I have only posted these to encourage Rinenud to make more. I stole them from the DE forum. Its everyone's favourite mad scholar, Ludwigus.
To: Emperor Sangwa
From: Ludwigus Descartium
Hail Sangwa,
It has been too long since we last spoke my old friend. Much has happened to us both. Oh how fortunes wax and wane! There you sit, the resplendent Emperor, while I sit here forlorn, having lost my hair and half my house. But I am forced to forgo pleasantries, and deal with a matter most grave. Though it pains me to do so Sangwa, I am forced to protest in the strongest possible manner about the continuing appalling behaviour of young Rinenud Ginat.
Now as you know, we scholars and wizards here at the Stronghold had high hopes that Rinenud would follow in my footsteps, the footsteps of his mentor, and pursue a noble career of secluded research. We were horrified when we learnt that instead the glitter and glamour of Hydlaa had attracted him. The news of his joining the Empire and enrolling with the Scholars Guild did alleviate our fears somewhat. Under your tutelage Sangwa, and with my invisible hand in the background, we were convinced Rinenud would achieve great things. Yet this morning I received and read his first book, “Sounds Too Familiar”, and in all my years I have never read such a scandalous piece of nonsense.
Though I am forced to admit that I cannot as yet find any substantial arguments to refute his attack on Levrus, I must nevertheless protest. For “attack” is exactly what Rinenud has indulged in here. Allow me to explain the protocols of philosophical discussion in the world of academia: one does not simply demolish the arguments of one’s opponents as we see in “Sounds Too Familiar”, instead one teases, one coaxes, one conducts one’s conversation behind closed doors away from the prying eyes of the unwashed masses. One most certainly does not one humiliate one’s peers in public like this. And not only has he the audacity to attack my dear friend Levrus, he has the gall to quote a servant to impugn my character. A servant! Sangwa, protocol insists I demand an immediate apology from you for this outrage.
Furthermore, I must complain about the boy’s conduct - conduct that is unbecoming of a scholar, let alone a gentleman. Two matters: first, it has been brought to my attention that young Rinenud is running around Hydlaa proclaiming himself as “Yliakum’s greatest philosopher”. Second, I am told that certain Hydlaa women of – how may I put this delicately? – of loose morals are proclaiming him as “the Mage with the Most”. On the latter sobriquet: I wish neither to dispute nor even to enquire into its meaning, but one of my servants has hinted at its lewd and lascivious connotation. I demand you speak to the boy about this matter and remind him of the high morals expected of a scholar.
And as for the former proclamation! Well my friend, excuse me for saying this, but how dare you allow the young upstart to run around saying such a thing? Do not misunderstand me, no one, least of all I, is disputing the boy’s incredible talent. We are all aware of the legendary story of his first ever utterance, and of how it shook the academic and religious world (despite the terrible tragedy that befell his mother), and we are all aware of his subsequent development and tribulations (a development in which I played a major role, I might add), but “Yliakum’s greatest philosopher”? The little egotist has written only one scandalous, tawdry little book and he thinks he is better than the rest of us? Better than Levrus? Better than me? His mentor and tutor for these last twenty years? I taught the ungrateful little whelp everything he knows!
Old friend, I ask you to consider your course of action carefully. I am aware that young Rinenud is on the verge of becoming a full Imperial. I ask you: is the above behaviour that which one would expect from a member of the Empire? I see neither Order nor Unity in his actions, only an undisciplined display of unfocused Power. Is he really ready to join you? I think not. I recommend you send him back to me, and allow me to lock him away at the Stronghold for at least another ten years. He is a risk both to you and to respectable scholars everywhere.
Yours in friendship always,
Ludwigus Descartium
PS I need some advice from you old friend. What exactly is meant by having someone in the sights of one’s crossbow? And what does it mean to notch someone up? And what by Laanx’s good grace is “a little black book”? I only ask because I hear that Rinenud has your beautiful daughter Morven “in the sights of his crossbow”, and that he intends “to notch her up” and add her to his “little black book”. What does all this nonsense mean? I totally despair of the youth of today; they speak their own impenetrable language.
To: Emperor Sangwa
From: Ludiwgus Descartium, Head of Philosophy, Stronghold (Retired)
Sangwa,
Beware the Kikiri.
I have received your letter, but the annoyances of Ginat pale into insignificance in light of a new threat. Beware the Kikiri, for they watch, they wait, and slowly and surely, they draw their plans against us. I suspect you will dismiss my latest theory, like those fools at the Stronghold who have forced me into early retirement because of “inconsistent behaviour”. But consider this: have you ever seen a Kikiri move? Have you? I thought not! All day, every day, there they stand in exactly the same position in the mansion gardens. It is not... natural. They are watching us constantly, and the minute we look back, they play the dumb little animal!
As I write this, I can feel the eyes of the Kikiri in the mansion garden upon me. I fear for my safety. In attempting to uncover their plans, I have dispensed with clothing (the rustling gives me away). I am attempting to sneak up on them, and catch them in their scheming. No luck so far alas, but they are not fooling me. I must be patient and persistent. Yes, patient and persistent. The servants as usual are of no help. They lack the intellectual power to understand what is at stake. All they do is smile and pat me on the head whenever I raise the matter. Sangwa, our hour of doom approaches; warn the Vigesimi.
Yours,
Ludwigus
PS I am now convinced Ginat is somehow in cahoots with the Kikiri. Maybe the ringleader? Watch him Sangwa, watch him very carefully.
