Author Topic: My PlaneShift Story  (Read 1129 times)

c0deX

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My PlaneShift Story
« on: July 20, 2003, 01:45:27 am »
Evil...so much evil, spreading through the lands of Yliakum yet nothing we can do....

There was once a time when the lands were a peaceful place, where the people would dance through the streets, collecting there water from the underground streams and lakes, celebrating with not a worry in the world upon them.  

At least...until the day Laanx betrade us all.  

No one quite knows what happened, but the skies cried with thunder for days.

Then one day, an Enkidukai traveler came upon us all, spreading horrid rumors of the god Laanx, he had told us that her eyes grew red as the rubys she once loved, as her beautiful hair turned grey with the running black streaks of evil upon her as it ran through her blood and veins.  

No one beleived him at first, until the day she bestowed her new form upon us all, destroying our city, taking whatever she felt as her own, forcing us all to flee from our beautiful land.  

Most of the people ended up in Hydlaa, while others were lost in the move, or went there seperate ways before Laanx could hypnotize them into being her personal slaves of darkness.  

Now we live our lives each new day after another, praying somthing will happen...

But now is the time, the time where we all stand and unite into one race, forgetting the slander and problems we have upon eachother, and stand as one power, one force, to stop this dreaded darkness and claim whats rightfully ours, I now claim this not the land of Hydlaa but PLANESHIFT!

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Maybe its a little corny, but tell me what you think.  


« Last Edit: July 20, 2003, 01:49:32 am by c0deX »

Jedi

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« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2003, 04:57:06 am »
Sounds like it could be a promising prologue. As it is it lacks story meat to be a standalone.

Wolfmane

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« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2003, 11:54:58 pm »
Well youve got the makings of something good there. Maybe you need to expand about who \"we\" and \"the people\" are. I.e. races, history (you mention \"... the slander and problems we have upon each other ...\"  presumably feuds and fights between races?) Also desribe the society and its structure before the cataclysm with Laanx, are they trying to re-build it as it was or to reform it into a new structure of society?

It seems some of your ideas might fit in well with the Bloodlines Guild who aims at uniting all 12 races in Yliakum into a guild to work for inter-race peace, harmony and coexistence. Check it out at http://bloodlines.indiahigh.com/forum/. The creator is Kathmor (search for him under forum members or read under the Guilds Forum)
 
Wolfmane aka Illyria the White, AO Council member.

A lie can get half-way around the world,
Before the truth get\'s it\'s pants on ...

Winston Churchill