Author Topic: The Song of Ice on Fire  (Read 4424 times)

LigH

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Re: The Song of Ice on Fire
« Reply #15 on: July 30, 2010, 09:57:57 pm »
Illysia, Geoni: You make me afraid ... am I good enough for your demands, Geoni and Illysia? You make me feel so much non-elite now... ;)

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Illysia

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Re: The Song of Ice on Fire
« Reply #16 on: July 30, 2010, 10:09:14 pm »
Thank you LigH you have just summarized the problem... everybody is so afraid of any criticism, like the world ends because of it. I shutter to think how easily people would have fallen apart in the past considering the critique was much harsher then. Shame though as anybody that creates but never gets criticism will suffer in their art. Criticism is not a problem, it's criticism just for the sake of tearing someone down or to make them feel bad that is the problem... But no worries, my time of trying to help people is past. I give up, do what you all want. I'm not apart of the flow of things anymore.

And as a side note, tempted to solve your problems with your sword... *shakes her head* I am disappointed...

LigH

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Re: The Song of Ice on Fire
« Reply #17 on: July 30, 2010, 10:38:19 pm »
No no, you really misunderstood...

It was not my point to tear someone down. It was just an expression that I don't really understand the problem from my point of view: I see so much roleplaying all around, I hardly can take part in them all. And I don't mind it being simple, I don't mind it being planned and appointed ... he, I am just happy that there is any.

Also I don't care much about if my style of roleplaying is good or bad, simple or complicated ... as long as I can be a valuable part of something.

And especially please don't take my reply as final reason to disappear... Really, why do you think I am still playing? - For my friends who stay. But less and less stay with me, more and more keep leaving for reasons I don't understand. You make me staying for Lolitra alone if you are leaving too.

I am sorry that I am no native english speaker.

I am sorry that I don't like reading lengthy explanations.

I prefer to meet friends. And that's just the part which gets harder each day: Everyone finds another reason to leave. Staying with friends seems to have such a low value.

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Rhumdor

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Re: The Song of Ice on Fire
« Reply #18 on: July 31, 2010, 12:29:43 am »
Everyone should expect criticism and they should expect criticism on their criticism.  However, constructive and helpful criticism is the only way a benefit will come from it and the next roleplay will be better, and the next, and so on.

I like the way this is set up, summarized and executed so far.  Not ignoring the NPCs is always nice to see, and the distraction is pretty believable that an item could be stolen from Kada's and they could possibly get past the guards without being noticed.  Using Alts is perfectly fine as the population of Hydlaa is not just the 15-20 players that happen to be in the city, but hundreds of citizens going about their business along with the NPCs that should be treated as alive.  You just have to use your imagination and try to keep a realistic view of how a city like Hydlaa would look and feel like.

The title can always be worked on and usually authors come up with that last anyway.  I had no idea about any prior references, but it I'm thinking it is a play on how Hangatyr is usually cool and collected and now someone has just ticked him off.  Not sure where the Song part comes in, but maybe it will come into play down the road.  If not, then when it is all said and done, maybe another title will come around.

Nice job, Sashia.  Good luck with the progress of it.

Phage

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Re: The Song of Ice on Fire
« Reply #19 on: July 31, 2010, 12:33:14 am »
Illysia, Geoni: You make me afraid ... am I good enough for your demands, Geoni and Illysia? You make me feel so much non-elite now... ;)
Sorry to jump that offtopic train, but are you serious now to target Illysia for that elitism nonsense? LigH, one should be allowed to assume you are really long enough with PS now to know that Illysia is anything but unable to debate things on a level beyond black and white. Especially her two last posts, not even long time ago things like that did not even have to be spoken out, it was an obvious thing of common consciousness.
You, LigH, as one considered to be an oldbie, should have learned over time and not have forgotten standards but willed to transport advancements to newcomers instead of completely stalling - what a disappointment. Will it be you now to show newbies exciting and intruiging roleplays? Your (apparent) way at least you can cope with the statements of the next generation: "Hey, I just used /me in an RP, am I great now or what?!".
Over there, lurking from safe distance.

novacadian

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Re: The Song of Ice on Fire
« Reply #20 on: July 31, 2010, 01:05:33 am »
And as a side note, tempted to solve your problems with your sword... *shakes her head* I am disappointed...

That makes two of us, Illysia.

Your heart seems to be in the right place yet your sanctimonious comments/threads/posts are starting to make my skin crawl.

