Author Topic: The Great Strength  (Read 1388 times)

Kuiper7986

  • Veteran
  • *
  • Posts: 1031
    • View Profile
The Great Strength
« on: August 08, 2003, 05:51:45 am »
Note: All names and places are fictional and are no way endorsed or approved to be in the game. It\'s just a story for this forum. Except for Hyldaa City, Talad, and maybe other names that you already know from the forums will be in this story. Those are real names, again everything else is fictional.


-Chapter 1: The Sending-  

     It\'s a tale of a young human boy with two human parents in poverty who has been destined by Talad to save Yliakum, over time he will go through nothing but hardship, pain, and suffering.

       And so the story begins in the afternoon in small farm just outside of Hydlaa City...

\"Donovan, get over here you little good for nothing son!\"

\"Sorry Father, I was fixing the fence because it was damaged and I...\"

\"Don\'t you talk back to me, or I\"ll give you a beating, and I won\'t feed you for a day.\"

\"Yes father, It\'s not in my place to talk back.\"

\"You little twelve year old twerp, go inside and go get your supper, your mother is done cooking.\"

  Donovan went inside his house crying because his Father had just scolded him badly. As he got inside his mother charged at him and started yelling at him.

\"Donovan, your supper is cold, it takes me hours to make supper and you just let it sit here, like it\'s going to move by itself and go to you.\"

\"But Mother I was...\"

\"Donovan, go back up to your room, no supper for you tonight!\"

  Donovan went up to his room as he went in his room he shut the door and lyed in his bed and started crying. As he was lying down in his bed he could hear that his Father just walked in and started talking to his mother. He could here them talking about how they hated Donovan and they wanted to give him up for adoption so they can get the money. Then out of nowhere Donovan saw a small white shining circle and it got larger and larger. Donovan started peering into it, he just looked at it, as he looked at it he felt calm and soothed, then he heard a soft voice not normal to his Mother and Father.

\"Donovan, you suffer great pain, yet you hold the gift that I have given no one.\"

Donovan was puzzled then he replyed with no state of knowing what was going on,\"Who are you?\"

\"I am Talad the mighty creator of all that you see, hear, taste, smell, and touch, I am the beginning and the end, I am first and last.\"

Donovan was still confused, he didn\'t know who this Talad was. Talad could see Donovan\'s confusion because of his awe look and silence so Talad said, \"Ugh, your so young but I have no choice I must take you now.\"

\"Umm Talad sir, I still don\'t know what your talking.\"

\"Donovan, listen you must have faith in me and you must do what I tell you.\"

Donovan was scared because he knew something was happening but he heard his parents coming up and he quickly said to Talad, \"Oh no! My Parents are coming!\"

Talad said as fast as he could, \"Donovan, tonight when your parents are asleep you must run away from home and meet me in the center fountain in the city.\"

Donovan replied, \"okay.\" But at the moment he said okay, Talad disappeared and his parents got in and they yelled at him.

\"Donovan! You pteosaurus crap, what the hell are you doing?\"
\"Donovan your father is speaking! What were you doing in here, speak!\"

  Donovan still didn\'t reply, so his mother took a little clay sculpture that he had made that was on a small wooden table next to his bed and crashed it on his head. Donovan started crying while blood was sweating from his head. His parents were laughing and they walked out of his room.

  A few hours had passed by, now it was nighttime, and Donovan\'s bleeding finally stopped after he managed to put some cloth on his head but he still felt very dizzy. But he had faith in Talad, he didn\'t know what is was but he felt a great deal of trust in him.

  So Donovan walked out of his room slowly tip toeing in the dark. He tried to imagine what his house looks like so he could get around in the dark. He made it up to the front door, but then he accidentally knocked over a pan since he was still dizzy. He started to panic and starting hearing himself in his head saying,\"Oh noooo! Talad if your there for me, help me!\" but nothing happened. He then saw a candle lit and saw his parents on the other side of the room, walking slowly up to him with a knife.

\"Donovan, hehe I\'m going to rip your guts out.\"
\"Good Darling, it would be nice to have our son\'s guts for supper tomorrow.\" They both had an evil smirk on their face.

