Best Friend Syndrome

[Waylander]

You misunderstood me, I wasn\'t attacking your post at all.  I was just pointing out that there are other things he needs to do aswell as be the perfect gentleman

Oh and I forgot to mention...the quote was (along with being way off )from Nicholas Cage in Lord of War... great movie, may want to watch it to see how his relationship ends up

[Levski]

Waylander, I think you mean that you have to keep the relationship interesting.  There\'s better ways to do that than lie...

[Waylander]

Not as much interesting, but you have to do things that will get her mad at you.  I guess there are probably better ways to do it than to lie...but all the same, it\'s a pretty good option and leads to great....stuff

[Levski]

Uh, that\'s only if she doesn\'t get mad enough to leave you.

I don\'t think you\'re earning too many brownie points with the female Planeshifters, Waylander. :-P

[Karyuu]

If you seriously think that lying in a relationship is an okay idea just to make things interesting, however small, you\'re never going to get very far.

[zanzibar]

Originally posted by Karyuu
If you seriously think that lying in a relationship is an okay idea just to make things interesting, however small, you\'re never going to get very far.

Meh.  It gives the person something to pursue and break through.  If you\'re dealing with a rescuer, it can work depending on the lie.  Let\'s face it - complete honesty isn\'t always the best policy if you want someone to be interested in you.  It rarely is, actually, and I wouldn\'t even say that it\'s something that people really want.

[Karyuu]

I dislike the \"make a white lie and sometimes let her find out\" line, because that seems too much like playing a game for the sake of entertainment. If you need lies to keep a relationship interesting, something is wrong.

I\'m not arguing about the need to dance around the truth sometimes - as unfortunate as that may be and as much as it should be avoided. I\'m arguing about Waylander\'s careless phrasing and perhaps careless thought process.

[Waylander]

I don\'t mean to sound sexist, I have just never dated a guy and so have no idea how it works the other way

Lying is obviously okay in a relationship, hell, you need to lie quite often \"No, I didn\'t get drunk, I only drank a little\" goes over better than \"I threw up EVERYWHERE!!!\".  And, as much as you may disagree, women need to get mad at their boyfriends.  I don\'t quite understand it, but they just need to and when they do it you have two choices 1) Get yelled at more but end up alright by giving her an actual reason OR 2) Not do anything wrong which ends up in her feeling guilty which after a while will make her feel like the bad guy and cause her to hate herself, which in her mind = you made her hate herself which ends up with her leaving you and going out with the scum of the earth just so she is the better party...

1) You apologize, she stays mad at you for a while, you do something kind out of love and then you get the best...stuff  you\'ve had in months \\o/


I\'m not talking about lying to her all the time, just often enough so she feels like she is the better party (but not by much).

Of course I could be wrong


^^^That\'s a joke
That\'s a joke^^^ O.o

[Karyuu]

Now we all learn why Waylander doesn\'t have successful relationships ;)

My point still stands and has just been reinforced.

And, as much as you may disagree, women need to get mad at their boyfriends [...]

Generalizations and assumptions aren\'t healthy.

[Waylander]

Waylander stays away from relationships because they are a complete joke along with notions such as love and \"being meant for each other\", beauty

And relationships are about playing a game for the sake of entertainment (and of course our neverending search to find a meaning in life blah de blah blah )

I don\'t think you\'re earning too many brownie points with the female Planeshifters, Waylander. :-P

I know, I don\'t really care about them at the moment, just for this poor kid who everybody is pushing into a fantasy world with their lovey dovey thoughts

Many others agree with my point of view Karyuu, just most are smart enough not to make the truth public

[derwoodly]

Intresting advice Waylander, perhaps your dating ideals have been influenced by books like this...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0142001198/102-4819696-2420966?v=glance&n=283155

[zanzibar]

Originally posted by Karyuu
I dislike the \"make a white lie and sometimes let her find out\" line, because that seems too much like playing a game for the sake of entertainment. If you need lies to keep a relationship interesting, something is wrong.

I\'m not arguing about the need to dance around the truth sometimes - as unfortunate as that may be and as much as it should be avoided. I\'m arguing about Waylander\'s careless phrasing and perhaps careless thought process.

I don\'t mean a white lie.  I mean, let\'s say you have a certain look.  And a girl asks you what\'s wrong.  You can either say that there\'s nothing wrong with a smile on your face, or you can pour your heart out on the girl.  Which do you think is more attractive?

[Waylander]

Originally posted by derwoodly
Intresting advice Waylander, perhaps your dating ideals have been influenced by books like this...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0142001198/102-4819696-2420966?v=glance&n=283155

Hmm, I don\'t read books on the stuff.  I just happen to be around relationships a lot...too much

[dorbian]

Throughout my dating with girls i figured out that the best thing is to make certain \"semi-obvious\" remarks or say certain things to lure her out of the \"cage\".

This way you can check if a girl would actually like you.

I had the same thing, i was head over heels in love with someone and yes i would actually die for her ( i have the crack in my wrist bone to prove it ).

Eventually you should wait with opening yourself up to a girl untill you know the feelings are mutual.

The easiest thing i have found to know if a woman is likeing you is saying you always kiss your good friend on their mouth ( only with the other sex offcourse ), if she doesn\'t wanna do that, well you know for sure she doesn\'t like you enough for a relation.

Woman are hard to figure what they want, they somehow can handle their hormones better then men, or the male hormone makes you do strange things.

Good luck with the girl man, i hope it will work out a bit even after here akwerd feeling moment.

Btw, i eventually had the girl by doing things that all girls like, but that, is my secret

[Karyuu]

Originally posted by zanzibar
I mean, let\'s say you have a certain look.  And a girl asks you what\'s wrong.  You can either say that there\'s nothing wrong with a smile on your face, or you can pour your heart out on the girl.  Which do you think is more attractive?

Pour your heart out - if she\'s doing the \"What\'s wrong?\" line just as that courtesy gesture our culture has imprinted onto us with no meaning behind it, tough luck. If she genuinely cares, it\'ll show.

And it\'s even more important if you are in a relationship together.