H'okyba da Ojaveda

[Blayze!]

Background story


Blayze falls to his knees , wipes the blood from his face and looks around, exhausted from the relentless  battle that unfolded before his eyes, but now it’s finished, as the dust settles  he focuses on the bodies of his fallen clan mates, proud warriors of the H’okbya that fought for their very survival, he  closes his eyes and thinks back to the day his father sent him away in to the open wilderness to join this clan, he can hear his fathers voice as if it was yesterday and not ten years ago  “ seek out Joh’rr the leader, he will school you in the old ways, I can teach you no more, you have learned all I know about human weapons, the H’okyba are a clan of enkidukai that live in the wilderness miles from the nearest large settlement or city, they take their name from the weapons that feed  and protect them, H’okyba is enkien for “ claws”, relying on their natural ability to hunt, their feline senses  homed to perfection as their very existence depends on it, tribal and traditional in their beliefs they are considered by some to be savages, nothing could be further from the truth, yes they  are savage in combat but their structure is well organised  everyone in the pack knows their place, relying on one dominant male for leadership“. Blayze opens his eyes again and a look of panic spreads across his face “ leader….where is Joh’rr?”, he searches the burning ruins of the village for his mentor and someone who has become like a father to him, lifting the bodies of both enki and enemy looking for the leader of a tribe he now calls his family. He stops and fixes his gaze on a fenki huddled over the lifeless body of  her young cub the sound of her weeping  drowned out by the moans of the wounded and dying, as she rocked backwards and forwards in grief she looked at him and snarled “ where were you Blayze? Where were the mighty warriors of the H’okyba when we needed you…….WHERE?!!”  she shook her head and lowered her voice “ I…I’m sorry it’s not your fault, they came from nowhere and we were not prepared and greatly out numbered, the warriors did well”  she pulled her dead cub close to her breast  and wept as she stroked his head. Blayze caught sight of movement from the corner of his eye, a figure dressed in black scurried away, his heart and head filled with rage, he sprung towards him and with a roar that  that sounded like it came from hell itself he pinned him to the ground by his throat, he studied his enemy as he lay there, his face half covered with only his eyes showing, eyes filled with fear. “Mercy….please show mercy” the rogue pleaded, Blayze’s eyes narrowed and he bared his fangs “ the H’okyba show no mercy “ he snarled and with that he tightened his grip on his throat and pulled……… his claws did the rest. Blayze heard a familiar voice behind him, he turned  to see a tall well built menki, it was Tae, the eldest son of Joh’rr the leader and he carried in his arms the body of his father, Blayze lowered his head in respect “ he died well Tae, fighting for his tribe  and our way of life”, Tae looked around at the carnage ” it will take time to rebuild this, there’s only a handful of us left” , Blayze looked at Tae “ if the H’okyba are to survive we must move on, we cannot stay here", Tae glared  and answered “ who are you to tell me what to do?, Joh’rr is dead and by right of birth I am now Chieftain, I say we stay” , Blayze returns his glare “ and as an elder it is my duty to advise the chieftain Tae, and I advise we go to Ojaveda, it’s a few days walk from here but we may find enkidukai to join us, it’s the only way to increase our ranks, it’s finished here and we must move on if we want the old ways to survive”. Tae places his fathers body gently on the ground and stands to face Blayze “ there’s only one way we will go to Ojaveda brother and we both know  what that is” , Blayze nods and looks at Tae knowing they are both weary from battle and starts to unbuckle his armour “yes brother I know, and I take it……I claim the right of challenge”.
The remaining warriors of the H’okyba formed a circle around the two menki’s as they prepared  for the upcoming struggle, a fight of claw and fang no human weapons or armour, one of the traditions still held by the H’okyba, like any animal pack the strongest leads  to ensure the survival of the pack. Tae shouts angrily “ you know the rules, no rest until one of us either yields or….dies” , Blayze nods nervously, this is not only a struggle for his survival but also the survival of the tribe, all of a sudden Blaze is thrown to the ground  as he feels a sharp pain across his chest and one across his face, Tae had struck first as soon as the challenge was accepted, he felt blood running down his fur as Tae’s claws had found their target, Tae grinned and backed away “ ready to yield yet or do I have to kill you?” Blayze rose to his feet “ enjoy your moment of glory Tae…it’s the last you will get”, the surrounding enki bayed and cheered as the two locked again, blood and fur flew in a fight that was both ferocious and savage, using the natural skills the enki had been blessed with they bit and clawed at each other and as the light from the great crystal faded Tae lay as Blayze’s feet, he raised him from the ground by the scruff of his neck and was about to deal the final blow when Tae bellowed “ YIELD….I YIELD” , he dropped him and bowed  to a worthy opponent “ go and rest  tomorrow we leave for Ojaveda".
A few days later the remnants of the H’okyba  walked through the gates of Ojaveda, a bustling town full of enkidukai, some wearing the badges of different tribes and guilds, Blayze glanced behind him in time to see one of his young warriors stop in his tracks as a strange blue creature with wings ran past , Blayze laughed and put a hand on his warriors shoulder “ I forgot many of you haven’t been this far from the village before, that my friend is a Klyros, there will be much for you to learn here, but this is our new home, here we will build our ranks again, train new warriors and constantly fight the rogues and bandits that wiped out our homes and killed our families while all the time protecting our new one, using our skills we will make a living whatever way we can, from now on we are will not be known as the H’okyba we will be known as the H’okyba da Ojaveda  ( claws of Ojaveda).