- Nova

 




Geoni

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Re: The Song of Ice on Fire
« Reply #21 on: July 31, 2010, 01:25:54 am »
I don't really want to be seen as an elitist, but it isn't right to be called one when you just care about a game and where it is heading. It was the same for Illysia and she gets called sanctimonious? Well your skin can crawl right off. Nova: you just made a personal attack, I could do the same but I have realized over doing the same thing that there is a thing called respecting somebodies thread.  I tried my best to point out a few things and give a little criticism about plotted and initiated RP because I was confused about what was meant as "cast" and look what happened to this thread.

Everybody that isn't adding on to the story of the RP, giving constructive criticism, feedback on the RP, or perhaps screenshots and whatnot: Shut up and bring your flame-war to the threads that you have already battled on. Heck, I made a thread dedicated to that very thing but never got used? Why? Because this forum either needs to reform their etiquette, or the moderation needs to be stronger. I made the mistake of bringing complaints into the wrong place and I am going to stop here. We can fight on general discussion and the complaint department if need be, but that won't change anything.  


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LigH

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Re: The Song of Ice on Fire
« Reply #22 on: July 31, 2010, 07:00:53 am »
@ Phage: Usual mistake of taking sarcasm serious. I must have used too few smilies... I just exaggerated the thought: "If the best keep leaving, so what are those who stay? Am I a bad roleplayer just because I still play PlaneShift and did not leave yet?" - I don't think so. I just played with it.

As long as I have friends to play with, I won't leave. Therefore I'll try to make new friends every day I play.
« Last Edit: July 31, 2010, 07:05:13 am by LigH »

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sashia_mennar

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Re: The Song of Ice on Fire
« Reply #23 on: July 31, 2010, 03:01:42 pm »
Scene 1, part II. Hydlaa, Kada-El
(played Jul 13, 2010, said location)

Eelin examines the woman carefully, making sure the bleeding is controlled.

Hangatyr says: Eelin do you take care of her, whilst me will go downstairs?
Eelin says: Of course
Eelin says: Thank you, Hangatyr
Perlan says: anyone saw what happened?
Leras says: afraid not, i came here just now.
Zarre looks past Eurac "Greetings Perlan. What brings you here this evening?"

Kirna lies on the bed, morbidly pale and hardly breathing at all. Her legs and the hem of her scarse dress are covered with blood.

Hangatyr nods and turns leaving the room
Leras ponders


Perlan says: i look for the one responsible, Zarre, lady
Leras says: though i did see one of them cat-men run down the stairs when i were goin here

Eelin stretches out Kirna's leg under his hands

Zarre says: Aha... responsible for the blood I saw on the lady?
Perlan nods: "aye"
Hangatyr looks around searching "Where .. is .. my .. axe?"
Zarre looks around a bit on the nervous side. "Was it an attempted murder?"
Hangatyr shouts: "Damm who took my axe?"

Eelin pulls some cloth bandages from his sack, carefully wrapping the girl's wound.

Hangatyr shouts: "I don't care about an attempted murder, I care about my axe .. so who took it?"

Kirna opens her eyes, sees Eelin's face above her, trembles, closes her eyes again.

Hangatyr says: Eurac did you see anyone taking it?

Eelin ties off the bandages, noticing her start to come to. He places a hand over hers "Relax now, Missy. You'll be alright"

Perlan says: Hangatyr, a lady is hurt here, can you think of nothing but an axe?
Hangatyr opens his mouth "Perlan ... "
Hangatyr says: Lady Zarre how about you? Did you noticed any?
Zarre turns toward Hangatyr "I only caught some movement out of the corner of my eye... so sorry."
Perlan says: Hangatyr, who cares, have one of my axes

Eelin comforts the Nolthrir girl, his hands rubbing her arm "Are you awake, Missy?"

Kirna whispers: the ... man ...

Kirna starts trembling

Chessire says: Hello Sacho...
Sacho looks over at Chessire with a warm smile. "Good evening."
Chessire says: Give me a second i think i heard Eelin's voice

Eelin says: You saw the man who did this to you?

Kirna is very pale because of the loss of blood
Kirna opens her eyes
Kirna sees Eelin
Eelin casts a crystal energy infusion towards the Nolthrir
Kirna gasps

Eelin smiles "That should help. Feeling any better?"
Kirna says: my ... leg
Eelin says: Yes, you were stabbed

Kirna cries

Kirna says: I don't want to Die!
Eelin says: I wrapped it for you
Chessire says: Eelin...
Kirna says: I want to become a Mage!
Eelin looks curiously "You're not going to die, Missy"

Kirna trembles

Eelin turns "Oh, Hi Chessire"
Eelin says: This young woman was stabbed in the leg.

