Parody of Xiosimass

[bloodedIrishman]

Last year Xiosia came to Hydlaa and gave wishes to people such as maxed skills and guildhouses.
This year Xiosia came to the garden and gave her blessing to new and old followers, then handing them a token of faith; a charmflower.

In this interview I speak with a number of people who describe how they felt when the goddess did or did not touch their lives.  


Interview #1

bloodedIrishman: "Hello there Ms. Mcroleplaynazison, do you have a moment?"

Ms.Mcroleplaynazison: "Hmhm"

bloodedIrishman: "Can you tell how the event of Xiosimass was this year?"

Ms.Mcroleplaynazison: "I can't even begin. It just verifies my theory on how the development team is trying to murder roleplay."

bloodedIrishman raises an eyebrow "And can you clarify how the Xiosimass event verifies this theory?"

Ms.Mcroleplaynazison: "They were maxing everyone skills, but it's ridiculous that Xiosia would even come at that time and randomly train people. When it gets down to is that they maxed everyone's skills because they want to restrict roleplay and pave the way for a powerleveling game."

bloodedIrishman: "Really, go on, go on"

Ms.Mcroleplaynazison: "I dont even know why I play this game, there are so many better roleplay games out there, this one isn't worth my time. I mean, I only stay to flame the forums and give people shit, you know because Xiosimass is an example of how Planeshift has degraded."

bloodedIrishman nods sympathetically "You're not crazy at all, are you sure you took your pills?"

Exactly one year later

bloodedIrishman: "Looks like she is still around, but in the form of a Forum Troll Flamer Lurker, watch out!"


bloodedIrishman tiptoes away.

 

Interview #2

bloodedIrishman: "Hello there, Mr. McPLerson, do you have a moment for an interview?"

Mr.McPLerson: "ive got ulbers to farm, what?"

bloodedIrishman: "About Xiosimass? What are your feelings about it this year?"

Mr.McPLerson: "maxed axe it was nice because it was on my list of everything else to max now ive got less space"

bloodedIrishman "I see. What about the part about it affecting your character?"

Mr.McPLerson looks confused.

bloodedIrishman: "You know, the roleplay part of it?"

Mr.McPLerson: "i don roleplay thats pointless i need to train"

bloodedIrishman: "This is a roleplaying game."

Mr.McPLerson: "roflmao whatever bro"

Exactly one year later

bloodedIrishman: "Hello again Mr.McPLerson, how was Xiosimass this year?"

Mr.McPLerson: "i walked in i saw she gave flowers so i was like im outta here cos whats the point you know"

bloodedIrishman: "Not even to meet a god? Or to renew your faith?"

Mr.McPLerson: "Lawl its just a dermorian female with a cap on wtf does it matter and faith, you mean sunday mass when I play my PSP while my parents pray? theyre stupid"

bloodedIrishman: "Ah...yes, well thankyou for the interview, it was...fruitful?"

 


Interview #3

bloodedIrishman: "Mr. Mchypocrit, how did you feel when the Goddess came to Hydlaa?"

Mr.Mchypocrit: "There was this flash and this girl was in the plaza and she took everyones wishes and stuff and i went up there and I had just started playing so Iihad 73 endurance and it took four minutes to get there but when i did i asked for maxed sword and now i can fight anyone i want and stuff its super cool im so psyched i can beat guys that have been playing for years and im soooo happy"

bloodedIrishman: "And what are your thoughts on the complaints by players that missed the event, saying it was unfair?"

Mr.Mchypocrit: "Lawl thats stupid because its christmas and its the season to give and why are they crying about it makes no sense to me i think that they need to get a hanky and blow their noses"

Exactly one year later

bloodedIrishman: "It's nice to see you again Mr. Mchypocrit, I see you attended Xiosimass this year"

Mr.Mchypocrit: "Yeah what a waste of my frikkin time man"

bloodedIrishman: "What happened there? And why do you say that?"

Mr. Mchypocrit: "Dude i went there and i bowed my head for her and everythin but all I got was a flower i never even believed in xiosia and ive never read any books or done any quests for her so im sticking my neck out and its totally dumb rofl what am i supposed to do with this flower its stupid"

bloodedIrishman: "I thought this time was the season of giving?"

Mr.Mchypocrit: "Dont be a smartass and quote my words this is lame"

bloodedIrishman: "In any case, what-"

Mr.Mchypocrit: "Sorry guy ive got to get to ojaveda for some intelligence training and imma need to /die super quick"

bloodedIrishman: "Well said, well said Mr.Mchypocrit, my preconceptions about you were spot on, spot on"

Mr.Mchypocrit kills himself and runs through the Death Realm for his intelligence training.

Interview #4

bloodedIrishman: "Volund, do you have a moment to spare?"

Volund: "Yeah, make it quick"

bloodedIrishman: "How did you feel about Xiosimass this year?"

Volund: "I've always had this dream, ever since I was a young lad, I've wanted to bed a goddess. Tonight that dream was stalled."

bloodedIrishman: "What happened?"

Volund: "Xiosia was gorgeous, shes pretty fine Irishman, I have to say. And she was asking these questions that set me up for great jokes. So I'm thinking of what I want to say to get a date, but she caught wind of my desires."

bloodedIrishman: "....You...wanted to ask Xiosia the goddess out...on a date?"

Volund: "That's what I said"

bloodedIrishman: "Doesn't it seem improbable she would say yes, and smite you for the disrespect?"

Volund: "You have to know how to woo a lady, especially a goddess. All they want is someone to listen to them."

bloodedIrishman: "Right...let's continue. What happened when it was your turn to profess your faith?"

Volund: "I went up there, and she asked me "Why do you think I have come here?", and I said "Because you heard how -good- I am". She knew, Irishman, she knew, she knew how good I was, all the deities have seen me in action."

bloodedIrishman: "I think I've heard enough, good luck with your...dream."


Thanks for reading!  

This piece was brought to you by bloodedIrishman & co.

[Earowo]

ok im stupid, whats the point of this?

[thob]

Looking at the date of your registration.. you cant understand it.

It is just fun.

Read about Xiosiaxmas (although we are not allowed to use this word).

[bloodedIrishman]

It was very funny chatting with people who had similar responses.

[bloodedIrishman]

Volund tried to hit on Xiosia. Didn't work. 

[Earowo]

*woonders how far he woulda got if it worked..*
im guessin it last two days

[bloodedIrishman]

Xiosia's flower turned into a ring.

Volund assumes that means she yearns for him. Marriage is a possibility. Do I hear wedding bells? 

[Syenna]

That was great, Irishman.

Much better than my character's anticlimactic conversation with the goddess. xD

[bloodedIrishman]

I believe we disappointed the goddess. We literally got the cheapest and crappiest gift from a god ever. "Ring of Xiosia" gives 3+ endurance. What a gip. That equates into a vegas wedding with Volund. As long as their is the honeymoon, he isn't overwhelmed with sadness. 

[Syenna]

I wasn't even expecting the ring - just thought I'd have a fancy flower. XD

[bloodedIrishman]

Volund is STILL waiting on that groffel call from Xiosia. It will happen.




Anytime now.















Anytime.

[Syenna]

Sure it will.

Xiosia's just trying not to look too eager.

[bloodedIrishman]

Sure it will.

Xiosia's just trying not to look too eager.

Yeah that's right. She's playing hard to get.

Women.

[Earowo]

some girls like playing that, but from what i can tell, when they seem to be "playing hard to get" they are tryin to test if you actually CARE about them.

[Syenna]

*Cough* And some guys just can't read the "EWW GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CREEPER!!!!!!" signals.


Just sayin'.

>_>;