The hardest decision I ever have to make

[Mathy Stockington]

I have a beautiful 15-year-old male Blue Merle Shetland Sheepdog who has hip dysphlasia. I have him on pain medication and the very best food made for dogs. He is in pain and he gets disoriented to the point where he just stands there not knowing what he is supposed to do. I have on occasion had to help him stand when he is having a bad day. Though he still eats and is able to do many things when he has good days.

We can make a decision as to when to end a dog’s life. It is the hardest decision I ever had to make. I am not sure when to do this. Certainly I do not want to do it before the right time. When is the right time? My dog is a very special member of my family and I do not what to make him suffer, but I do not want to do this until it is right. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I should do?

I will say this now this is a serious situation to my family and me. We are grieving so please stay on topic. Thank you for your help.

[catarina]

I have a beautiful 15-year-old male Blue Merle Shetland Sheepdog who has hip dysphlasia. I have him on pain medication and the very best food made for dogs. He is in pain and he gets disoriented to the point where he just stands there not knowing what he is supposed to do. I have on occasion had to help him stand when he is having a bad day. Though he still eats and is able to do many things when he has good days.

We can make a decision as to when to end a dog’s life. It is the hardest decision I ever had to make. I am not sure when to do this. Certainly I do not want to do it before the right time. When is the right time? My dog is a very special member of my family and I do not what to make him suffer, but I do not want to do this until it is right. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I should do?

I will say this now this is a serious situation to my family and me. We are grieving so please stay on topic. Thank you for your help.

Mathy,

My sincerest feelings go to you and your family in regards to the member of your family that is struggling right now. I have had to make this decision in the past, so I somewhat know what you and your family are dealing with.

My german shephard was 14, arthritic, nearly blind, nearly deaf, incontinent and could barely walk around. I still get very sad remembering the almost look of shame she would get when she would soil herself. I made the extremely difficult decision of having her put to sleep, and after a time, I began to realize that finally the constant pain of her daily life had been eased, by letting go of her. I think that what you have to focus on is your dogs current quality of life.

I think that you need to be brutally honest with yourself when considering the good days versus the bad days that your beloved dog goes through. It is normal in a situation like this to want to cling to what was, and to hope for the possibility of what could be, but your dog is living in this 'right now' moment. And right now, does he spend more time in pain and confusion that he does in comfort and awareness?

May you and your family find comfort and strength in each other,
Peace,
~rina

[Waterman]

This thread makes me sad, because my dog is getting up there too.  Though she's not at that point yet, I imagine in a couple of years she will be.  I'm just glad I won't be the one making the decision, as I moved out of my parents house many years ago and only visit a couple times a year.  It still sucks to think about though.

Sorry, I don't really have any advice aside from everyone's time comes at some point and if you decide against it, the subject is going to never go away til the end..  Good luck man.

[Raekh]

When I was working in a seniors residence, very most of the seniors told me they would have committed suicide before they would have come to a stage they were completely dependent on others. Now, not sure if this applies to animals as well of course.

My recent days, due to my job, I was thinking a lot about killing animals, if to do so at all, and if so, by what means. At this institute animals are often killed by CO2, choked, the animal suffers, but it is easier for the scientist than breaking its neck. To break its neck however spares the animal at lot of suffering.

I do not think killing per se is always a bad thing, neither death per se is. It may be yourself, merely, to suffer by loss.
To quote my professor yesterday: "Pay respect to the beings, swallow your own suffering instead of causing suffer."

I know you as one pretty emotional one. From what I read here you already presume your dog may suffer. I can hardly put myself in your place, but since you appear to feel like your dog is suffering, put it to an end. Keep your dog in good memories, and be sure you would have spared him agony and misery.

[Vorsh]

Mathy,

As a fellow dog owner and lover, I am greatly saddened by the choice you find yourself in.  My lab is approaching that time herself, and my heart breaks whenever I think about her end.  I can only offer you support and someone to talk to to help with the grief.  My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.  Just try to remember all the good times all of you have spent together and the joy your dog has brought to your lives, and maybe that will help.

I sincerely wish you the best.

[Roled]

Oh Mathy, I am so sorry to hear of your poor wonderful dog. What a terrifying decision to make. We too have a beautiful senior dog and yet we know the time will come, too soon for us i am sure, to protect our wonderful companion.

I know from experience when i was younger that the dog will kinda tell you when its too much for her/him. When the pain and disabilities are too much. I had an incredibly spiritual experience with my first dog when I was a teenager. When it was time. She told me.

There is a wonderful wonderful book, called Merle's Door: Lessons from a Freethinking Dog
by Ted Kerasote- winner of lots of awards. And read through to the end, as he deals with the death of his girlfriends dog, and then Merl's inevitable end.

Whatever messages you get from your Angel companion, listen, love, be with, accompany to the edge of that door, then let your Angel go. You will know the time, I am sure. Peace to you and your sweet friend.
Roled

[Anumesa]

Unfortunately, both of my puppies are old ladies now as well (both are 14 yrs old)..and it is getting to this time. One of them will most likely have to be put down soon as she has bone cancer and likely a brain tumor as well. It is an absolutely heartbreaking situation, but when i look at her and see her struggle just to stand and greet me when i enter the room its clear that her quality of life has deteriorated. No one ever wants to have to make the decision to put down a beloved member of their family...I am almost glad that i am away at school most of the time, since being there to experience it all would be just awful.

Good luck with your decision and always remember the good times that you both shared together..and remember that a loved dog will always love you back unconditionally, no matter what you choose.

