The privations of Parallo

[Attersson]

The privations of Parallo

A historical account by Rinenud

Unknown to all, apart from Rinenud and Attersson,  is Parallo's darkest shame: He is the illegitimate son of Lord Shaftsbury.
In a bid to hide the family shame, the Lord smuggled Parallo across the channel on an old steamer in the middle of the night. He paid a poor Irish family a sack of potatoes to adopt the bastard.
The family at first refused, not wishing to cavort with the Old Enemy. The Lord, being a cunning sort, added a bottle of vodka to the deal, and suggested the family call the boy Parallo Cromwell, as a form of retribution. The family were sold.
Upon returning to his country home, flush with triumph, the Lord was greeted with bad news. A life-time of roasted pheasant and English port had now left him sterile; there was no heir to the Shaftsbury line. Aghast, the Lord realised that the one sole heir to his fortune was now growing potatoes and receiving abuse from young children. In a fit of despondency, the Lord drank himself silly...
and summoned his servants. "I demand," he said, "that the boy Parallo Cromwell is recovered and restored to his rightful position, here at my right side." And so started the search for Parallo Cromwell, spurned bastard son of an English Lord, now a poor farmer, disowned and abused by a family who never loved him, who only took him in for a sack of potatoes and a bottle of vodka.

[Entevir]

Um... Heh. made me smile. Nice and strange. I like it.

[Parallo]

Strange? I don't go around calling your family history strange, do I?

[Entevir]

Strange? I don't go around calling your family history strange, do I?

You want to ?

[Parallo]

Well, my good sir, provided you do not retract any statements made concerning the late Lord Shaftsbury, my father, and his eccentricities, I will indeed brand your family and it's history as strange and whats more odd and queer. Consider your warning served, biatch.

[Attersson]

My dear citizens, I have discovered more historical documents, which hopefully will shed further light on Parallo's sad origins.

It seems that, trying his unpleasant best, the Lord's envoy spent a little while to explain to Parallo of his nobler origins. Allegedly, he later reported that "teaching numbers to a monkey is easier than talking sense to Parallo". However, somehow, he succeeded at persuading the boy and trying to bring him back to Lord Shaftsbury.
In the meantime, Lady Shaftsbury declared her pregnancy. Fastening his fists in a spiteful outburst of rage, Lord Shaftsbury exploded with a scream when he came to acknowledge the news. For three days he pondered if to spurn her, putting at stake his own name with the shame tied to this act, which'd unevitably reveal the unloyalty of his wife. Not that his name had that much of a reputation, though...
The possibility to be the father of this child, having regained his own fertility, didn't even occur to his mind, since he was absolutely certain of his total lack of manhood. In other words his unability to touch the lady for weeks, provided him with sufficient proof of the treason... that his wife had committed with another man. He knew it was already a miracle he'd conceived, somehow, this bastard child.
However, soon, any trace of the pregnancy disappeared.
He came to regret all the form of physical wickedness he issued to punish the hapless lady when it became evident the true reason of her "hysterical pregnacy": the lady was merely desiring what Lord Shaftsbury couldn't offer her.
Allegedly, infact, such frigidity is deeply rooted in the Shaftsbury bloodline, as Parallo is a living proof of. It doesn't surprize us that every man of the bloodline, included Parallo, has always been a promoter of the "virtue" of pre-matrimonial chastity. Otherwise they'd expose their lacking of virility, scarying even the most desperate lady off. Therefore, the continuation of the dynasty couldn't be possible by any means.

[Parallo]

Virtue has always been important to the Shaftesbury line. According to the old lord something was good if it contributed to the well-being of the system of which it is a part and procreation with an old man is surely not something that the other half of the involved system would benefit from. In this act he proved the existence of altruism supplying the only existing evidence to support his position on egoism. Altruism also explains the reason that Parallo's notion of virtue differs much to his father's on the issue of pre-marital relations. Only a truely selfish person would keep a form of the order of beauty which forms not only such as we call mere forms but even the forms which form to themselves.

[Jekkar]

Horrible.

[Parallo]

The layout?

[Jekkar]

The layout?

Mostly, and the spelling.

[Parallo]

I'm dyslexic.

[Jekkar]

I'm dyslexic.

You spelled therapeutic wrong.

[Sangwa]

I couldn't extract any information at all from the last post. But I like the other ones . All makes sense about Parallo now.

[Parallo]

This should be added to my last one.

[Parallo]

It would be prudent to add some context. Rinenud, also being a bastard child of the lord came to be from the odd coupling of Shaftesbury with one of the lineage of John Duns Scotus. Following the scandal the good lord was determined to not allow the child to remain and thus had him shipped to the German countryside by express courier package. It was here that the now infamous Ludwigus Descartium found him in a small box in the woods and decided to raise him in his ways. It was under his guidance that the boy developed his obsession with the kikiri. The old scholar had kept some in his garden up until times recent and the boy took great delight in studying these creatures. Man and boy would sit late into the night examining their forms and Ludwigus would teach him of the philosophy of aesthetics, a school coincidentally dear to his own father.

"Boy, the aesthetic experience of beauty is a judgment of universal truth and not a subjective one.” would say the man.

The boy simply listened, fascinated by the fact that the man shared in his interest.

Continued Ludwigus, "Since all people should agree that “this kikiri is beautiful” it must in fact be."

It was thus that when Rinenud was saved from his life of farmyard study by the venerable lord in exchange for a barrel of beer and a German sausage and subsequently brought into society and the company of others, many were perplexed and made uncomfortable by his obsession with the kikiri.