Conflicts

[Mathy Stockington]

Oddly enough Vonor that is exactly what I did. I only wish I could give Lolitra a big hug and ask her for her friendship back. How sad!! And yes I might take these things to heart to much, but it means a lot to me.

[khoridor]

From my perspective, his reply was not a personal attack (otherwise sterile => I just leave it), but a perfect example of an instant, off topic answer. And I followed by an example of why, probably, he ends up into conflicts in the first place.
Well, if you found my post offensive, or aggressive, mea culpa. I'm not an old wise woman anyway.

[Mathy Stockington]

I guess we are entitled to our words. Maybe is how the other people receives them is the issue.

Anyway, how do we deal with /ignore if we wish to make things right with a person who will not communicate with us?

[Vonor]

Mathy, it's never to late. You still can talk to Lolitra and I'm sure things can get solved - they keyword here is communication

Khoridor, I'm unsure what you're referring to, for the case your referred to my post though: I agreed with you  

[khoridor]

Anyway, how do we deal with /ignore if we wish to make things right with a person who will not communicate with us?

Use a mediator. I think I can guess why she would ignore you (as I pointed out earlier). So find a common friend, preferably not involved at all in the event, and try to talk through him or her.
And be patient.

[Lolitra, Celorrim Purrty Twins]

Please, I have not said 'I hate' any one, or 'your no longer my friend'.

I have only expressed my hurt at ''not being consulted about such an impactive RP" which incidently lost several things that are not easily replacable - i.e. they were written things by players, who do not have back ups of them. 

Yes I did wear my heart on my sleave, but I think I was justified in this, when so openely challenged after I posted a 'rough understanding' not a full one...

Communication is the key here, and understanding of your own words too as well as gaining a grasp of what is said by others.

I ask only one thing, have a read of the first post directly after my first mention of this Guild House matter... and bear in mind, my first entry was not to assume foul play, but to ask if it was permitted (i.e. RP or a game glitch) then I edited it, after I was informed of an very odd incident - I did not go into detail, nor name names... and ask yourself this, why did Lolitra then go on the defensive, what was written that could be interpreted as a direct attack on her personallity?

[hmm that was odd, talking about myself in the third party.. oh well]

In this matter I feel I am constantly on a back foot, being rielled...   The other thread is locked - so why start a new one - it feels to me that someone wants to make me feel bad...

Congratulations, I do.  I am sick [well actually I am truely sick, but that is another matter... ] but of this pettiness that could so easily been avoided if the instigator did the right thing in the first instance, like all good RPers really aught to do - ask if those it will effect wish to partake in the up coming RP.

Why this incident involving the 'guildhouse' came about is beyond me, what spurred such an act of spontanious chaos and bad judgement followed by same on many peoples parts is now over...  all we can do is learn by it and get back to playing fairly, considerately and most importantly - in a way that gets maximum fun for all.

All welcome to join in, and I mean ALL.

Lolitra

[Mathy Stockington]

Lolitra,

First: I wish you well as I always have.

Second: I started this thread to really see if something beneficial could possibly come of it.

Thirdly: I am really getting tired of the conflicts.

This is another issue I encountered in game recently with someone I considered a friend who I greatly admire; As we chatted in tells I told this person I was having difficulty role playing with her. She said of course you are because I play a queer and you cannot play with someone like that. She told me she tried to 'tune it down' just for me. An argument ensued over my ability to role play. It ended with my logging out of game.

Therefore I made this thread not to belittle you or cause harm. Quite on the contrary I really want to know how best to deal with conflicts.

I called a fellow co-worker a nasty name today, but because she could see the smile on my face she laughed and handed it right back to me. We both laughed. No harm was done.

Zorbels is correct in that there is no eye contact so when we are joking someone else might not know it. There is also a language barrier in some cases that might not be apparent. I have been stalked, been lied to, and criticized and for me I just hate the conflicts and wish it would stop.

That is reason for this thread.

[Parallo]

Conflict is what keeps 'em coming back. I think we should find ways to make more conflict.

[Mythryndel]

I agree, to a point. I think that it shouldn't be guaranteed to travel between Akkaio and BD without being mobbed by monsters or players or whatever. I do not think that the "utopia" that PS (not the google tech talk PS, but the one we keep getting told has no conflict between races) is does not allow for room to justify wars or larger scale conflicts between groups of players... at least for IC reasons.

I'll overlook the obvious right now, except to say that it was NOT a good source of conflict.

But to get back on-topic, this was about resolving player disputes. PLAYERS getting out of line and what-not.

[Parallo]

I know. Thats what I'm talking about. Its entertaining.

[Mathy Stockington]

I know. Thats what I'm talking about. Its entertaining.

Might I ask what you find 'entertaining' Parallo? I do not understand.

[Parallo]

When you people get all upset over a game it gives all the enjoyment of trolling with none of the consequences. When I get bored I can have some entertainment without getting banned by just reading the forums.

[Socius Rockus]

This thread is incredible. Someone says "Use common sense" and then people expend incredible amounts of effort to ignore it. The Quantity Theory of Insanity garners yet more empirical support.

As for you Mathy, I don't see the problem. I"ve always found you a little queer.

* Socius Rockus nods and LMAO

(technically it should be lhao)

[Mathy Stockington]

This thread is incredible. Someone says "Use common sense" and then people expend incredible amounts of effort to ignore it. The Quantity Theory of Insanity garners yet more empirical support.

As for you Mathy, I don't see the problem. I"ve always found you a little queer.

That is odd because I cannot even remember you at all. So not to cause another conflict, but at least I am memorable. That says a lot.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Common sense (or, when used attributively as an adjective, commonsense, common-sense, or commonsensical), based on a strict construction of the term, consists of what people in common would agree on: that which they "sense" (in common) as their common natural understanding. Some people[who?] use the phrase to refer to beliefs or propositions that — in their opinion — most people would consider prudent and of sound judgment, without reliance on esoteric knowledge or study or research, but based upon what they see as knowledge held by people "in common". Thus "common sense" (in this view) equates to the knowledge and experience which most people allegedly have, or which the person using the term believes that they do or should have.

Whatever definition one uses, identifying particular items of knowledge as "common sense" becomes difficult. Philosophers may choose to avoid using the phrase when using precise language. But common sense remains a perennial topic in epistemology and many philosophers make wide use of the concept or at least refer to it. Some related concepts include intuitions, pre-theoretic belief, ordinary language, the frame problem, foundational beliefs, good sense, endoxa, and axioms.

Common-sense ideas tend to relate to events within human experience (such as good will), and thus appear commensurate with human scale. Humans lack any commonsense intuition of, for example, the behavior of the universe at subatomic distances; or speeds approaching that of light.

from here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_sense

[Mathy Stockington]

I think this says that 'common sense' is what a person perceives is logical in their good judgment, therefore what might work for one person might not work for another. That does not mean anyone is wrong, it just means that what we think makes common sense might not be what another thinks is common sense.

So take a moment before we type so that we do not do any harm to anyone. Each day is a learning experience if we want it to be.
I agree with Zorbels communication is most important. We just have try to do this in the correct way.