Author Topic: Moogie's Story  (Read 8773 times)

seperot

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« Reply #75 on: November 06, 2003, 01:01:43 am »
**looks around with a sad face**

no chapta 6 yet huh.....
« Last Edit: November 06, 2003, 01:02:01 am by seperot »

dorbian

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« Reply #76 on: November 06, 2003, 06:45:14 am »
no sep no chapter 6.

and if sifirght needs some help i can create full asp with dbase connections website\'s but i\'m not that graphicall only technicall so if you need help gimme a pm and i\'ll be glad to do so

Sifright

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« Reply #77 on: November 06, 2003, 07:22:26 am »
erm i dont think iwill need much help im not gonig to need any thing like that :P im just going to do a site like moguras but it will be more colourfull :P

Jessyn

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« Reply #78 on: November 06, 2003, 03:12:38 pm »
*bump*

/me waits patiently for chapter 6...

Jessyn
Most things in life operate, not on reality, but the perception of reality.  

Jedi

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« Reply #79 on: November 06, 2003, 10:30:44 pm »
What? My story? What\'s that? Oh, that. *trashes it* I\'m too busy reading good stories to worry about my crumby piece o\'...work.

\'T kicks, Vicky. (just returning the favour ;) ) Struck silent, I am by such mastery of the lingual art. Cease not your efforts to produce a thrilling, filling, and (from that tidbit you sent me ;) ) thouroughly chilling masterpiece. :D You\'ve got my support...not that it\'s worth anything...but...you\'ve got it anyways. 8)

lynx_lupo

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« Reply #80 on: November 10, 2003, 07:52:20 am »
Wow. Great style, Mogura! Keep up the good work! :)
"Amor sceleratus habendi"- Ovid
"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you eat them." -Godzilla

Dexlan

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enjoying your story
« Reply #81 on: November 10, 2003, 09:35:00 am »
Great reading, keep up the good work and don\'t keep us waiting too long for more!
My in game character\'s are Wolfshade and Kayto! no they wont try to join two different Guilds :rolleyes: !!!!

Moogie

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« Reply #82 on: November 16, 2003, 03:24:58 pm »
I\'m sorry this one\'s taking so long. Once again my inspiration has left me and I\'m having great difficulty finding the patience and words to continue writing. This is what I have of chapter 6 so far- unedited, unchecked, unaltered, in all it\'s poor-quality unglory. I don\'t like it. =/

6.

Draklar and his leiutenants rode with haste along the dusty, worn path. The sunlight tried in vain to penetrate the thick canopy of trees above their heads. Small rays of light delicately touched the floor in mottled patterns as the branches danced and shifted the shape of the shadows. As they sped along, alert to the eery sounds of the haunted woods around them, the Defenders chose their route with well-founded caution. This forest was older than any Yliakum inhabitant knew, and many stories and rumours of ferocious monsters attacking and eating travellers had been proven true in the past. And yet, even knowing this, they valiantly pressed on. Sometimes the path beneath their steeds\' feet would disappear completely, but Draklar did not need it to know where he was going. He had passed through this area many times before; it was within ten miles of the city of Hydlaa and the quickest route to and from that city and Freugel\'s Hill.

Even Draklar had almost been an unlucky victim to the forest-dwelling monsters here many years ago. Before he had ever joined the ranks of the army, the young Enkidukai had strayed from Hydlaa City with a few of his friends in search of fun and adventure. A few of them brought iron swords, and they practiced their untrained swordsmanship as the others laughed and cheered them on. There was also a mage who had brought along some cheap spell scrolls to use, and before long he was igniting small piles of leaves that the others had gathered for him to burn, and propelling soundburst waves towards the trees, watching the bark shatter on impact. Needless to say, Draklar and his friends were mightily impressed and applauded his magicks.

The friends played noisily in this manner with their combat skills for little more than an hour before their sharp ears picked up the sounds of steadily approaching footsteps; they were heavily, and moving fast. Infact, whatever it was, it was coming straight for them. They barely had time to start running as a mighty scaled beast crashed through the trees and roared hungrily after them. Draklar ran as fast as he could, as did the others, but the mage had grown weary from his spellcasting and could hardly keep up with the warriors\' pace. The poor feline screeched and cried in pain as a heavy pair of jaws clamped around his middle, effortlessly lifting him into the air and crunching his bones in one horrific bite. Draklar skidded to a halt and turned, his eyes diluted with shock and disbelief as the sound of his friend\'s death still vibrated madly in his ears. Lost to anger and grief, Draklar acted without thought and charged towards the creature, who had stopped persuing the others to ruthlessly thrash the Enkidukai\'s body around in the air.

Suddenly its eyes shot open and it let out a long wail of agony as Draklar\'s sharp sword buried itself deep into its exposed underside and neck, spilling gushes of blood over the crazed feline attacker below and the monster\'s own cold skin. Draklar exerted all of his strength and energy and thrust the weapon as deep into the beast as he could, before it finally toppled over and lay kicking and struggling for breath on its side, the hilt of the iron sword still sticking out of its neck. Draklar\'s friend\'s body lay a few feet away, having been dropped several moments ago when the blow had first been struck.

