysical and religious points of view. Thus Google isn't the path to truth.
« Last Edit: February 16, 2007, 05:37:00 pm by lordraleigh »


Idoru

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Re: Google is God, spread the good word.
« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2007, 05:43:29 pm »
As a promoter of scientifical rationality against the mysticism and fanaticism that leads people to invent more and more senseless sects and cults like the Heaven's Gate that lead people to commit acts of insanity and to end their own lifes, and as a tireless advocate of agnosticism over leaps of faith, I therefore present my set of evidences against this new and flawed cult:

1 ) Google cares little about your faith, but cares much about profits.

2 ) Google is immortal as long as a huge economical crisis doesn't happen leading Google Corporation to bankruptcy, otherwise it will die along the corporation

3) If Google is a god, the Peoples Republic of China they support is a democracy or they would be sent to hell for killing countless of political prisoners, protesters, workers on strike, etc.

4 ) Google is finite, once the server is filled it will need to expand on another server, but eventually it will occupy so many rooms that will reach its limit.

5 ) Google stores large amounts of information, not all, but a wide system failure may eliminate it promptly.

6 ) Google can't do any evil, ask the insurgents caught by PRC's political police with the aid of Google about it.

7 ) Google exists, but does not improve or act by itself, instead requires human action that is processed leading it to its deeds, therefore Google isn't a manifestation of intelligence.

8 ) Google won't answer your existencial doubts about afterlife, universe, etc. Only will bring you even more doubts as it will lead you to hundreds of sites defending hundreds of different philosophical, metaphysical and religious points of view. Thus Google isn't the path to truth.

Several of those certainly make it sound even more like a religion ;)

"May there only be peaceful and cheerful Earth Days to come for our beautiful Spaceship Earth as it continues to spin and circle in frigid space with its warm and fragile cargo of animate life."

lordraleigh

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Re: Google is God, spread the good word.
« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2007, 05:46:44 pm »
Google? Immortal?

One word: Electromagnetic-Pulse

Amen skeptic brother!  :thumbup:

bilbous

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Re: Google is God, spread the good word.
« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2007, 05:49:02 pm »
You might have to blanket the earth with your pulse to ensure you got every last data node or it would survive.

lordraleigh

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Re: Google is God, spread the good word.
« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2007, 05:58:35 pm »
There's one thing that can destroy Google for sure.

An Economic Crash like the one of 1929 multiplied tenfold. Or of course, the "Great Satan", Micro$oft  :P

Annah

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Re: Google is God, spread the good word.
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2007, 06:37:08 pm »
What do I think? You need a girl.

:P
- Black Order -

emeraldfool

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Re: Google is God, spread the good word.
« Reply #11 on: February 16, 2007, 07:39:07 pm »


(He means a real girl, not Google 'herself' :P)


You might have to blanket the earth with your pulse to ensure you got every last data node or it would survive.

How do you mean? Surely completely wiping Google's mainframe destroy the corporation, or at least make the engine so slow (due to every page having to be individually loaded from each individual site) that nobody would use it.

Kiirani

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Re: Google is God, spread the good word.
« Reply #12 on: February 17, 2007, 12:54:46 am »
All Hail Google, I love this :)

neko kyouran

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Re: Google is God, spread the good word.
« Reply #13 on: February 17, 2007, 02:49:27 am »
I think everyone should eat more muffins.

All hail the muffin man!

He lives on Drury Lane.

lordraleigh

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Re: Google is God, spread the good word.
« Reply #14 on: February 17, 2007, 03:30:48 am »
The Google Watch denies this fanatic religion as nonsense.