Author Topic: Malkari - Corruption of the Innocent  (Read 3156 times)

Zwenze

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Re: Malkari
« Reply #30 on: November 03, 2007, 05:21:24 am »
The story is well written , a good writting style. The character Malkari has personality and depth. The twists and bends about beeing evil and want to be good is an intresting aspect. But there is a little thing that spoils the fun for me a bit.

The character Malkari seems to be over powered. He can dephase him self, can teleport, has a boiling skin, has shadow arms, can casts the non existing spell and so on. Heck, he can even fight several people at once and leaves burn marks where he stands. Ok, he gets wounded, but that only leads to blood choughing and being healed later. As a reader I got the impression this char is unlimited and will overcome every situation with another new spell or magic. This leads to two problems:

1st: Story will get less excited. If I as a reader don't have the feeling the character might fail his plans and the possibility for the character to die is zero then the intrest drops as the possible outcomes of the story gets limited. It is similar to Tom and Jerry. No one believes that Tom will ever catch Jerry and eat him.

2nd: Solving problems by inventing new magic will lead to a point where other players might pick this style up. That will lead to battles where the involved magics will increase over time. The result is that the entire point of the story is that booth parties invent new and more powerfull spells. The authenticity of magics is inverse to the power of the magics. FInally someone will invent the <ultimate mega uber super duper kill am all and let Talad sort em out> - spell. Less might be more here and sticking to the settings will help a lot.

I know no one want's his character to fail or even die during honest role playing. And playing an dark alligned character is more difficult. If your char fight against several other characters alone and you dont want your cahr to die get him out of danger and rp a flee.


Suno_Regin

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Re: Malkari
« Reply #31 on: November 03, 2007, 10:01:54 am »
Hey, thanks for the review Zwenze, I appreciate it. :)

Those powers weren't really a magic. In Mitaki's sleep, he had a dark way spell cast on him (the only magic here besides the teleportation, which I'll get at in a second), that released his evil from him and had it malformed into his mirror image of him. Now, being that it was finally killed when Mitaki was able to escape the death realm and switch roles around with the entity, being its shadow instead of the other way around, he was able to kill it since it had a physical body. With Malkari, that anti-existance was born inside of him from the memories, and lived inside of him, but without a physical body, it had to take over Malkari's mind and use him. It couldn't use any of its powers until Malkari willfully accepted the entity, and let it fully take over his body, only asking for the entity to leave him in control. He was allowed, and with the entity not having to focus on maintaining a physical body, since Malkari was the one in control and was using his body as a host, it was able to launch itself out of his body when Malkari commanded, as these shadow arms. His skin boiled because this was when the two were slightly "separated" with the shadow arms being released, and also with him phasing into the ground. That was also the time when, when he was critically injured by Velh, Nixe and Noriin, the entity would force itself out of him in order to stay alive. However, it couldn't come out in a physical body due to not having the proper magic like how he was released and created from Mitaki, so it was sort of like a shadow in the ground until it was given enough time to shape itself. But Nixe killed it off before that happened, so now with Malkari no longer having those powers, small wounds have a deeper effect on him then before. He hasn't been in a roleplay fight since then, so I haven't gotten a chance to write anything, and I'm still not sure if I'll continue writing this story or not. He'll die much easier, though. ;P

Now, the teleportation, I think I heard somewhere that there actually is a red way spell to be able to teleport. However, this one's of a deeper intensity, so when it engulfs the body in a flame and casts it off to wherever the user chooses, it leaves that burn mark on the ground. I like to think of spells as more than just glyphs. If you train enough, you can borrow the crystal's power at will and shape it into whatever you wish, the glyphs are just sort of "starter" magics, that let you connect deeper with that way until you're able to create your own magics. Being a creature born of pure hatred, the entity had fluency in both the dark and red ways, ways of sickness and death, and ways of destruction.

He actually would have died from those injuries in the first battle, it was a surprise for me even when Anarkia helped him out, at first Malkari figured she was just watching and waiting for her chance to kill him, since she overheard Xeonart talking about his plans and looked worried about things. But, Malkari completely misread her, she was on his side and helped him out when he was near-death. I can't say I wasn't planning to get Malkari killed in these events, things just worked out in the other direction. He even was going to kill himself after the entity left his body, but he was stopped. He's sort of "kept alive against his will" and with latest events not mentioned in the story, his heart's softening up after meeting a few people (I think they know who they are).
« Last Edit: November 03, 2007, 10:03:26 am by Suno_Regin »

RoberetGoldsmith

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Re: Malkari
« Reply #32 on: November 04, 2007, 06:23:23 pm »
 Good RP that was, yet you forgot to mention when Roberet Innocently walked alway hehe  :P. None the less its good to see these RPs being noted down  :thumbup: