Author Topic: Chain of Souls, revised.  (Read 9609 times)

Under the moon

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How this tale came to be.
« Reply #30 on: March 21, 2005, 05:38:01 am »
And if my story was not enough to read, here is something else.

The evolution of ?Chain of Souls?, from simple back story, to snowballing monster.
(or how I wrote this tale)

First off, let me tell you how I write. I start with a basic idea, then ask myself where I want to start and how to finish. I don?t try to think of the plot. Instead, I think of what I would like to see happen. Once I have that done, I create the entire story in my mind, planning each chapter out carefully to achieve the ending. I don?t say, ?This is where I start and that is where I will end?I wonder what I should do in between?? and start writing. That would surely have killed my story. Then, I write a short list of reminders for each chapter.

Like this:

~First Light~
Wake up
Parents
Girlfriend
Leavetaking

~What Time Forgets~
Evil fog
The Beast/portal
People die/pulse/alive again
Chain of Souls
Portal

~In The Labyrinth~
Beast trapped
Dieing
New friends
Azure Sun
Shaln Vae/only hope

~Ending~
On the ship
In Shaln Vae
A cure?
Earthquake/pulse/little girl dies
Sailing back/washed overboard
Ashore/ships gone/ages passed
The end

?????Four chapters? That?s not the story I just read!

That is absolutely right. But that is the story I knew I could write, the story I planned to write. But, at the end of the second paragraph, this line changed everything: ?As I turned to go, my eyes came to rest on a large gouge cut into the doorframe?. A past was born; a back story to my back story. And thus, the snowball began?

First Chapter?

~Enter Sabrene~ add chapter 3 to the plan
This may have been the biggest change to the entire story. As you can see by the reminders, it says ?girlfriend? not ?Guardian? WHAT?!? Yes, Sabrene was to be a minor character, only there to produce a sense of loss when ?Aeden? went through the Portal?alone. I say ?Aeden?, because I had no plan for a name yet. I was actually planning on having the PS community name him for me. But as I progressed, a name presented itself. Sorry. Then came this: ?What are best friends for??. BAM! The plot takes another hit, the snowball starts rolling. Too late to stop now.

~Enter Ulaisha and Con~ add chapter 2 to the plan
This line: ?Connely and Ulaisha must be wondering if we fell into a hole by now.? Added the reason for chapter two. A whole chapter?just for them. Aren?t I nice. But it helped develop the stress between Aeden and Sabrene and help create ?Leavetaking?.

~Dentali~ add Ree?ann
Maybe the second biggest change. I made the Dentali, but I had no idea what to do with them, or who made them. As you read my story, you can see that this changed a couple of times. The ?truth? becomes a lie, and a new truth is born. But Ree?ann was also born.

Chapter Two, Friends and Teachers? expanded from chapter one

~Master Ty~ add the chapter that never happened
You read that right. Believe it or not, I actually left out a chapter. There was to be a battle between Yamuel and the Guardians. Lots of people were going to die, including Ty. But it just didn?t feel right. When Yamuel interrupts the story, I meant that Ty had no future, not Aeden. But it still fits, so I left it in.

Chapter three, The Truth in Tears?  the chapter that was never meant to be, but became one of the longest.

This one changed the rest of the story. It planted the seeds for chapters 5 through 12 by setting up Yamuel and Ree?ann?s story, which I later changed, then changed again as the story proceeded. I now planned on bringing Sabrene through the Portal and making a little ?love triangle? with Ree?ann. Also added Sabrene?s past. Spur of the moment thought turned her into a Higher Class Lady. She gave up her whole life. I wanted to show her devotion to Aeden. This is the instant she moved into a major role. The snowball has now grown too large to stop, I can only guide it.

Chapter four, When Time Forgets? the death of a chapter

Yes, this is the one that killed Ty?s chapter. The more I wrote, the less I felt that the Guardian chapter fit. So not only did time forget, so to did I?and a chapter died. This is also when the black helm came into existence. Your going to laugh at the reason. I couldn?t get the head to look right on my 3D mesh of Yamuel, so I stuck the helm on his head. This changed the second to last chapter so Aeden never gets to Shaln Vae. It also opened the door for Laanx to walk through. Yay, Blender!

Chapter five, Why Gods Cry? welcome to Planeshift

I decided that now was a good time to tell what had happened so long ago with the spear. It is also when I made Ree?ann mortal and created the ?true? Yamuel and the gold link. That expanded the next chapters by a lot. Ree?ann was supposed to tell Aeden about the past, and it was supposed to be the truth. Best laid plans. The bandits openned the door for some new friends in the next chapter.

Chapter six, Under Darkness? a new truth

~enter Yamuel~ the path is set
This is when I finally got my story strait?and stuck to it. There would be no more change to Yamuel and Ree?ann?s past. However?

~enter Yore~ toss in a monkey wrench
Oh boy. You can?t believe how much four letters can change things. \"Ellese. Yore. Come greet these good folks.\" You guessed it, until I wrote that sentence, Burgas and Ellese were alone. There was no Yore. But now there was, and he got me to thinking?

~Sabrene~
Remember in the reminders it said ?dieing? and ?A cure?? Well, it was supposed to be Aeden that was dieing, since Sabrene shouldn?t have made it through the Portal. But, since she was there?

Chapter seven, Lies and Fear?  a new twist

Yore changes everything?again. Damn him. And I finally thought I was getting close to the end.

Chapter eight, The Price of Betrayal?

No changes this time. Just telling the whole truth about Ree?ann and Yamuel. For once.

~enter Jakkar~
*winks at Crimsonsky*

Chapter nine, Under the Azure Sun?

~The Oath~ add chapter ten
I did it again. I should have known that something so simple as an oath would sprout a new chapter.

Chapter ten, An Oath and Broken Vows?

Yikes! I wasn?t expecting to write something like that, and neither were you. But, Ree?ann is Diaboli after all, and it just came out that way. No changes to the plot though.

Chapter eleven, Waiting for Hope?  the chapter that Yore made

No changes to the plot?thankfully.

Chapter twelve, Out of the Mist? a new chapter

I decided to make the ship bigger at the last second. Much bigger. No plot change except that I wanted to separate this chapter from the next one, and make this one happy to really contrast what is about to happen.

Chapter thirteen, Fury and Fate?

The ?blue eyes? scene is the only thing that never changed about this story, as it is the defining moment of my character. Everything that comes after, hinges on that moment. It was also the hardest to write. I feel so bad, letting that fenki girl die, even though I created her. Maybe that is the reason after all.

Chapter fourteen, No Forgiveness?

And I though I was done. But then I began thinking to myself, ?Who is hearing this tale?? Stupid! Stupid! When will I ever learn that thinking is bad.

And, as Burgas would say, done is done. As you can see, I started with a small simple story, and let it evolve into something more. I think that is why I liked writing it so much. Not even I knew what was going to happen until I actually put it to ink. I hope you enjoyed it too.
« Last Edit: June 27, 2006, 03:06:44 am by Under the moon »

Under the moon

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« Reply #31 on: March 25, 2005, 10:40:31 am »
The tale is told...finaly.

Moogie

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« Reply #32 on: July 16, 2005, 06:11:17 pm »
I finally read it! I read it! Finally! Yaaaaaaaaaaay!!

I had no idea what I was missing. Stupid, stupid, stupid Moogie!

Fantastic, I enjoyed every single utter second. The \'blue eyes\' chapter was incredibly moving. I felt so helpless to watch as the world pulsed and pulsed each time he tried to save her... so sad. So moving. So marvelously written.

And why on earth do I have more comments on Path of the Future than you do here? That\'s crazy. I felt bad about my storytelling skills after reading this beautiful piece of work.

More people should read and comment. Do it! Or I ban you aaaaalll!! :D (jk)

derwoodly

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« Reply #33 on: July 17, 2005, 12:43:50 pm »
In order not to be banned...

I am by no means any kind of writer myself and am impressed with anyone who can put that many words together. I have a bad memory for the spelling of names so having as many characters in the story as there were was at times confusing and would require a reread with the glosery in hand. Adding to my confusion is the fact that I don\'t really enjoy the PS setting as it is not Lord-of-the-Rings enough for me. With these things in mind, I was compelled to read the whole story.  I think it was the intro with the evil god in the main characters head argueing with him that hooked me.

I really enjoyed the lore about the death of Ya mool.  Having three stories is briliant, and true to real life.  The common story, the closely guarded secrets, and the real truth that is shockingly different from both of them!

I had some trouble with the combat sceens, but to be fair I have that trouble with just about any movie or book I see/read.  However, I think you are capable of better.  Your art of tripping is how combat sceens should be written!  

My two cents!

Keyaz

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« Reply #34 on: October 12, 2005, 05:25:54 am »
there is not a word in existance to measure the quality of this story.

bravo

seperot

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« Reply #35 on: February 28, 2006, 08:41:09 am »
love the new prolog :D

Irick

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« Reply #36 on: April 15, 2006, 06:34:26 am »
this is by no dought the best story i have read yet. i hope you plan to continue it. /me waits exidedly for the rest.
-Irick (frequent rper and Macie)
Though hidden in the shadows, my mind does not fear the Dark...

Head instructer of the Bujini-kyuuryuu-toutou-ryu

Under the moon

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links fixed
« Reply #37 on: April 15, 2006, 04:25:58 pm »
« Last Edit: June 27, 2006, 03:19:47 am by Under the moon »

Irick

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« Reply #38 on: April 15, 2006, 06:15:33 pm »
yay! *goes to read to the rest of the story*
-Irick (frequent rper and Macie)
Though hidden in the shadows, my mind does not fear the Dark...

Head instructer of the Bujini-kyuuryuu-toutou-ryu

Under the moon

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Chain of Souls, revised.
« Reply #39 on: June 27, 2006, 03:22:31 am »
The story is done...again. :) Feel free to leave comments, or curse me out for my cruelty to my characters. Then, go on to the next stories.

Einnol

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Re: Chain of Souls, revised.
« Reply #40 on: July 03, 2006, 11:17:26 pm »
I didn't get to read this in it's original form and forced myself to wait patiently for months until the rewrites were completed.  'Wow' and 'incredible' do not begin to describe this story.  The depth of the personalities and emotions of the characters jump off the screen to paint a truly amazing tale.  Excellent story Moon.

Ardonel

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Re: Chain of Souls, revised.
« Reply #41 on: January 11, 2008, 02:37:46 am »
Wow, I just re-read this story for the twelfth time....(I do have a life, really...).

This story is just amazing. It is probably more-so because you took your time
in writing, and thought through multiple scenarios before finally setting it
to pen (or computer, if you like).

You have found in me a most humble reader who eagerly awaits the finish
of the other two (at least for now..) CoS stories.

In admiration of your talent,

Ardonel Glynn, Wanderer of the Ways, Explorer of the Realm, Guild of Nomothetes
Ardonel Glynn

Wanderer of the Ways, Explorer of the Realm, Guild of Nomothetes

Deckchair

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Re: Chain of Souls, revised.
« Reply #42 on: March 23, 2008, 05:10:17 am »
awesome story, i wish i could right that well, ill try your method of writing, its better than mine...( think up a story and just type it down straight away..) care to read mine and give me some pointers?
Yarrwin: "Look! A distraction!"
Hucirel: "Were? Were is it?"

Beniel

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Re: Chain of Souls, revised.
« Reply #43 on: June 08, 2008, 09:46:36 am »
Wow, I've been really impressed with this story Underthemoon. I never imagined to find a piece of writing on the internet of such quality.

I would also like to say that your introduction was brilliant, it really set the scene and sucked me into the story. So rewriting it was definitely worth the effort.

Now on to the next few stories!