  Donovan started moaning in fear and he started pounding on the door to get out. With all his might he pounded down the door and he started running outside.

  When he got outside he saw two white pteosauruses flying in the dark mightnight air coming towards the farm house each of them had a man on top of them. Each man had a full set of shiny white armour and a longsword that shined brightly of whiteness. Together the 2 pteosauruses and two men in white armour looked like shooting twinkles in the midnight darkness of the cavern. They both flew to the ground and landed their Pteosauruses vertically.

Donovan looked up at the two tall men and noticed one of them had a golden A on their chest plate and the other had a V on his chest plate but still he couldn\'t  see their eyes because of their full face helmets. One of the men spoke to Donovan in a rush.

\"Donovan, quickly we must leave, your two parents are not really your parents. They\'re demons from an unknown evil presence that has started to plague this city and soon it will plague other lands.\" Donovan replied in a state of fear, \"o..oka..okay.\"

One of the men replied with confidence, \"Donovan do not be afraid please, we are here to help.\"

  So they all gathered up and were ready to leave but Donovan pointed at two figures coming from the farmhouse.

All of a sudden Donovan cried, \"Oh no! It\'s my parent\'s they\'re coming to get me.\"

  One of the knights put his hand (palm open) in the direction Donovan\'s parent\'s were coming and yelled, \"By the power given to me from Talad I curse thee demons into an eternal blaze in never ending pain and suffering. Donovan\'s demon parent\'s yelled out to the two men and Donovan, they screamed out,\"Curse you follower\'s of Talad, ahahahaha.\"

  He then saw a bright white beam come out of the man\'s hand. It was over, Donovan\'s evil parent\'s vanquished into thin air. Right away Donovan being so little and curious, asked the two men who they were.

  The first knight went up to Donovan and took off his helmet and said, \"Hello Donovan, I must not give my name to anyone for only Talad knows it, but if you do call upon me for help, call me Vendero.

  The other knight also took off his helmet right away as Vendero had just finished his response, the other man spoke, \"Hello Donovan I must not give my name to anyone for only Talad knows it, but if you do call upon me for help, call me Acrani.\"

  Donovan smiled upon both of them and said, \"Hey are we leaving?\" Both Venderoand Acrani smiled at him.
And so they left on their pteosauruses. Donovan smiled happily for the first time as he knew he was free and so they reached Hyldaa City\'s Center Fountain, both Vendero and Acrani removed the cloth that was on Donovan\'s head that he had use earlier to try and bandage himself, healed his head wound, dropped him off, waved at him good bye, and both of them rode away in the sky night.

  Donovan waits and thinks, \"What had just happened? How come this all happened so fast? Will I be okay? Who will take care of me?\" So Donovan now waits at the center fountain in Hydlaa City anxiously for Talad to talk to him again...




« Last Edit: August 09, 2003, 08:35:30 pm by Kuiper7986 »
My name is NOT pronounced, \"Kway-per,\" it\'s pronounced \"Kye-per.\"

Kuiper7986

  • Veteran
  • *
  • Posts: 1031
    • View Profile
Chapter 2: Struggle for Knowledge
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2003, 12:33:54 am »
Donovan had just been through so much and just when he thought he had a few moments to catch a breather he sees the small white circle again, getting bigger and bigger. Then he hears the voice of Talad.

    And so the story continues in the dark night in the Hydlaa City Center Fountain...

\"Donovan, hello again...\"

Donovan replies with relief, \"Whew I\'m fine Talad sir but you can tell me what happened? Why am I here? Why all of a sudden has this happened to me?\"

Donovan noticed something happening to the white circle from that Talad had that was in front of him, it started to take shape into a big creature. Donovan looked at it and started to panic because he didn\'t know what was going on. When Talad was done transforming, he became a big stone creature.

