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Roleplaying (Communitive Storywriting) / Weyit's tale
« on: March 25, 2008, 12:54:01 pm »
After playing a couple of years ago I have recently returned, and I decided to write about my new character. This is the first chapter of his(His? Hers? It's? What is a kran?) adult life. Feel free to post critisism(preferably constructive) and of course compliments. (The format's screwed because I originally wrote it in Word.)
“Simply Amazing…” exclaimed a young lemur, staring at the mud, drops of rain mixed with sweat dripping down his pointed chin. “He hasn’t stopped once, and Fayare here has had us stop thrice.” He raised his head with an expression of utter contempt to look at a fully armoured dwarf , beard tangled with mud and drenched in rainwater, who was presently bent double over his axe, wiping a mixture of brown water and brown vomit from his mouth. “Well, you try running across all of Yliakum in full plate armour!” snapped the red faced dwarf.
“Why did you wear it then?” Asked a pained, moody voice from behind a nearby boulder. “I thought we’d need protection!” replied the dwarf with an even redder face.
“Protection from what! We can’t catch this thing, and probably couldn’t even without your four inch legs accompanying us.” Replied the lemur, his face fixed in it’s original expression of contempt. “Ok, Fayare, Ramil, calm down. It’s been a hard day and we’re all stressed.” Said the voice from behind the rock, which now came from an elderly looking enkidukai. “Hey, Mantera, what were you doing over there? You were gone for about fifteen minutes.”
“Yeah, and your face is redder than his.”
“Uh… never mind it. The enemies of the black flame must be caught! Let us be off.’
“What are we going to do? Throw this midget at them?”
“I’M NOT SHORT IT’S JUST THAT MY PEOPLE DIDN’T HAVE ALL THE SPACE IN THE WORLD TO GROW INTO!”
“You two imbeciles shut it, we must catch all enemies of the black flame, no matter how difficult it may be…”
“You know, Fayare is an enemy of the black flame. We should burn him.”
“Just leave it…” With this the three of them hoisted their packs over their shoulders and set off, in an uncomfortable silence, unaware of the eyes that watched them.
“They still chase him.” Hissed a deep voice, seemingly emanating from it’s source rather than being spoken. “Indeed. Let us return to the camp, he may have recovered.”
Weyit opened its eyes to find himself in a situation much different from that where it closed them. It’s clubs were still in it’s hands, and it’s armour still barely clung to it’s skin, covered in ragged holes and dents. However, where before a horror that many never live to see stood in it’s vision before, now was a campfire, and a couple of logs next to it. It closed it’s eyes slowly and reopened them to see if he wasn’t in a dream, and now in front of it’s eyes stood two ghastly looking enkidukai clad in black leather, one with fur as white as it’s conical teeth and the other’s as black as it’s glassy eyes. “Greetings,” started the white one, “We found you…“
“On the floor, and so…“
“We decided to bring you back to our...”
“Encampment.” Weyit was expectedly taken aback by their sudden appearance and combined speech, but gathered it’s very limited wits enough to say: “Good.”
A long pause followed. On more than occasion Weyit thought about breaking the silence, but he could not think of anything to say other than “Good.” Eventually the dark enkidukai spoke, “Well, those that chased you…
“Still pursue you.”
“But… If I am not there, what are they chasing?” Another silence followed, as Weyit’s dumb logic had actually caught them by surprise. “Hm…”
“No idea. Let’s hope…”
“It kills them.”
Over the next few days Weyit was nursed back to health, and told it’s tale of the black flame’s tyranny back at it’s home village. The enkidukai listened, and they plotted, for they knew of the ‘tyranny of the black flame’ very well.
“I blame Fayare for everything!” Yelled a very distressed Ramil.
“It’s not my fault it led us to an ulbernaut!” Yelled back Fayare, face redder than ever.
“Calm down you two. At least you weren’t on the receiving end of that foot.” Snapped Mantera, rubbing his ribcage vigorously. They were ambling back the way they had gone, faces down, morale crushed. They had failed. After a while they arrived at a tavern to the side of the path. Mantera looked around, “I don’t remember this being here…”
“And now we’re lost. I knew we should’ve just left Fayare in that puddle. We’d be back at home with that things head on display.” Growled Ramil, bitterly.
