Let's try to keep giving more feedback.
Anfa has a point when she says that a quest sends you to the DR to make another step in order to complete it, and, to complete it at full, you've indeed to come back to the living realm.
This wouldn't be the first case when NPC sentences collides in some way with the background settings of the game.
But then again, this has an explanation. Probably, the one designing that quest did only want to bring more fun to the ones trying to make it, and thought about using the DR too, as a spicy effect for the quest. I won't blame the designer for that, as it was with the best of intentions.
I'll do say, however, that quests hardly can be roleplayed properly, and this one, isn't an exception. But this quest IC/OOC discussion, is off topic in here.
All seem to agree at one point. DR is a place hard to get out from (even some state hard to get into)
I've seen replies that state that, currently, the DR isn't finished, and that it will expand with time. I've no doubts about that.
BUT
Attempting to design an ingame DR as it is intended to be in the setting, would be an error, and cannot be considered an objective of design, to my eyes.
Let's assume we've a DR map, that is as hard to get out as the "real" DR is intended to be. That means that hardly anyone, when entering that place, would be able to get out. See how this collides with the original objective of the DR, that is giving the player the chance to keep playing his/her char as long as he/she wants. But, for now, let's assume that map is indeed implemented.
If a char of mine dies, and I get teleported to that map, from where you've very little chances to get out, I would have 2 options. Delete char and start a new one (perhaps same name) in the living realm and pretend nothing has happened (and for this solution, there's no need to actually implement any larger DR, as it can be done right now) or keep the char, trapped in the DR. Considering the amount of accidental (that is, non player desired) deads that your char suffers (cliffs, bugged attacks...) sooner or later DR would be populated with "trapped" chars. Oh, but I never make my char to fight, so probably I'd stick still in the living realm. Most of people uses the combat system. Chances are that, soon, the majority of chars would be "trapped" in that DR map, perfectly mimeting the
extreme difficulty that exiting the DR has. In order to RP, you need the players. And if they've their chars trapped inside the DR, you'll end killing your char to RP with them. In other words, strictically implementing ingame the intended DR, would switch realms. DR would become the "living" realm (at least where action is) while the living world would be almost desert (people finding noone around, knowing that people is trapped inside the DR, if they want to play, they switch world) obviously this is such an extreme view. But I hope the point is clear.
The DR will never be, in game, as hard to get out as it's supposed to be. Period.
How to act, then? Common sense, logic, and consciousness.
Indeed, if your char dies IC (if you player, agree to your char dieing) then you've the option to RP it trapped inside the DR, or, as Under the Moon said, delete it completely. You've also the option of playing a resurrection spell (a highly skilled crystal or dark way mage on the living realm casting it) but that, definitively, isn't the rule (there can't be a big amount of skilled enough magicians, and casting such an spell wouldn't be like going to buy rat hides).
Does that mean that if your char is sent to the DR you've to delete it?
Absolutely not.
I fully understand Zorbels point, as mine is exactly the same. I too won't kill Nilrem. I know it, people knows it. He has never been into the DR, nor been killed.
And that you've the right to do, because you player ultimately decide when your char dies.
But, then again, common sense. If you find yourself in the DR, and exit, but you didn't from an IC perspective were there, simply, don't roleplay that dead. I've sometimes the feeling that certain people sees this things as "obstacles" in their RP that they've to "surpass" and that, when they do that, they become better roleplayers. I disagree with that. If your char is sent to the DR, accepting that IC and playing a resurrection later won't make you any better roleplayer, to my eyes. If your char was not meant to die, it simply didn't die.
Sometimes this can be fun, you fell off a cliff and are teleported to the DR, and then an idea pops to your mind, and you think ok, I'll RP my char fainted, and fell on the ground. But in any case, you'd never RP it indeed died and resurrected. And still, while I agree you can RP your char fainted, you're not forced to use that always. Your char died for a bug, or your distraction while talking IRL with another person, or because you went away of keyboard... whatever the reason is, it's OOC, you don't have any need (and "succeeding" on that won't make you any better) to justify that IC.
Also, please refrain from using this to play the superhero type of char. "Since I decide when my char dies, I go around like a superhero because noone will effectively kill me". That's not the point. Let's all try to act logically.
So then again, if you don't really have to, don't roleplay your char deads. Examples have been given of ingame situations. Wars are one of those situations. There have been wars played in game, some have been tried to be roleplayed. After the war's over, the reports are done, praising the value of those that fight and all. Please, let's all refrain of naming someone that died two times in a battle. Or prevent also the one telling the war story from saying he/she was also killed, but now it's telling the story...
This, as almost anything in RP, is a matter of conscienciation.
[Then again lenghty post... same rule as my previous one applies

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