( I could have dragged the background story out but you are probably bored already)



 Guild ranks and duties

Pharol ( Initiate)

Pador ( Runner)

Crra ( Brave )

Finkyli Crra ( brave warrior )

Finkyli da rrr'he ( blood warrior )

Mansarol ( teacher )

Ylol Koroji ( Clan Chief )

Manthanol ( Elder )

Yla ( Chieftain )

.
 

Goals

We are not bent on world domination as others are, our goals are simple,
To protect Ojaveda our new home and it’s residents,
To guide newly arrived enki and teach them the ways of this land and how to survive taking them in to the clan if that’s what they wish.
Our main goal is the preservation of the clan, we are used to taking what we need, we fight hard to take what we want and fight harder to keep it, prepared to even take a mercenary role, neither good or evil aligned we will side with either whoever pays the price,


[OOC stuff]

Thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope it sheds some light on what the H’okyba da Ojaveda is about, we haven’t formed a guild just for the sake of it, we have a structure and a purpose, we have kept everything in the Planeshift settings, we even use the enkien language as laid down on the PS wiki site in order to add some realism and roleplay ( many thanks to Larisma for the help with the guild rank translations). Before you all jump down my throat banding around words like “ racist “ and “ sexist” please check out the psychology of the enki as laid sown on the main site http://www.planeshift.it/enki.html  sorry ladies nothing personal it’s just in keeping with the background that fenki cannot rise above elder, another reason is the fact that enkidukai are the only race to spawn in Ojaveda, everyone else spawns in Hydlaa so everyday people enter the game in a place that other characters only visit to either train or quest so guidance may be hard for them to find ( Blayze recalls the many cries from around Harnquist “ I’m new can anyone help me?” to which three klyros , two dwarves one Ylian and a fenki all reply “ yes” ), we are based in Oja, we always try to be somewhere around if anyone needs help, even if it’s just going through the basics, The way we have laid out the ranks is to cater for progression the member can join from birth and find all they need to make them a strong established player, how many potential good players have joined the game chosen enki as the race wandered around Oja for a couple of hours and left because the place is empty and they don’t know what to do? We have some very experienced players running the guild so we can offer help from training to teaching roleplay, ok I may not be the best role-player but I can steer people in the right direction. If people stick with the guild long enough they may even rise to be leader, even though I created the guild I may not always be the right one to lead it, you can check out the website http://hdo.xordan.com/index.htm
A lot is still under construction but we have a very active forums with the information that will eventually go on to the website directly. Also if any established enki character feels that they want to help us feel free to ask, you will be placed at the rank that your experience allows.
Anything constructive you reply to this will be appreciated, I can take criticism as long as it’s constructive

[Natrina]

You should make it more compact.

[Sangwa]

The thread has too much information. The history is too big, where it should be just a flavor text to attract people. You should harbor the extensive version somewhere else and link people towards it.
Plus, rank description is needlessly extensive as well. You shouldn't use the ranks to display all your guild's structure. Having a different paragraph saying how one evolves within the guild and how duties are distributed is a lot smarter. It won't make people simply wanna skip it to the goals, like I almost did:

Goals

We are not bent on world domination as others are our goals are simple,
To protect Ojaveda our new home and it’s residents,
To guide newly arrived enki and teach them the ways of this land and how to survive taking them in to the clan if that’s what they wish.