Donovan was hiding behind one of the pillars on the fountain and squatted silently peeking at the huge rock person and said with fear, \"T...t...tal...ad...i...is...th...that..y..you?\"

\"Donovan tis I Talad, I take this form as because I hold no true form. I live in spirit and in the hearts of people, I give them joy, courage, strength, and honor.\" Then Talad quietly sighed to himself, \"Young one, you still have so much to learn.\"

Then Donovan replied with a bit more confidence, \"Talad sir? Why do you take this form?\"

\"Donovan I hold this form because these are the beings I created. I care about them, to show honor to them I take this form, besides I like looking strong.\" Donovan came out from behind the pillar and set next to Talad giving a light laugh.

\"I don\'t get it Talad, there are other beings out there?\"

\"Of course Donovan, you don\'t know this because your parents have always kept you in the farmhouse.\"

\"You mean there\'s a new world to explore?\" Donovan started smiling very strongly with excitment.

\"Of course! There\'s a world that\'s waiting to be explored by you.\"

\"Wow! Is this why you have called me?\"

\"I\'m sorry you will get to explore but your too young right now and the journey I\'m sending you on will take a few years.\"

\"A journey?\"

\"Don\'t worry Donovan in time you will learn what you need to know but right now we need to get you out of here.\"

\"Okay.\"

  Talad then took Donovan\'s hand and started morphing into a Pteosaur and told Donovan to get on. Donovan got and and they rode away in the night.

  After hours of flying they finally landed on top of a really high moutain. On the top of the mountain they  saw a little shack and there was a light coming through the window. Talad in his Pteosaurus form said to Donovan, \"Donovan I must leave now, the person in there will train you until you are ready.\"

\"Ready? I don\'t understand Talad, ready for wh-.\"

  Almost instantly Talad disappeared. So Donovan walked up to the shack and as he turned around he saw a beautiful sky. It was orange and red because the crystals energy started to flow again to start the day. Donovan knocked on the door and a stone man like the one Talad had turned into came out. This stone creature was also wearing white armour, just like Vengeance and Acraig as he remembered, except this one had a B on it. Donovan said softly not knowing what was going to happed, \"Hello...\"

\"Ahh it is you, I\'ve been waiting for you Donovan, I must not give my name to anyone for only Talad knows it, but you may address me as Berseth.\"

\"Hi Berseth sir...\"

\"Welcome come inside, Donovan you will sleep tonight, I will explain everything to you after you regain your energy because tomorrow you will begin your training and your life from this point on will never be the same again.\"
« Last Edit: August 09, 2003, 08:37:20 pm by Kuiper7986 »
My name is NOT pronounced, \"Kway-per,\" it\'s pronounced \"Kye-per.\"

Kuiper7986

  • Veteran
  • *
  • Posts: 1031
    • View Profile
Chapter 3: Trials of Obedience
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2003, 07:53:43 pm »
Donovan had just gotten into Berseth\'s house in the early morning but Breseth decided to wait later to train Donovan and so the story continues...

  Donovan was deep asleep on the couch in the living room in Berseth House, after all he did go through a traumatic experience. A few hours passed by and Berseth bent over to see Donovan sleeping and then he woke Donovan up.

\"Hey Donovan wake up, its time for you to eat.\"

\"Eat?\"

\"Yes eat, you need your strength.\"

  So Donovan slowly got out of the couch and started walking to Berseth\'s Dinner Table and said, \"So what\'re we going to eat?\"

\"Were going to have vegetable stew and bread, except me, I don\'t eat regualr food.\"

\"Mmmm, sounds good.\"

\"Well it better be good, I\'m going to train you and make you strong.\"

  So Donovan already being hungry just found another reason to eat. So he started eating the stew and bread like an animal, he was just so hungry.

\"Donovan, take it easy, there\'s still some more over in the pot, don\'t make yourself sick.\"

\"Sorry Berseth sir, it\'s just that my parents used to not give me meals so there were a lot of times I have never eaten, even yesterday they didn\'t give me supper.\"

\"Well your eating now and hurry up, were going to start training.\"

\"Berseth sir, you keep mentioning training, what exactly will I be training about?\"

\"Just hurry up and eat and meet me outside in the backyard.\"

  Before Berseth went outside to get ready for the training of Donovan, he went into his room and got 2 pieces of cloathing and one ring. He got a white tunic that had long black sleeves, then he got a green scarf, then lastly he took a silver ring with Talad\'s symbol engraved.

