Author Topic: The Tale of Dobokin  (Read 1291 times)

Suno_Regin

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The Tale of Dobokin
« on: March 24, 2008, 05:52:03 pm »
My name is Dobokin Azurepath. I am planning to spend the rest of my life with who I've found to be my true love, Ishina Mikilira. Though I could not be happier, times were not always so forgiving. Before I met my love Ishina, I had feelings for a woman named Rani Jillayne, who I'd grown attached to over our friendship. She seemed kind, and would always stay around me and talk to me when I felt alone. I confused this friendship with love, and I started to spend on her, buying her many different clothes and objects, thinking that I could make our so-called bond stronger. I believe that she found a way to manipulate me, and over time, I was practically her servant. I didn't mind, for my feelings were strong enough that I'd do almost anything she asked of me. I was quite a fool...

One day, she introduced me to a friend of hers, Ishina, who I did not know would become my true love one day. She was shy, and only gave a weak greeting when we first met. Rani took her with us when we walked down the streets of town, looking for tailors and jewelers that we could buy from, or rather, I could buy from, to please her. Sadly, my father's job was only paying so much anymore, and being that I was young and not taught how to hunt or work, I was running low on trias. After I returned home from our trip through town, which I was lucky enough Rani didn't see much that she wanted me to buy for her, I received news from my mother that we were planning to move away. Saddened, I went to Rani's home to tell her of the news as my parents packed our belongings, but once I arrived, I found that she wasn't there.

I walked back home, sad and confused, wishing that I could stay with her, but alas, there was not much I could do to change the minds of my parents. I saw a wagon sitting outside of our home once I returned, carrying the essentials for our journey to the new town, which only saddened me further. The door opened, and out came my parents, not even looking back at what they were leaving behind. I crawled into the wagon and fell asleep in sorrow as the wagon slowly started to move and my parents talked about the family's future. I woke up abruptly once the wagon hit a bump, and I looked outside the tethering to see the lights of town slowly disappearing from behind the trees, while the lights inside of my being dimmed.

Once arriving in the town of our destination, Delving, my father was already job searching, leaving my mother and I to unpack in our new home. I only took what was mine and arranged things around in my new room, and when I was finished, I fell onto my bed in thought. I had to find a way to get back to Rani, especially after I'd given her so much except for a confession of my feelings. A few long hours later, my mother finished moving our possessions out of the wagon and arranging them around in the house, and she'd just sat down at the table when my father ran into the house, full of joy. From what my mother told me, he said he'd found gold, and was going to devote himself to mining to support our family. I despised him, and my mother, for making me part from Rani. I wanted to leave, but I had no knowledge of how to get back to Quintherion, my town of birth.

(To be continued)

Leama

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Re: The Tale of Dobokin
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2008, 06:09:38 pm »
Suno you are such a good writer. The beginning of your story takes me in and makes me feel like I am part of it. You hint to things to come and yet let me think you will surprise me with your next chapter.

Your story is one of the many reasons this is my favorite part of the forum.

This shows that a great story does not have to be violent. I am impressed to say the least. Please do not have me wait to long for your next installment.

Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards.

Raa

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Re: The Tale of Dobokin
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2008, 10:30:03 pm »
Quote
This shows that a great story does not have to be violent.

There'll be violence, I'm sure... Eventually...  ;D