Actually, I would be more worried about the Reynolds Wrap company creating the entire alien conspiracy. I mean come on, what better way to sell more aluminum than to invent aliens, then say the only way to block their mind rays is to stuff a beanie full of your product. Brilliant if you ask me.
Not to mention how all the UFOs seem to look as if they are made out of a flexible, metallic, shiny material. What better way to use Reynolds Wrap seconds that fail inspection?
Unless….the Reynolds Wrap people -are- aliens, and aluminum foil -increases- the reception of mind controlling rays…
* Under the moon gets rid of all aluminum foil in the house, and switches to wax paper.
Oh god! Unless that is what the Wax Paper folks wanted me to do, and wax paper contains mind control nanobots!
* Under the moon sells everything he owns including his clothing so he can not be tracked or mind controlled in any way, and lives in the northwoods for the rest of his life, which is not long, as he gets shot by Bigfoot hunters by mistake two months later.