“It wasn’t a puddle! It was up to my chest! Anyway, who cares if we’re lost. It’s a tavern, let’s go and get a drink.” Fayare marched into the tavern, followed by Ramil, grumbling to himself, “Up to his chest, he says. That is a puddle.” Mantera, however, loitered outside for awhile, wondering how they had become lost. “Apparently…”
“This is one more win for…”
“Dakkru, against…”
“The plague of the Black Flame.”
Mantera wheeled round, drawing his scratched blades, searching for the sources of the voices which seemed to come from every direction. Weyit grinned. The hunters were now the prey. The two enkidukais (who had no names) had helped it find the black flame which caused all the trouble in it’s life so far, and now it’s search for retribution was over. It finally had the chance to destroy the one who had plagued him since his childhood, Mantera, who lead the black flame cult in his home town. It took the chance gladly, springing from the hills with a might roar, swinging it’s clubs viciously about it as if it were chased by a swarm of locusts. It caught Mantera from behind, and hey both knew that he had no chance from the beginning. Mantera then spun around recklessly, striking at Weyit with no regard for his own safety. His black dagger broke as it scraped across Weyit’s side, chiselling a gash as deep as it was long. Simultaneously, both of Weyit’s clubs connected with Mantera’s bruised ribs, sending him flying to the ground. The fight was over. The ground shook with hatred as Weyit slowly stepped towards the old warrior’s limp body, and the light began dimming as the day reached it’s end. Weyit stood before Mantera for a long time, before he raised both clubs with a triumphant air, a feral snarl on it’s face as swung both clubs inwards with such a force that the most deafening ‘crack!’ was heard echoing for many seconds after in the hills, which then lay silent as the night which fell on them. Mantera’s skull had completely smashed, spraying blood and bone fragment up the wall in a line that reached Weyit’s head in height. Both clubs had also shattered, leaving a mash of gore, wood and metal in the mud. Weyit roared heroically, but was ushered away by the two enkidukais who could hear the confusion inside the tavern walls. “I thank you.” Said Weyit, picking it’s words carefully to express it’s deepest emotions. “Very much.” It’s deepest emotions weren’t very deep.
“I will remember you forever. Now I will go back home.”
“Oh no, You…”
“Don’t. You belong to Dakkru now. We will give you..”
“Her instructions and you will serve faithfully…”
“Like us.”
“Whether you would like to…”
“Or not.”
“Simply Amazing…” exclaimed a young lemur, staring at the mud, drops of rain mixed with sweat dripping down his pointed chin. “He hasn’t stopped once, and Fayare here has had us stop thrice.” He raised his head with an expression of utter contempt to look at a fully armoured dwarf , beard tangled with mud and drenched in rainwater, who was presently bent double over his axe, wiping a mixture of brown water and brown vomit from his mouth. “Well, you try running across all of Yliakum in full plate armour!” snapped the red faced dwarf.
“Why did you wear it then?” Asked a pained, moody voice from behind a nearby boulder. “I thought we’d need protection!” replied the dwarf with an even redder face.
“Protection from what! We can’t catch this thing, and probably couldn’t even without your four inch legs accompanying us.” Replied the lemur, his face fixed in it’s original expression of contempt. “Ok, Fayare, Ramil, calm down. It’s been a hard day and we’re all stressed.” Said the voice from behind the rock, which now came from an elderly looking enkidukai. “Hey, Mantera, what were you doing over there? You were gone for about fifteen minutes.”
“Yeah, and your face is redder than his.”
“Uh… never mind it. The enemies of the black flame must be caught! Let us be off.’
“What are we going to do? Throw this midget at them?”
“I’M NOT SHORT IT’S JUST THAT MY PEOPLE DIDN’T HAVE ALL THE SPACE IN THE WORLD TO GROW INTO!”
“You two imbeciles shut it, we must catch all enemies of the black flame, no matter how difficult it may be…”
“You know, Fayare is an enemy of the black flame. We should burn him.”
“Just leave it…” With this the three of them hoisted their packs over their shoulders and set off, in an uncomfortable silence, unaware of the eyes that watched them.
“They still chase him.” Hissed a deep voice, seemingly emanating from it’s source rather than being spoken. “Indeed. Let us return to the camp, he may have recovered.”