These are unoriginal, very vague and not fun.

Plus, it seems like a warrior enki tribe. So I don't really think the above goals fit it that much. Warrior tribes are usually violent and take pleasure in fighting.

The presentation of this promotional thread is also very poor. Try highlighting important parts with italic, bold, underlined and different sizes.

Conclusion: Your guild seems like a nice, enkidukai tribe. Good work. However this promotional thread needs work, because I don't think it stands up faithfully to what you're trying to exhibit. If you tune it up a little, people will be a lot more interested in reading this.

[Blayze!]

Points taken, I have changed the guild listing and I willt edit the background story and be more precise on the goals later today

[Sangwa]

Thanks for your dedication.

Also, I'd change the OOC information. You don't need to thank us for reading, or make us realize that your guild is well established. I could see that through the post, so I guess other players will see it too. Point only what we need to know there.
If anyone bothers you unecessarily about racist and sexist issues, simply point them to what they should've read already. ^^

I like how you seem to have structured your guild. It seems very faithful to the traits of the enkidukai race. Good luck!

[Blayze!]

thanks for the advice and taking the time to post Sangwa, I'll look at it again and modify it when I have a bit more time, the reason I put the racist and sexist bit there was to nip it in the bud before it starts thats why I put the link there for the enkidukai psychology, you know how it goes " another single race guild yada, yada, yada " and "why can't a female lead your guild yada , yada, yada ", I have seen it too many times on the forums, a thread turns in to a social debate for no reason at all. humm....hang on isn't that what I'm doing now, I'll modify this post later too

[Sangwa]

Hehe. You should allow for arguments you can win though. It's both entertaining and instructive!

[Garile]

Lets see you are saying it's impossible for a fenki to reach the highest status only becuase of their sex and it isn't sexist becuase it's mentioned in general information that a tribe is nomally led by the strongest male?

Two misunderstandings here.
One: a general description of an entire race is ment to be read as what happens normally. Like if it would say dwarves have a great pride for their race it doesn't mean it is impossible that there are dwarves that don't feel proud of their race, it means they are a minority one can ignore when writing a general description. Saying that something is impossible perse on general information in my eyes is a bad choice and I think a misunderstanding of how general information should be used.
Two: Even when something sexist is made setting doesn't mean it is not sexist.

[Allive]

ok think about it even outside the ps setting every pack animal is lead by the strongest male and technicaly if we fully bassed it on that outside of ps setting fenkis would not even gain elder status{our council} ok enkis aint wild animals but they are pack animals it is not ppl that made these rules it is decided by nature with every pack animal i can think of haveing a similar structure and hey if it works for nature. and anyway ppl always complain no structure, not within settings and no back storie i bilieve we have meat all requirements and hopefully still made a strong and fun guild to be part of.

[Parallo]

Don't be surprised if people call you sexist then. It still is sexist. It is in the Islamic world's 'settings' to be sexist but that doesn't stop the western world from calling them sexist.

[Sangwa]

Yup, it's sexist indeed. But such makes sense in a warrior tribe. Males are more keen on being feriocious, so it's normal that it is a male that leads a warrior tribe... At least that's what males think. And currently, it's a male running the guild.

[Allive]

Always will be a male running guild oh and to hopefully keep any sexist remarks down even though this is what the settings says there was a female included in the discussion of makeing the guild and she was happy to have this rule.

[Garile]

ok think about it even outside the ps setting every pack animal is lead by the strongest male

A. Thats simply not true. Elephant herds for example are normally led by the oldest female and wolf packs are normally led by a male but a female leading does happen. So sorry to say this, but don't state a fact if you don't know it is infact a fact.
B. Comparing intelligent beings, that enkies are, with wild animals is comparing humans with monkeys. Might work with things like how long a pregnancy lasts, but how a group picks a leader I would say would be tottally different.
C. One female in the whole group? Now ofcourse that makes it all alright. I asume you read the sarcasm in that statement

D. sexist: The making a distinction between men and women with no other criteria then that they are men or women. No matter how many reasons or justification you bring that doesn't change that that is exactly what you are doing.

[Parallo]

It is completely sexist and he knows that. Comparing humans to monkeys is fine in everything except social things like this.

[emeraldfool]

We need more sexism in Planeshift. Makes it more interesting.