Kirna whispers: that ... that awful ... Man

Perlan says: who did this?
Chessire says: Good grief...

Kirna says: he ... he promised

Eelin says: Is everything alright, Chessire?

Kirna says: he said ... he would ... give me Tria!

Chessire says: Yes everything fine...
Eelin looks back to Kirna "Who promised?"

Perlan says: i shall feast on his dried corpse, who did this?

Kirna says: that ... that man ...

Kirna tries to shake her head, but is too weak to do that yet

Eelin nods to Perlan "I don't know yet"

Kirna says: he was ... he wore ... a cloak
Kirna squeaks: he said I will get my Tria! If I scream!

Eelin says: Tria?
Eelin pauses a heartbeat "What race was he? Could you tell?"
Perlan says: he shall die, once i meet him, hehe

Kirna says: ...tall ... cloak ...

Chessire says: He asked you to scream?
Eelin says: He hired you to scream?
Kirna cannot see Chessire, so she simply answers the question: Yes!
Chessire sighs
Kirna closes her eyes for a moment, then opens them again: a full bag of Tria! for my training ...
Chessire says: What are they up to again?
Kirna says: he ...
Kirna says: he said he would ... scratch ... my leg
Kirna says: but ...
Eelin says: The man who hired you to scream is the man that stabbed you with the dagger?

Kirna starts crying again, tears rolling down her pale face

Chessire says: Don't worry, this doesn't look too serious... it's just a wound on the leg.

Chessire caresses softly the child's hair

Perlan says: that is just panzy words, lady, scratching your legs
Eelin says: Did you see anyone, Perlan?

Kirna relaxes somewhat under Chessire's tender touch

Perlan says: you're talking to someone who er, gets rid of people
Kirna says: I ... I don't want to ... I never died ... before.

Eelin nods
Sacho lighty knocks on the doorframe.

Perlan says: i need a description, i'll make your problem go away, so to say
Chessire says: Ah Sacho! Just the man we need... Come in!

Kirna says: I ... I thought it was a ... joke

Eelin says: Can you provide a description of the man, Missy?

Kirna says: his face ...
Kirna says: i had no chance to ... see it
Kirna says: i only wanted ... my Tria!

Hangatyr says: Eelin may I have your word
Eelin turns to Hangatyr "Of course, friend"
Hangatyr says: someone took my axe, Icy-Fire, as we were outside helping the lass

Perlan whispers: i need a description, no one needs to know

Kirna is still very pale

Chessire says: This girl has a wound on the leg Sacho...
Sacho quietly enters. "So I have overheard, Chessire." He looks over at the child.

Jesalor is drunk

Perlan says: lady

Eelin says: Your most magnificent work... is gone?
Eelin says: "Are you sure?" he quizzes Hangatyr.
Hangatyr nods full of pain and growls "Yes .. "

Jesalor says: you know *hiccup* i have a really nice house

Chessire says: We are quite too many in here... Why don't we let Sacho see her wound and talk outside?
Eelin nods

Jesalor says: *hiccup* and i should be proud

Perlan looks Kirna directly into the eye: "i can make your troubles go away" whispers Perlan

Eelin says: Good idea, Chessire

Kirna closes her eyes and says nothing more. The child seems to be asleep. Her breathing is still very shallow, but stable.
Jesalor pukes on the ground
Shiam stands in the doorway, knocking the wall


Hangatyr looks at Kirna "Lass we'll have a talk for sure, that's a promise"
Hangatyr says: But please what was that about the dagger you said?
Eelin says: The dagger? I have it here"

Eelin pulls the dagger from his sack and shows it to Hangatyr

Chessire says: Hello sir Shiam
Shiam says: Hi Chessire

Jesalor ducks his head in a bucket of water

Jesalor says: much better

Shiam says: is Hangatyr in there with you?
Perlan whispers: "say it is business or nay, but i will do this one for free"

Jesalor says: hello

Eelin sets the dagger on the table

Hangatyr looks at the dagger "hmm old and rusty .. but what's marked there at the grip?"
Eelin says: The letter "S"
Eelin says: And a blue crystal, and a bamboo leaf
Eelin says: Looks rather unique

Sacho walks over to the bed and checks the bandages. He then removes a small bottle from his haversack and holds it in his hand.