The Uniform looked like this...


  Then Donovan put on the uniform Berseth gave to him then he went outside in the backyard and when he did, he could see the beautiful landscape that was down below him. It was a beautiful view from the top of that mountain. So Donovan said to Berseth, \"This view is amazing, I can see why you\'d like to live up here on this mountain.\"

\"Actually I like it here because its peaceful and quiet. Well anyways time for your first lesson. Do you know who rules all this land?\"

\"Ummm Talad?\"

\"Yes that is right, his energy is flowing through everyone everyday. If your at peace you can feel his energy flowing through you, giving you life. But most people don\'t feel this energy, they aren\'t in peace, they are engulfed by greed and sexual desires.\"

\"I understand, they are hidden from Talad\'s power because other thoughts clutter their mind.\"

\"That\'s another way of putting it. Until you can do anything with a peaceful mind, you won\'t be ready for your journey. You know Donovan believe it or not, it is possible to fight feeling calm and at ease. Ugh uhh forgive me for going off topic, I\'ll just go on to the next subject.\"

\"Okay.\"

\"Donovan, look at me, what do I look like?\"

\"You look like a big stone man.\"

\"Yes I look like a big stone man, do you know why I look like a big stone man?\"

\"Umm because you have special powers?\"

\"Well you got the special powers thing right but that\'s not it. It\'s because there are different types of beings that live here.\"

\"Beings?\"

\"Yes, Beings are like different types of people, they look very different from you and I. There are different people out there that look totally different from you.\"

  With great excitement Donovan said, \"There are? Tell me, tell me!\" Donovan was naturally fascinated by this.

  \"Calm down Donovan I\'ll explain every type of beings there are in this land. First there are the humans, which you are. There are two kinds of Humans are good at everything they do at, but the weakness humans have is there very strong belief that they must follow their feelings, they can be the most greedy people around. Secondly are the Elves, there are two kinds of elves which look noticeably different but they are a strong race they look different from humans, their ears are pointy and they don\'t look as strong but don\'t be fooled they believe strongly in their ancestry and knowledge of the ancient ways. Thirdly are the dwarves, there are two types of dwarves both are very very short beings but they are very strong, don\'t let their shortness fool you. Do you get it so far Donovan?\"

\"Yes sir, I find this very fascinating\"

\"Ah well good, I\'ll continue. Next are the beings known as the Lemurs, they were the first beings to ever be on this land, they may not appear to be strong but they\'re very smart and intellectual, do not underestimate them because of their appearance. Next are the Kran, they\'re are the big stone creatures.\"

\"Ohh so that\'s what you are a Kran!\"

\"That\'s right, we Kran are very resistant to Magic and we have brute strength, were made entirely of rock. We don\'t use magic as much but our strength will make up for it. Next are the Diaboli, not as much is known of their race because they aren\'t native to this land they seem to seem very suspicious, use caution and keep your guard up when you meet one, one day. Next are the Enkidukai, they\'re easily known as the cat race. They appear to have fur all over them and look quite different from other beings. Just because they\'re different doesn\'t make them weak, they\'re very fast and agile, they live in packs so becareful not to be surrounded a pack as because they\'ll be able to take you down quite easily in large numbers. Next are the Klyros they\'re a type of human but they resemble a lizard or a dragon, most of them are rich merchants so being a friend to one might be beneficial but they won\'t hold up in a fight as well, they don\'t wear any heavy armour so they could get hurt easily but nevertheless they still can fight. Next are the Ynnwn, they\'re a sturdy race of beings. They look like a crossbreed of a Diaboli and an elf. Also they have a weird blood type, so they won\'t use gold money or platinum money because it\'ll burn their skin. If you meet one becareful not to harm him nonetheless they\'re alwaysin top mental and physical shape.\"

\"I understand everything.\"

\"Don\'t worry Donovan I have a small book that has all the pictures and descriptions of the different races that can be found in this land that I\'ll give you later, and oh I\'m sorry Donovan this land is known as Yliakum, got it?\"

