Lollo- you're not stupid... windows is not very intuitive
In case you didn't solve it- between 3 players, help from folks in the IRC, the forums, a Guild mate and GM help, here's what just worked for me. I have windows vista. This is only my particular case, but I am posting it in case it might help someone else.
1) First I had to uninstall then reinstall the client to get the updater to function
2) Then I had to find the server.xml file which in my case was hidden in Program Files (x86)/Planeshift/data(19)/server
3) then I right clicked on the server file, and went to the bottom menu Properties, then Security, then changed all the permissions for EACH user including Computer /user:Administrator and /user, to full permission to modify- check all the boxes, and save
4) then I could open the server.xml file and replace it with the new numbered location for Zeroping (I forget the numbers, sorry), and save it.
5) then I ran the updater on the first program screen and the check integrity
6) the YEAH! the client loaded, I had to put in my email and password manually again, and then I was back in game!
Thank you to everyone- a whole team- who helped me get back. You guys rock.
Roled