Draklar\'s wandering mind was suddenly brought back to the present by a peculiar sound. It was that of a flock of birds taking flight in suprise, as if spooked by something. He raised a hand to halt his guildmates as he slowed, and listened intently to the world around them. With the thundering sound of their horses\' galloping hoofs gone, they could hear the birds dispersing somewhere to the south, their caws and cries fading into the distance as they flew away from the disturbance. Draklar turned to the others with a questioning expression. They in turn returned the look, equally as puzzled.

A distant roar drained the group\'s faces of colour, especially Draklar\'s. He recognised it from that terrible encounter years ago, and this time the beast sounded twice as large. He did not hesitate.

\"Let\'s move on.\" Draklar commanded, kicking his mount to get moving again. They continued their journey back to Hydlaa City, their pace quickened to put as much distance between them and whatever was lurking in the forest to the south. However, they hadn\'t moved far before another roar reverberated almost directly infront of them.


[Edit: Additional: I don\'t think I can write any more. So many things are changing and this story hasn\'t travelled half as far as I hoped it would by now. Non of my intended story seems to be coming through and it\'s all just taking so long. I wish I could write... I really wish I could! ;( But it\'s just not working out how I hoped it would. Sorry... I guess this is where I lay down my pen.]
« Last Edit: November 16, 2003, 03:30:45 pm by Moogie »

Monketh

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« Reply #83 on: November 16, 2003, 04:28:55 pm »
Bah, good-for-nothing cliffhanger endings. *groans*
It\'s too bad it has to end like this...
« Last Edit: November 16, 2003, 04:30:10 pm by Monketh »
The key to manipulative bargaining is to ask for something twice as big as what you want, then smile and nod when you are talked down to your original wish. You are still young, my apprentice, and have much to learn in the ways of the force. -UtM

Jedi

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« Reply #84 on: November 16, 2003, 04:34:47 pm »
No. This is not a plea, but a simple request. No. This is the best story to grace this forum in a very long time. It can\'t die. There is never a story so buried in itself that the author cannot eventually implement their own planned elements. You can\'t give up. Don\'t turn your back on something so good. Your work has much promise, but not if it dies. You don\'t have to constantly write updates, but just don\'t drop it.

Don\'t quit. We\'re all counting on you. ;)
« Last Edit: November 16, 2003, 04:35:13 pm by Jedi »

KwartzTheKran

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« Reply #85 on: November 17, 2003, 03:28:15 am »
Quote
Originally posted by Mogura

[Edit: Additional: I don\'t think I can write any more. So many things are changing and this story hasn\'t travelled half as far as I hoped it would by now. Non of my intended story seems to be coming through and it\'s all just taking so long. I wish I could write... I really wish I could! ;( But it\'s just not working out how I hoped it would. Sorry... I guess this is where I lay down my pen.]


*hugs moogie* ...bein\' daft, n ur a great writer, u wunt \'av so many ppl readin it if u wern\'t. If its not following the right storyline, if all else fails just start again, or maybe put in some huge dramatic change get it back onto what u want, i dunno I along with every other person dont want u to just quit =)


-----I\'LL LEAVE YOU ALL BEHIND-----      ( *hugs Moogie* - sorry )

Sifright

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« Reply #86 on: November 17, 2003, 04:45:02 am »
mogura im da kinda person who shouldsay that look how crapy my story is for a start i wrote in first person i realized my mistake when i wanted to change the focus to another person. any ways to get to the point Dont stop writing your story i mean so what if its gone off track a bit! that makes no differnce  i find that most good storys dont just go from a to b they go from a to d trough x to b kinda thing. the story never goes along 1 path but many if you have read stephen king the dark tower series or what is writen of it so far you will know what i mean this story is awesome jsut keep writing im sure inspiration will hit you if not read some novels i m sure that will help

lynx_lupo

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« Reply #87 on: November 17, 2003, 07:31:35 am »
Take as much time as you need. We\'ll be waiting patiently.  :)
"Amor sceleratus habendi"- Ovid
"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you eat them." -Godzilla

Jessyn

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« Reply #88 on: November 18, 2003, 04:09:45 pm »
no, that\'s no good, we must have more, we must ;(   your story is absolutely wonderful, and if you insist on ending it, then pehaps a new story is in order...?

Jessyn
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Moogie

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« Reply #89 on: November 18, 2003, 05:11:50 pm »
I don\'t know... I don\'t want to just scrap this story. I had high hopes for it being one I would actually get to finish one day, but...

Well, If I\'m to be able to write any more of this I may need to go back and completely re-write some chapters, which will be boring as hell and I\'d NEVER get round to doing it. You know? I just wouldn\'t bother because re-writing stuff isn\'t fun. :(

If I leave it as it is, it\'s going to be hard to steer it through the story suddenly enough without rushing it and turning it into a fiasco. Bah! I don\'t know what to do. :( I don\'t want to start a different story. This was hard enough to get to chapter 6 without quitting. The story floats around in my head mocking me because I can\'t seem to keep hold of it while I\'m writing, and it seems to me that it\'s just going to stay there... in my head... and I\'ll never be able to put it into words. :(


[Edit: Oh, and another thing. Everything\'s changed since I started; for example, Feline\'s Lair disbanded. Draklar turned to the dark side. Although these things would have no effect in the story\'s world, it makes it hard to visualise what the characters are doing... etc.]

So many unhappy smileys in this post...