\"Got it.\"

  And for the next few months, Donovan learned a lot of interesting facts about Yliakum and the way everything works. Donovan spent the nights just thinking of all the stuff he has learned. Donovan has never felt this happy in his life. He learned everything from the different plants in Yliakum to the different monsters in Yliakum. And finally one day during the night while Donovan was taking a rest when Berseth said to him, \"Donovan I taught you all you needed to know on how to survive and get around in Yliakum on your own. There is one last thing I must teach you and this will take a few months.\"

\"What is it?\" Replied Donovan.

\"Donovan tomorrow, you\'ll learn to fight.\"

  Donovan opened up his eyes in suprise...
« Last Edit: August 09, 2003, 08:40:16 pm by Kuiper7986 »
My name is NOT pronounced, \"Kway-per,\" it\'s pronounced \"Kye-per.\"

Kuiper7986

  • Veteran
  • *
  • Posts: 1031
    • View Profile
Chapter 4: First Fight
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2003, 03:41:45 am »
It was a bright day and it was really hot during the daytime and as Berseth looked at Donovan, he was ready to give Donovan his first lesson in fighting.

  And so the story rides on...

\"Donovan your a twelve year old kid don\'t get too excited alright?\"

\"Yes sir, I\'m ready.\"

  Berseth took a few steps to a small table that was outside and he took two iron shortswords from the table and turned around.

\"Donovan do you know what these are?\"

\"Yes sir, these are swords.\"

\"Yes they are, do you know how to use one?\"

\"No sir.\"

\"Well its about time you learned.\"
 
  Berseth then tossed one sword to Donovan. Donovan caught the sword and started swinging it around to get the feeling of the sword. Berseth then told Donovan in strong voice, \"Donovan there are a lot of different ways of fighting are there are a lot of weapons to choose from, but no weapon is more graceful than the sword, for the next few weeks you will do nothing but training with that sword.\"

  For the next few months, Donovan was taught how to use a sword by Berseth. Day after day Berseth trained Donovan rigorously everyday. In the mornings he\'d do daily excercises, in the afternoon he\'d practice with his sword with Berseth, and in the evenings they would be in the house studying the different techniques of using a sword. By the end of the few weeks Donovan could use a sword pretty well and could start fighting on his own.

   After a few weeks passed by, Donovan was a given a test by Berseth. Donovan\'s test was to defeat a monster of Berseth\'s choice.

  That evening when the crystals energy started to settle down, beautiful colors in the sky started to form; red, orange, and yellow were the colors that were there.

\"Donovan are you ready?\"

\"Yes sir.\"

\"Good.\"

  When Donovan was ready in form, Berseth released the monster. The monster was an exact copy of his parent\'s but in the demon form that they had when Donovan escaped from his farmhouse.
 
  Donovan started loosing grip on his sword then he became scared. He closed his eyes and remembered what Berseth said to him a months ago when he first started his training. He remembered to keep his mind at peace and concentrate on what he was doing, he knew this time he really needed the natural energy of Talad that flowed through his spirit and mind. He then opened his eyes slowly, then retightened his grip on his iron shortsword. He then ran foward and charge at his demon parents.
 
   Donovan\'s demon parents put their hands out and sharp claws came out of their fingers. They started fighting. Donovan was concentrating on his offensive attacks, his demon parent\'s were blocking his blows with their super strong and powerful claws. Donovan\'s was able to strike his Demon father, then his Demon father fell to the ground and disintegrated into rubbish. His mother then attacked him and managed to puncture his left arm. Donovan grabbed his left arm and started trying to fight with only one arm. She then punched him in the face luckily with the knuckles and not the claws. Donovan flew backwards and fell on the ground, started trying to get up, and get his guard back, then his mother kicked him in the stomach while he was trying to get up. He then rolled at the edge of the mountain cliff. He saw his mother coming slowly licking Donovan\'s blood off her claws. She then came running to attack Donovan, right when she was about to kick him again off the cliff, he took his sword and stabbed her in the stomach and use his two legs and flipped her demon body over the cliff, and she yelled with the most horrid sound. He then heard a loud boom, and when he went to look over the cliff he saw her body disintegrate into rubbish.

