SHIFT WARS
Episode IV
A NOOB HOPE
Mangled by
Under the moon (UtM)
Unrevised and final First Last Draft
MOON|WRITING LTD.
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A long time ago… well, maybe not so long ago… Ok, it was yesterday…, On a server far, far, away... that is unless you live in Singapore, or one of the neighboring cities or countries…
Dramatic and booming drums of war sound in your imagination as you begin to read this tale. There is no cool scrolling or fading of words as they vanish into the far distance. About the coolest thing you are going to see here is if you scroll down as you are reading while trying to keep your eyes crossed. Try not to get sick…
It is a Epoch of unrest, power leveling, and looting. Roleplayers, contriving and enacting a grand RP from a hidden tavern in Hydlaa, have just won a great battle against the quasi-evil-or-maybe-just-misunderstood Dark Empire. Well, actually, they stood and stared at each other as…well, never mind, as it is not really important. What is important, is that the battle was just a distraction! RPers (oh hell, let’s just call them Rebels and be done with it) The Rebels had snuck spies into the ranks of the Empire to write silly things on the walls of Nurahk’s private washroom. Quite accidentally, one of the spies happened to step on a peace of papers that stuck to his foot on the way out. Princes Nilaya happens to see it, and finds that it is not trash, but the Empire’s entire and horrid plan to take control of all of Planeshift! It just happens to be written on a used napkin next to a pie stain of the round kind.
To continue, and where we start this tale, Nilaya rushes across the plains of Oja in her caravan, with all the hopes of roleplaying clutched in her paws. Unfortunatly, she and her companions, the Explorers, are unknowing that the Empire has noticed the missing pie-stained plans, and has laid out a most sinister and devious ambush…
OJA PLANES: OVERHEAD VIEW- Pan forward over caravan.
Actually… the Planes are not really anything pretty to look at. Just dirt and yellow grass. Let’s try that again.
OJA PLANES: SIDE VIEW, LOW TO THE GROUND-- stationary camera, close up of wagon wheels and boots.
Ah yes. Much better. It is nearly dusk, and the shadows grow long. Great wooden wheels stir up small motes of dust as they grind over the well worn tracks of countless other travelers. Bare feet and booted trod to either side. Suddenly, the wheels and boots stop as one as an energy arrow slams into the ground in the background, spraying the camera with dust and rock shards. The camera pans back as a second arrow strikes the back wagon wheel, shattering it beyond repair. Silhouetted figures draw swords and arms as the hills burst forth with bellowing fighters.
INTERIOR: BULK PASSENGER and GOODS CHAINWAGON. (five or six large wagons in a train, pulled by one team of great beasts)
The wagon shakes as the panicked team struggles to pull the wagons out of a blast crater left from a fireball. Two Bots, Jayose-P-O, and iKtomiD2 are tossed about in their seats. The shuddering stops with a loud bellow and an explosion.
Jayose: Good Gods! I am not sure I understood that, as the bellow was not phrased quite right, and the explosion could have used a simpler but more correct blast wave, but I think they just killed and looted our Beasts of burden! We’ll be challenged for sure! This is insanity!
Explorer fighters come from the next section of the chain wagon, and draw swords as the take up position around the entrance.
Jayose: There is no escape!! We are all going to die in here.
iKtomi: Beep, boop, deep, +b, -set mode to stop being such a coward-
Jayose: The Princess will be pawned for sure this time.
iKtomi continues making beeps and codes quite possibly questioning the other Bot’s manhood as a sound is heard right outside the door.
Jayose: Was that a sound I heard right outside the door?
EXTERIOR: RIGHT OUSIDE THE DOOR
Hulking figures of armored soldiers and perhaps other more foul things approach right outside the door.
INTERIOR: CHAINWAGON
A knock is heard on the door. The Rebel Explorers look at one another. They are obviously newbies by the look of them. The knock sounds again, followed by the ringing of the little bell on a string. The Rebels once again look at each other. Finally, at a third knock, one of the young soldiers shrugs his shoulders and opens the door to see who is there. He is immediately challenged to a duel, and is dragged from the wagon. The others Explorers rush out to help. Energy arrows and fireballs crash into the side of the wagon, some of them coming very near the two Bots.
Jayose: iKtomi, look what you have gotten me into now, you half scripted ball of hacked code!
Iktomi beeps rapidly in irritation. We can be glad his language filter is working, as some of those beeps may have been words. The two rush into the next wagon.
INTERIOR: VACATED WAGON
A dark figure wearing a darker trench coat enters the wagon, carelessly stepping on the bodies of friend or foe alike. One of the Empire troopsimmediately bursts into song.
Troop: Bum bum bum ba ba ba, ba ba bum. Ba ba bum. BA bum BA, bum ba-da-ba, bum bum, bum ba-da-ba…
Dark figure: Can it, Pie.
Pie: Yes. Sorry Lord Frostmorn.
INTERIOR: LAST WAGON
Princess Nilaya stands over iKtomi with a soiled napkin in her hand. She reaches down and stuffs the cloth down the back of his shirt. Then turns and runs as JayosePO spies them from the next wagon. Jayose comes hobbling over, as his path finder does not seem to be working quite right. Fighting is heard far back in the other wagons.
Jayose: Well… now what do we do? As sad as it is, you are the brains of this duo.
iKtomi beeps triumphantly and sets mode to +o iKtomi.
Jayose: I do not understand. Please restate that in a way -anyone- would bother to listen to.
Empire troops are heard marching through the final wagon before theirs.
Jayose: Come on! Think of something. I don not want to be recoded into a carpfish.
Instead of answering, iKtomi scoots up a ladder to the top of the waggon. Looking around anxiously, Jay follows.
INTERIOR: MID CHAINWAGON
The evil Lord Frost…
Frostmourn: Can I be called Darth?
Well…. ok. The evil Darth Frostmourn…
Darth Frostmourn: How about horrifically evil, or detestably wicked, or…
The -evil- Darth Frostmourn stands over the bodies of his victims, some still twitching or smoldering.
Frostmourn: Oh, no that I lik. Go on.
Stop interrupting. Frostmourn nods and reaches down to pick up one of the not quite dead yet Rebels. He holds the man up by the neck, and brings him close to his face. Pie comes running out of the last Wagon.
Pie: The pied Plans aren’t anywhere I looked. Though, in my defense, I did not look very hard, or in many places. Mostly I just raided the cooler and drank all their ale.
Frostmourn squeezes the Rebel harder.
Frostmourn: S’ok, Pie. If you did find the soiled napkin of doomzors, I would not have been able to do this…
With that, he picks the soldier up by the neck.
Frostmourn: Where is those soiled pie cloth you took? What have you done our mighty scribblings!? And where is the good wine!? Most importantly, what have you done to my lemons?!?!?
Solder: Wait! Don’t kill me. I saw…glaaaaaaaaaaa…
Frostmourn crushes the guy’s neck, and tosses him out a window.
Pie: Um… I think he was about to tell us where the plans are.
Frostmourn: Oh, was he? I wasn’t paying much attention. Short attention span. Sorry. See if you can fand me another live one, and we’ll try that shot again. And Pie, stay out of the cooler.
[[more will be added. perhaps soon, perhaps not.
]]
