I think a lot of people do diminish their PS experience by having flawless characters. This isn't to say that they don't enjoy PS at all, just that they could enjoy it more. People read books and get excited when the main character does unbelievable feats but, they often forget that the only reason they ended up caring about the character is often because of his flaws and his conflicts. Then there are those seeming omnipotent characters in books, but how often are they the main character? And when they are, is the book any good? (Generally, no).
First, define "flawless". A character could look handsome and still have sociopathic tendencies. Or just be plain evil person. Or just caring about his looks. Therefore, the description by itself is a bad indicator of flawless characters. You can spot godmodders and similar people head-on, but not the two-dimensional, cardboard characters.
Also, Watchmen.
So, I was thinking that the PS community should help the PS community. How? By critiquing each others player descriptions. This could be from the actual ingame description or just from somebody describing their own character here.
There's a list of what the description on Zeroping can and cannot include, but I cannot find it now. However,
this might be a bit older, but still valid.
I think your proposal is a nice way to shorten the average description length which may or may not contain too much information on one's character. Also, I have seen a lot of different styles when it comes to descriptions: too long, too short, too much detail and not enough detail. My main character's description is just abou 237 words long, and that's already a litte much I believe.
So, how does this work? For now I think we'll try to keep it simple and in this thread. I'll post a description. Whoever critiques it should quote it and then comment on it. After which they have to post their own description. You can critique as many as you want. You don't have to do the person above you, but we should try to make sure everybody's gets a comment or two.
Do you really think people do that, looking at the thread header?
And nothing too mean!
... You don't have any experience with in-depth critique, have you? I've seen good critiques and a lot of bad ones, some of them in feuilletons. There's a difference between constructive criticism - I've seen that mostly between people that write themselves and have at least some sort of respect for each other. And then there is the other kind of critique, one may call it scorcher. It might be a fun read when done by someone who's literate, well-educated and can write well, but sometimes it's just as worse as what is being criticised.
That being said, there's also a difference between taking critique and giving it. Developing some kind of thick fur helps quite a lot - if you only let people criticize your work of whom you know that they like you so much that they won't give you a bad critique, then your skill or the quality of whatever you're trying to do will remain on the same level and even worsen.
Let's try this, shall we?
Khado Sarodac: A slightly tall and very lean enkidukai who wears what could only be called rags. A leather mask covers the upper left half of his face, including his left eye, but what can be seen is well kept. Traces of battle are all over his body, with large scars across his belly and chest, revealed by the tattered state of his clothing. His cold, blue eyes constantly dart about, checking around corners wherever he goes. The scars and rags make this mid twenties man seem much older than he is.
Despite his sorry state, he does seem to walk with a sense of confidence, born of arrogance well tested. Though cold to complete strangers, he's quick to grin to friends. He's armed with naught but a simple Long sword and short sword.
I play him as a mentally talented individual with a weakness for women and a great amount of paranoia. A large hate for magic and absolutely no talent in the subject.
General notes: Wordy due to quite a lot of adjectives and adverbs, could be shortened. Expressions unclear and not to the point. Long sentences. Information cluttered all over the place. What about something like this:
This enkidukai in his mid-twenties looks older than he is. He is slightly taller than the average, very lean and has cold, blue eyes. He wears rags and a leather mask which covers the upper left half of his face, including his left eye. Despite this, he looks well-kept.
On first glance one could notice large scars across his belly and chest.
Despite his sorry state, he does seem to walk with a sense of confidence, constantly observing his environment with quick glances. He has a sheated longsword and shortsword on his belt.
All other information should be obtained by roleplay. Descriptions only show a player what he would see if his character looks at someone else. One could even take a more puritan stance and add "one a quick glance".
And please keep on topic, everyone. We could always wander off-topic one or two pages later.