Perlan whispers: "lady, i will help you for free, just give me a description"

Chessire says: It certainly seems to be enchanted
Hangatyr nods "Aye it is, but me never came along such a branding, ne"

Jesalor says: its a tavern party

Sulaika gazes at the people around, "Any description of who did that to the girl? Or do they need any other help?"
Eelin says: Well, it might be able to lead us to the thug who did this
Perlan says: i need a description miss, i can only help in ways of justice, not of healing

Sacho pours a bit of the liquid on the bandages covering Kirna's leg.

Hangatyr nods again "aye and I'll make sure that the guards become aware of it, ne"
Eelin says: Nobody saw anyone take your axe, Hangatyr?

Jesalor says: there is death in that room

Shiam coughs

Chessire says: It's a simple injury... who is that Klyros?
Shiam says: i saw something, i was a bit groggy, so not sure what, but it sure stole your axe Hangatyr
Hangatyr says: no, none of those who had been there

Jesalor says: Dakkru is in this realm tonight

Sacho looks over at Perlan. "If you can only help with 'justice'. Then leave and give her some time to heal."

Jesalor says: and death is on the air

Perlan says: sire, i deal in justice
Perlan says: i let other ones deal in healing, we can't all be healers, right?

Hangatyr says: did you noticed anything Shiam .. please tell me, anything might help and lead us

Chessire pushes Jesalor outside "Do us a favor and go say hi to Dakkru!"

Shiam says: Aye, i sure saw something, not sure what, but it was a shadowy figure, speedy, i know it was a young lad, no'one else could have those reflexes

Sacho looks back at the young child and checks her vitals.

Shiam says: He simply ran into the bar, took the axe, and ran out, he kinda.. whispered something, but i couldnt hear what.. darn ale
Hangatyr says: did you noticed his race?
Shiam says: i wasnt really paying attention to that, i had an headache of all the sounds, and i was a bit tipsy of the ale
Hangatyr says: "Aww .. damm"
Eelin holds the dagger and studies it closely "Wait a minute! This looks quite like the daggers Sashia made for Teshia!"

Sacho then casts a small spell on the child's leg as he finishes.

Eelin says: Yes, there was an "S" on each of them.
Eelin grabs the dagger and stuffs it in his sack "Perhaps we should let this young woman sleep"

Eelin motions to the door
>Eelin Everheart greets Sulaika Letaza.

Perlan says: sires, i am sure you take care of the lady

>Sulaika Letaza greets Eelin Everheart.
>Perlan Cernun makes a bow.


Hangatyr says: lets go down, too crowded in here

Sacho turns and begins trying to herd the group out of the room. "Come on lets give her some place."

Chessire says: I will stay for a bit if you don't mind... i have to speak with Sacho...

Eelin says: Sir Hangatyr
Hangatyr says: Yes Councillor?
Eelin says: We must go see Sashia. I recognize the dagger as one similar to the ones she gave Teshia as a wedding gift.
Hangatyr says: hmm .. please do so and I'll set up a head-hunters fee meanwhile

Perlan says: i must depart, i have company waiting
Perlan says: sire

>Perlan Cernun makes a bow.

Esorono says: Thought I heard voices here.
Sacho nods. "Where would you like to speak, Chessire?"
Esorono says: What happened?

Chessire looks over the asleep girl
Kirna sighs in her sleep, but doesn't wake up


Chessire says: Lets talk just outside so you can be close to her... when there'll be less crowd
Perlan says: m'lady

Sulaika calls her rivnak

Chessire picks up her mug and takes a good sip

Eelin nods "Alright Hangatyr. Perhaps this same man has taken your axe"
Eelin says: I'll go find her
Perlan says: we shall move

>Eelin Everheart makes a bow to Hangatyr.

Hangatyr says: it seems to me, yes

Sacho smiles at Chessire's glance. "I believe she will be alright."
Chessire says: If you say so...

Chessire brings her voice down to a whisper and leans to Sacho

Shiam says: Hangatyr
Sacho is very surprised. "That is not good."
Hangatyr says: Aye?

Chessire says: Not only this... after that Zalya appeared too...

Chessire lowers her voice again

Shiam says: i.. i need to talk to you about something
Hangatyr says: speak up brodr
Shiam says: you've got to know me and all now so... i guess it's time you get to know a bit about me other side

Hangatyr looks questioning

Shiam says: you see... I'm cursed

Chessire says: Would you believe that sick joke?
Sacho sighs. "Well, in that case you are probably going to need this." He hands her a double bottle.

