joke shareing !!!

[snow_RAveN]

While in the brig of the starship i CapitanED i found some jokes written on the wall i think it was writen in blood as it was all brown and stuff

here goes one of em

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third!
The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER\'S ASS SHOWS. The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read: PREACHER\'S ASS OUT IN FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER\'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00.

The next day the headline read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains, and let it go. Next day, the headline in the paper read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day.


so if you want to hear more post the jokes that you have

[Dalec]

Heres a stupid one to start out: What do you call a Cow that has an abortion?

Answer: Decalfinated

[Kixie]

ok what do you call a horse with no legs?

Prime rib.

/me laughs uncontrollably*

[Olig]

A skeleton walks into a bar, he orders a beer and a mop.


Heh, how far with these jokes can we go? Most the ones I know are pretty bad....

[DepthBlade]

Yah I got a few but they involve a racist word and the other a few swears if i bleep them out can i still say them? Moderators?

[Olig]

A brown racing horse named Buck was a champion at the race tracks. One day, he broke his leg and cannot race anymore. He cried. After he heard the news, he strolled down to a downtown bar to have a few drinks. After he orders his scotch, the bartender looks at him and says, \"Hey horse, why the long face?\"


[I appologize for any horses I may have offended with my racist joke.]

[Armenelos]

Ok this one is a little bad, but if raven can get away with the ass joke I should be able to get away with this one.

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he?s found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, ?It looks like you blew a seal.?

?No, no,? the penguin replies, ?it?s just ice cream.?

[Icefalcon]

Hahaha...heh...heh...ok ok that one was kinda funny...  

[snow_RAveN]

heres \'nother 1

4 old man were discussing how Rich their sons are
the 1st old man : my son is a real estate agent his so rich that he gave a friend a free house
the 2nd old man : thats nothing my son is a stock broker
his so rich he gave his friend a sports car (audi ? )
the 3 old man : my son is a business man his so rich he gave his friend a yatch
the 4th old man hesited :my son is a gay and his ex-boyfriends gave him a house a car and a yatch ....

[Moogie]

Please keep the jokes in good taste... a little less of the racism and that kinda stuff, okay?

A little less = none, please

[Isgrimnur]

An old but still extremly funny one. Swear words censored for decency\'s sake.

Three brothers walking down the street, One named F*ck, One named Sh*t and the third named Manners. F*ck pushed his brother S*it over and then ran around the corner where he ran into a Policemen.
The Policeman said \"Oi watch where you going, whats your name\"
So F*ck said \"F*ck\"
\"wheres your manners\" replied the Policeman
\"round the corner picking up Sh*t\" said F*ck

[Niber]

Hmm I don\'t really know any jokes on the english languge, but let\'s try with a translation:

There were two kind of drunk guys at a bar located at the top of a skyscraper. The first one was trying to make conversation by saying \"Damn it\'s really windy out there today man\",
so the other said \"yeah tell me about it, it\'s so windy you can fly\".
1st: \"ha, yeah right!\"
2nd: \"dude it\'s true\"
So they walked out on the balcony, 2st: \"hold my bear, check this out\" the man folded his jacket so it would catch wind, then jump right from the balcony,, flow back and forth and was really having a great time, then landed on the balcony again.
\"you try now\"
the first dude did the same thing with his jacket and jumped. the second dude walked into the bar again.
Bartender \"damn, Superman, you are so mean when you are drunk\".

       

[Yann]

3 mice are chatting in an attic.

1st one says: Hey guys, you know, yesterday, i got stuck in a mouse-trap. But i pushed the metal thingy, got me off easily, took the cheese and went away.

so the 2nd one says: Oh well.. You know those poisoned corn grain we are given... I eat 3 or 4 every morning and i feel really good with it.

Then 3rd one says:
- Sorry guys, it\'s time, i\'ve got to go\"
So they others ask him \"Where are you going ?\"
- \"I am gonna f*ck the cat\".

[lynx_lupo]

3 flies come in a restaurant.
fly1: I\'ll have some sh*t with onions.
fly2: I\'ll have some sh*t with onions too.
fly3: I\'ll have some sh*t, but without onions, so my breath won\'t stink.

[Vassago]

Two tomatoes were walking over a road, then it came a car and ran over one of the tomatoes, he said:

It\'s ok, ill Ketchup later!



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