  Berseth then started clapping and happily said, \"Good work Donovan, there\'s very little I can teach you now. By defeating a replica of your demon parent\'s you overcame your past fears and now your ready to go out on your own

Donovan was sweating and breathing very hard but managed to speak, \"Thank you sir...\" Then he started breathing hardly again trying to exaggerate his tiredness to Berseth.

\"Oh come on Donovan, your not really that tired...\"

\"Oh yes sir, I am.\"

\"Hehe Kid your ready to go out on your own.\"

 Donovan got up and started walking with Berseth to go inside the house. He then got his left arm healed and fell asleep on the sofa for the rest of that night. The next morning...

\"Hey Donovan your leaving today!\"

\"Going where?\"

\"Talad and I planned a few weeks ago that you should join the Federation of Yliakum. I didn\'t mean to tell you this but war has begun and they need every able fighter right now to help fight.\"

\"What is the Federation of Yliakum?

\"The Federation of Yliakum was pact just made a few weeks ago that had all races on Yliakum band together and fight.\"

\"...And War? With who?\"

\"War with Minari Vidante.\"

\"Whose he?\"

\"Yliakum Defense Alliance sent an Enkidukai spy to investigate a man named Minari Vidante because they had recieved information he\'s trying to create his own army to infest Yliakum, that was the evil plague Talad was talking.\" Donovan then remembered that Vendero told him that an evil plague was starting to plague Yliakum.\"

  Donovan said bravely, \"Then I must go at once to serve Talad and fight for Yliakum.\"

\"Very Well, you will leave in a few hours get your things packed and well go to the Yliakum Federation main headquarters.\"

  While Donovan remembered the time when he was escaping from his house and now he was joining the Federation of Yliakum. He was nervous but ready. Then Berseth yelled out, \"Donovan you ready?\"

\"Yeah, I\'m ready, lets go.\"

  They both left the house and started walking the mountain pass and Berseth said to him, \"Sorry no Pteosaur.\" Donovan replied with ease, \"It\'s okay I could use the long walk, to give me time to think.\"

So Donovan and Berseth walked down the mountain pass that morning and Donovan felt a sense pride that he was joining the Federation of Yliakum, he was thinking a lot of what was going to happen, after all this is the first war he\'ll be fighting, and he knew after this, there was for sure no turning back...
« Last Edit: November 09, 2003, 07:14:29 pm by Kuiper7986 »
My name is NOT pronounced, \"Kway-per,\" it\'s pronounced \"Kye-per.\"

Kuiper7986

  • Veteran
  • *
  • Posts: 1031
    • View Profile
Chapter 5: Pre-War Times
« Reply #4 on: August 12, 2003, 07:52:01 am »
Donovan and Berseth had just finished walking down the mountain and walked quite a distance to where the Federation of Yliakum Headquarters was. Now Donovan and Berseth are in front of the main entrance of the Federation of Yliakum Building...

?Donovan from here on I?ll have to leave you, it?s your destiny to do this on your own, this is the beginning of a long journey that Talad has set for you.?

?I understand Berseth, and thanks for being there for me.?

  Berseth didn?t say anything he just snapped his fingers and he disappeared.


  Donovan went inside the base. When he got inside he was amazed by what he saw. He saw people training with weapons he never saw before. He heard the sound of people yelling trying to prove themselves worthy of fighting and he heard the sounds of metal clashing together. It was unlike anything he?s ever seen or heard before. Then he saw a building that said Federation of Yliakum Headquarters. So he decided that?s where he had to go. So he went inside he saw a sign that had the word recruiter, so he went inside and saw a red man with an awkward build. Then he remembered people with mostly red skin are known as Ynnwns. He went up to the Ynnwns desk and started to talk to the recruiter.

?Hello Sir, I?ve come to join the Federation of Yliakum.?

?What? How old are you kid??

?I?m thirteen sir.?

?Thirteen and you want to join? You have to be kidding me.?

