English... as some people speak it!

[gonger]

Hi all!
I got these from a teacher of English as a Foreign Language. Not thinking about anyone specific, of course. Even native speakers mix some of these, as you can witness in emails, news groups, and PlaneShift. Just read and laugh! And please excuse the f*cking language!

1. they're   - they f*cking are
2. their     - shows f*cking possession
3. there     - specifies a f*cking location
4. you're    - you f*cking are
5. your      - shows f*cking possession
6. it's      - it f*cking is
7. its       - shows f*cking possession
8. we're     - we f*cking are
9. were      - past f*cking tense of "are"
10. where    - specifies a f*cking location
11. loose    - not f*cking fixed in place
12. lose     - cease to f*cking keep
13. affect   - a f*cking action
14. effect   - a f*cking result
15. could've - could f*cking have
16. could of - you're (see 4) a f*cking retard

[derula]

12. lose     - cease to f*cking keep
16. could of - you're (see 4) a f*cking retard

Bahaha, love these... "cease to keep" just sounds so hilarious, and I never understood why anyone would write "could of" and think that makes any sense.

[MishkaL1138]

Could've, phonetically, sounds like "could'f" which they render as could of. Grammar. Pretty simple stuff.

Also, if you write could of and claim it to be correct, you deserve to have your eyes gouged out and your fingers broken with their tendons severed.

[LigH]

Well, regarding 16 ... if you listen to "Adele — Rolling In The Deep" (You could {of|have} had it all ...), you may understand that some people, even with lyrical intentions, actually speak it just as wrong. A prominent example to Mishka's explanation.

[dadela]

I have no time to explain stuff! Read stuff by yourself!
Stuff: Common Errors in English Usage

[MishkaL1138]

There, I fixed it for you, dadela