First, you did notice that you can run the game with a -fullbright option, didn't you? Makes it easier by far to find your way around dark places such as the DR. Second, people's urge to help you depends quite a lot on how you ask them. Remember, this is a roleplaying game. So don't shout and if possible, don't use /tells. Also, do NOT use 1337-5P34K. Don't lose your patience, someone will be bound to help you sooner or later, in fact, most people will gladly help you, if you ask them nicely IC, even if there IS the occasional black sheep. If all else fails, try simply following someone.
True, the DR is somewhat less populated since dying from falling is not as easy as it used to be *shudders at the thought of slipping 3 feet and suddenly waking up in the DR*, however, in my experience there's almost always someone around who's making a beeline for the exit, although lately some people seem to die on purpose to enter the DR for *ahem* other reasons.
Again, don't give up and don't lose your patience. You'll see that getting out is only hard the first one or two times.