?I kid you not sir, I want to serve for Talad and my land. I want to help put an end to this war and help stop Minari Vidante?s forves from taking over Yliakum.?

?Well kid I know I shouldn?t do this, I?ll never forgive myself either but, we do need men, so I?m going to put you in the Unit 1 Emergency Fighters Reserve, you guys will be one of the reserve fighters incase our main attack force is down. Your Group isn?t very large so men will be stretched thin, to cover the large area.?

?Don?t worry sir, I have trained with a sword before sir.?

?Heh kid, it?s going to take a little more than a sword to fight a war.?

  ?Umm Recruiter sir, sorry for asking but I didn?t catch your name??

?The name?s Onwando Helia.?

  So Recruiter Helia, got all the information he needed so Donovan could be deployed. So he took Donovan to the resting quarters. Luckily there was a few quarters that were free because so many soldiers were being stationed here, most from Hyldaa City which is only a few miles away. So Donovan went inside his room and took a rest there and Onwando left. When Onwando returned to his recruiting office an Enkidukai Spy was in his room already and told him, ?Sir! I have valuable information to be given to you sir.?

?Thank you, you may report to high command.?

?Yes sir!.?

  What Donovan didn?t know that Onwanda was also in charge of Spy Operations. So Onwando took the letter that the Enkidukai spy gave him and it reads?

       -Minari Vidante attack force imminent; Will arrive and its attack force is eight days away before they reach our location.

    [Counter Attack is imminent; defenses will need to be setup.]

    [ Our Alliance with non-affiliated guilds have sent reinforcements to hold this position out of goodwill. Draklar Lashaar of the Defender?s Guild has sent 100 of his most elite men, Knico Borealis of the Rainbow Guild  has sent 350 of his Archers, and Zaphar of the Sunfire guild has sent 30 of his rare Aerial Units. All of them still need time to arrive. So expect a few days before they arrive.]

  As Onwando finished reading the letter he knew the war was now beginning, there was no stopping now...

« Last Edit: November 09, 2003, 07:16:38 pm by Kuiper7986 »
My name is NOT pronounced, \"Kway-per,\" it\'s pronounced \"Kye-per.\"

Kuiper7986

  • Veteran
  • *
  • Posts: 1031
    • View Profile
Chapter 6: The Great War
« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2003, 06:36:53 am »
Chapter 6: The Great War


   It has been exactly thirteen days since Donovan arrived at the Federation of Yliakum Main Base. During those thirteen days, he recieve just enough basic training so he can try keep himself when the real battle comes. One dayDonovan was lying down in his room thinking of what hardships and troubles he might have to overcome in the next few months, then all of a sudden Onwando came rushing in..

\"Donovan wake up, they\'re invading!\"

\"Already?\"

\"Yes! Come on get your gear and get to your battle position.\"

\"Yes sir!\"

\"Good, I\'ll meet you when its over kid, remember stay sharp, never let your guard down.\"

  Then Onwando left the room in a hurry then Donovan also quickly started putting on his light iron armour and started putting on his gear.

Donovan\'s Gear
[img]Chapter 6: The Great War


  It has been exactly thirteen days since Donovan arrived at the Federation of Yliakum Main Base. During those thirteen days, he recieve just enough basic training so he can try keep himself when the real battle comes. One dayDonovan was lying down in his room thinking of what hardships and troubles he might have to overcome in the next few months, then all of a sudden Onwando came rushing in..

\"Donovan wake up, they\'re invading!\"

\"Already?\"

\"Yes! Come on get your gear and get to your battle position.\"

\"Yes sir!\"

\"Good, I\'ll meet you when its over kid, remember stay sharp, never let your guard down.\"

  Then Onwando left the room in a hurry then Donovan also quickly started putting on his light iron armour and started putting on his gear.