Sacho whispers.
Chessire grins and takes the bottle.

Hangatyr still looks questioning "Yes?"
Shiam says: i was born under a dark spell, most of the things i do daily, i can control, but many things... i can't, especially magic... everything i try to cast... ends up dead... or worse
Hangatyr says: "Ohh .."
Shiam says: so, i'd just wanted you to know, if you stick around me, you'll likely get in trouble...

Kada-El returns slowly to its normal life, filled to the brim with this special kind of everyday madness which is so characteristic for any big town, especially Hydlaa.
The Azure sun is already dim.

No one still expects the unexpected.



to be continued... ;)
Lotsa love, everyone!

sashia_mennar

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Re: The Song of Ice on Fire
« Reply #24 on: August 24, 2010, 06:48:02 pm »
...several days later...

The Yarrow Note Game is now open!

Feel free to apply, it can make you famous, heh heh! :)
Lotsa love, everyone!

Sangwa

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Re: The Song of Ice on Fire
« Reply #25 on: August 24, 2010, 07:08:00 pm »
I'd propose presenting the stories in narrative form. It's tidier and usually more summarized. Leave the logs as reference, for people who want to look deeper into the story.

Besides that, it's always good to see player-oriented roleplays, despite their quality. in fact, it's good to see any type of oriented roleplay... But unfortunately PS team is too busy for that and so we much sate each others' hungers.

The name's not too good. Or we might start seeing Lord of the Things and Magic the Blabbering if this practise gets in fashion.
« Last Edit: August 24, 2010, 07:09:57 pm by Sangwa »
Disclaimer: This is my opinion and I can be reasoned with. I'm probably right, though.

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sashia_mennar

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Re: The Song of Ice on Fire
« Reply #26 on: August 24, 2010, 07:32:38 pm »
2Sangwa: Well, it seems we're on a constructive disagreement here. Narratives (or summaries) are usually not that helpful to those new to RP, because they don't actually show how do things happen ingame. And even for somewhat advanced RP noobs like me, summaries still look very much like the creative work of one person (the one proceeding the logs), not as communicative effort of everyone who took part.

So sorry, I'll keep trying to take after Auctioning Victims, not the Bloodline. Mostly ;)

And the Yarrow Note game isn't a fulfilled event, it's a real RP game to be played by anyone who would like to join. So... sorry again, no logs so far *wink*

The name stays. You just wait, heh heh :)

Lots of love!
Lotsa love, everyone!

Sangwa

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Re: The Song of Ice on Fire
« Reply #27 on: August 24, 2010, 07:41:26 pm »
You're right. Narrations are creative.

I disagree with you on a point though: logs teach new players as much as in-game interaction does. And I told you to keep the logs there as references, not to make them vanish.

The thing is: not everyone is able to read logs. In fact, most people get bored or demotivated from it. However if they see a summary, they might feel interested in clicking on the  "See How This Came To Be!" link.

Your "game" doesn't look much different than good, healthy roleplay plot. Roleplay Games usually have those type of plots where some definite actions are able to being played out (an example is finding out where something came from). It looks better when you don't make it look like a game though. :P

EDIT: Changed the writing so it gets more comprehensible. Sashia got it anyway, but not everyone's that clever.
« Last Edit: August 25, 2010, 01:42:49 am by Sangwa »
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sashia_mennar

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Re: The Song of Ice on Fire
« Reply #28 on: August 24, 2010, 09:05:00 pm »
Thanks a lot Sangwa, I guess I see your point now and I'll try to add some sort of summary later, for easier reading.

About games and plots: plots don't usually have winners, right? Well, in that game we're hoping to get one! Or two. Or three... we'll see  :P
Lotsa love, everyone!

Sangwa

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Re: The Song of Ice on Fire
« Reply #29 on: August 25, 2010, 01:39:21 am »
Yup, roleplay plots don't usually have winners. But they usually have some adventurer who ends up doing something important and often (not forcefully, though) gets rewarded.

When I said it's better not to see your plot as a game I was being close minded. The OOC presentation is hardly relevant, what matters is the experience the players will have going through it. And I bet they'll have fun with yours.

Thanks for the work, thanks for listening and sorry for my previous post's writing. I was in a hurry :P
Disclaimer: This is my opinion and I can be reasoned with. I'm probably right, though.

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