[Mathy Stockington]

I will now tell you all a story. You see when I first got my dog, who I named Blue, the vet tech at my vet fell in love with my little 8 pound bundle of joy. So she went out to find her own ‘blue dog’. I called her yesterday to see how she was doing and to get advise from her about my dog. Well she told me that her ‘blue’ dog is slightly larger then mine and has pretty much the same symptons as my mine. They are both the same age though he is doing a bit worse then my ‘blue’ is. Before we hung up the phone, both of us in tears, she said this is “The hardest decision I will have to make.” That is where the name of the thread came from.

I took Blue on all of my vacations. I used to run home at lunch just to walk him so that he would not have to wait all day for me. Now I have a family member walk him for me so he is not alone all day. He eats his breakfast and dinner with the family. It might sound crazy but he is a family member and not just a dog to us. No one will ever show such love and devotion as he does. He is someone I can talk to and he would just sit there with his head tilted listening to me when I was lonely. He even would jump up on the couch and watch TV with me at night. It will be just the most horrible day for me when I no longer have to race home to walk him at the end of the workday.

When the day comes it will be one of the hardest days my family and I will ever experience since I lost both my parents. Though I will say that everyone should have a dog as wonderful as my blue. He has enriched our lives one hundred fold and he will be greatly missed for a very long time being that no one will ever be able to replace him.

Thank all of you for your kind words. Keep your advise coming. I am listening.

[Pizik]

The only advice I can offer is "Do to others what you would have them do to you" Anyone who knows me reasonably well should be aware I am not a person who quotes bible passages too often, but this one is a good one. It sucks, but how would you want to be treated in this situation if you had the freedom to choose. To me it is a case of Quality of Life versus Quantity of Life, whichever is more important in your opinion (or your dogs?) should be the route you choose. But please, do not allow the poor creature to suffer if it is only to delay your own suffering, which will come innevitably whatever you choose.

You have my 'condolences'.

[verden]

As someone who has put down a few cats and dogs and can no longer have pets, I have to say that each time that I have done this, I have questioned it.

We kill the animals because we do not wish to see them suffer. We do this for ourselves. Does anyone who has this view plan on letting someone else decide when it is time for them to die? Dying is a natural process. Man's history of attempting to pre-emp natural processes with man's own judgement is spotty at best. So I question it.

Honestly, not trying to make this decision any harder. But I had to put down a cat a couple of years ago. She perked up as we were on the way to the doctor, of course. I felt terrible. Sometimes, no matter how bad life is, maybe the only thing any creature wants is one more day.

[Bamko]

Sad topic.  Advice asked for, so here it is.

In MY opinion, People can understand why they are suffering, and CAN still enjoy life with Pain.

When your dog no longer is enjoying its life, and seems to be wondering why you, its leader, is not taking away the pain, it is time.

I know it sounds vauge, but every time I have had to make the decision, it seemed pretty clear to me.  Note clear does not mean easy. 

We have a blind OES with many health problems, but he is enjoying his life (still).  it was suggested we put him down years ago.  He is a lot of work, but scratch him behind the ear, let him sit at your feet and even put your feet on him like a footstool (hey, he likes it, seirously) and he is happy, just being close to us and playing what little bit he can. 


BTW, many dogs do not get enough minerals, Wont fix the age thing, but I find giving my dogs, a couple alfalfa pills a day seems to help with a lot of their joint aches and pains.  Aspirin seems to help OES's eye problems from hurting so much, and seems to reallyreduce his blood overclotting probs, and in summer, Thyme seems to keep off the flies and bugs some.

good luck and enjoy the time you have left with blue....

[Mathy Stockington]

Sometimes, no matter how bad life is, maybe the only thing any creature wants is one more day.

Being that yesterday was a very bad day I wonder how many more days are left. I wanted so much more. Blue is such a great dog. The sadness is unbearable.

[Bamko, what is an OES? Just because an animal is blind does not mean you have to put him down. There are some health problems that are manageable. You are a good person Bamko to open your home and heart to your pet. It is the quality of life that matters as Pizik said. I was told Blue would loose his hearing one day therefore I taught him 'doggy sign lauguage'. Now I am glad I did.]

[Bamko]

OES = Old English Sheepdog

He has many health problems.  His blindness is no more of an health problem to us than his breed, simply a description.  he has digestive probs where almost constant diarhea (a little better with yogurt, and special diet we give him, very few accidents in house, and very small, but can not walk but about a hundred yrds without having "problems" that make him sick for hours... and can dehydrate him.  Also clotting issue seems to have caused his blindness, along with many other issues, from needing surgury to other organ problems... 

Ironically they wanted us to show him, though we refused.  he is HUGE for an OES, about 130 Lbs before he was overweight, tall, longer and larger than most OES.  but not healthy.

Of course we could of got our money back for him, when it was discovered, but I told my wife to ask them what the breeder would do with him if we returned him.

Thus he has been a member of our family ever since.

[Mathy Stockington]

Bamko I am sure that your dog has been a blessing. It is a great thing you did to save his life. Give him a big pet behind the ears and a gentle hug from me. You are a good man. A much better person then I am being you let your dog live and I am thinking of when to let mine go.

[verden]

The cat I spoke of had a stroke. She was wandering around stiff-legged, drooling. It was very sad and grotesque. Being that she had been adopted by my black lab many years before, it was doubly-sad. The dog we had to put down about five years before the cat. They were together for 16 years or so. These discussions are always sad. Ultimately, the decision must be made. But I tend to avoid projecting onto animals. Even if you think the animal is looking at you, saying something, your interpretation is going to be inexact at best.