    At that exact moment he started remembering what Berseth said, \"Only when you are at peace and have your head clear of thoughts, only then can you feel the natural energy of Talad flow through you.\" Donovan then realized he almost dozed off so he hurried to the center of the Base to where the Emergency Resevere Fighters were. When he got there he saw people of all different kinds of races. He saw all of them in different kinds of armours and weapons. Then he saw a human on top of a small podium in front of everyone. He heard the man speaking loudly saying, \"This is it people anytime now, Minari Vidante has sent his forces to attack us and it is our job to help any of our positions hold the area so we can...

  A small sound could be heard by everyone. It sounded like a small wind whip, then human that was on the podium has an arrow pierce through the back of his head and came out the front. Then arrows started flying everywhere, you could hear the impact of the arrows on the soldiers.

  \"Ugh, ahhh, haugah.\" Were the sounds of people as they got hit by arrows. Immediately Donovan started to take cover. He looked around as he saw people falling down and some already dead. He couldn\'t do anything for now.

  Meanwhile on the front lines of the Royal Fighters Platoon, they had a mean swordfight with Minari\'s forces. There were just too many of them. the Royal Fighters were outnumbered 6 to 1. They tried to hold their line but were forced back.

  Back inside the Main Headquarters, Onwando recieved a message that the last of the reinforcements had arrived. Onwando was a bit relieved but he tried too hard to gain the offensive.

  Inside the base, the Healing Squads were trying their best to heal the wounded or to try and save as many people that were dying. But there were just too many casualties, also many were killed by arrows flying through the air. The anti magic mages tried to counter as many spells as they could from Minari\'s Wizards and Warlocks but they couldn\'t hold for long as they too were to small in number to counter all the magic spells.

  In the air were Zaphars aerial units. All of the mages that were riding on the Pteosaurs used powerful spells to try and repel Minari\'s attack force but just couldn\'t do enough damage to them and some of them were shot down by Minari Archers.

  At the rear Draklar\'s forces from the Defenders guild were on standby  ready to reinforce the line incase Minari\'s forces breakthough the perimeter and enter the main base. As for Donovan he got up and ran while arrows were flying so close to him that he could\'ve sworn he felt the tips of the arrows burn his skin right off. He was almost the main base building when he heard a loud crash. Then he got up and drew his weapon as he saw a hoard of enemy units come at him, he wasn\'t sure if he was going to survive this...
« Last Edit: November 09, 2003, 07:16:01 pm by Kuiper7986 »
My name is NOT pronounced, \"Kway-per,\" it\'s pronounced \"Kye-per.\"

Kuiper7986

  • Veteran
  • *
  • Posts: 1031
    • View Profile
(No subject)
« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2003, 07:08:36 pm »
sorry guys, that I stopped. I was so busy with school, college applications, and SATs, that I didn\'t have time to continue the story. I will start to continue the story again with Chapter 7.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2003, 07:09:27 pm by Kuiper7986 »
My name is NOT pronounced, \"Kway-per,\" it\'s pronounced \"Kye-per.\"

Xandria

  • Hydlaa Citizen
  • *
  • Posts: 453
    • View Profile
(No subject)
« Reply #7 on: November 10, 2003, 08:14:05 am »
You had to stop it right there?  8o

Anyway, it was well written.  The only thing is that to me, it sounded like the same old \"one young farmer must gain the power to destroy and entire army and save the world from utter destruction\" story.  Not that it\'s a bad thing, seeing as the story I\'m formulating has kind of the same basic plot.

However, what I think your story could use is some more details.  It just seems to PointA-to-PointB with nothing in between.  I mean having a good storyline is obviously a good thing to have, but a little bit of detail can go a long why.  For example, where did Minari Vidante come from?  Why is he trying to destory the world?

Just a few suggestions for you to think about  :)

How I set my timezone:

ln -sf /usr/share/zoneinfo/Antarctica/Davis /etc/localtime

Dexlan

  • Hydlaa Resident
  • *
  • Posts: 102
    • View Profile
Love this
« Reply #8 on: November 12, 2003, 11:18:44 am »
I like the fact that the story zip\'s along. And even if there is little detail in places i can picture every thing clearly. Good work and looking forward to the next chapter wish i had time to write a story myself!
My in game character\'s are Wolfshade and Kayto! no they wont try to join two different Guilds :rolleyes: !!!!