Weyit opened its eyes to find himself in a situation much different from that where it closed them. It’s clubs were still in it’s hands, and it’s armour still barely clung to it’s skin, covered in ragged holes and dents. However, where before a horror that many never live to see stood in it’s vision before, now was a campfire, and a couple of logs next to it. It closed it’s eyes slowly and reopened them to see if he wasn’t in a dream, and now in front of it’s eyes stood two ghastly looking enkidukai clad in black leather, one with fur as white as it’s conical teeth and the other’s as black as it’s glassy eyes. “Greetings,” started the white one, “We found you…“
“On the floor, and so…“
“We decided to bring you back to our...”
“Encampment.” Weyit was expectedly taken aback by their sudden appearance and combined speech, but gathered it’s very limited wits enough to say: “Good.”
A long pause followed. On more than occasion Weyit thought about breaking the silence, but he could not think of anything to say other than “Good.” Eventually the dark enkidukai spoke, “Well, those that chased you…
“Still pursue you.”
“But… If I am not there, what are they chasing?” Another silence followed, as Weyit’s dumb logic had actually caught them by surprise. “Hm…”
“No idea. Let’s hope…”
“It kills them.”
Over the next few days Weyit was nursed back to health, and told it’s tale of the black flame’s tyranny back at it’s home village. The enkidukai listened, and they plotted, for they knew of the ‘tyranny of the black flame’ very well.
“I blame Fayare for everything!” Yelled a very distressed Ramil.
“It’s not my fault it led us to an ulbernaut!” Yelled back Fayare, face redder than ever.
“Calm down you two. At least you weren’t on the receiving end of that foot.” Snapped Mantera, rubbing his ribcage vigorously. They were ambling back the way they had gone, faces down, morale crushed. They had failed. After a while they arrived at a tavern to the side of the path. Mantera looked around, “I don’t remember this being here…”
“And now we’re lost. I knew we should’ve just left Fayare in that puddle. We’d be back at home with that things head on display.” Growled Ramil, bitterly.
“It wasn’t a puddle! It was up to my chest! Anyway, who cares if we’re lost. It’s a tavern, let’s go and get a drink.” Fayare marched into the tavern, followed by Ramil, grumbling to himself, “Up to his chest, he says. That is a puddle.” Mantera, however, loitered outside for awhile, wondering how they had become lost. “Apparently…”
“This is one more win for…”
“Dakkru, against…”
“The plague of the Black Flame.”
Mantera wheeled round, drawing his scratched blades, searching for the sources of the voices which seemed to come from every direction. Weyit grinned. The hunters were now the prey. The two enkidukais (who had no names) had helped it find the black flame which caused all the trouble in it’s life so far, and now it’s search for retribution was over. It finally had the chance to destroy the one who had plagued him since his childhood, Mantera, who lead the black flame cult in his home town. It took the chance gladly, springing from the hills with a might roar, swinging it’s clubs viciously about it as if it were chased by a swarm of locusts. It caught Mantera from behind, and hey both knew that he had no chance from the beginning. Mantera then spun around recklessly, striking at Weyit with no regard for his own safety. His black dagger broke as it scraped across Weyit’s side, chiselling a gash as deep as it was long. Simultaneously, both of Weyit’s clubs connected with Mantera’s bruised ribs, sending him flying to the ground. The fight was over. The ground shook with hatred as Weyit slowly stepped towards the old warrior’s limp body, and the light began dimming as the day reached it’s end. Weyit stood before Mantera for a long time, before he raised both clubs with a triumphant air, a feral snarl on it’s face as swung both clubs inwards with such a force that the most deafening ‘crack!’ was heard echoing for many seconds after in the hills, which then lay silent as the night which fell on them. Mantera’s skull had completely smashed, spraying blood and bone fragment up the wall in a line that reached Weyit’s head in height. Both clubs had also shattered, leaving a mash of gore, wood and metal in the mud. Weyit roared heroically, but was ushered away by the two enkidukais who could hear the confusion inside the tavern walls. “I thank you.” Said Weyit, picking it’s words carefully to express it’s deepest emotions. “Very much.” It’s deepest emotions weren’t very deep.
“I will remember you forever. Now I will go back home.”
“Oh no, You…”
“Don’t. You belong to Dakkru now. We will give you..”
“Her instructions and you will serve faithfully…”
“Like us.”
“Whether you would like to…”
“Or not.”
Go RP!