The Invisible Foe

[Izzabella]

* Izzabella goes to start reading the story from the very begging...

this is really good, you are a writer and I am sorry I've not been reading this from the start! You are very descriptive and its really easy to see what you are describing I love it!

[Lolitra, Celorrim Purrty Twins]

If I could, I would appear as Lolitra in the story and take you away from all that.. but it is a rivetting story - love it.

[Under the moon]

You have improved your writing style greatly in these last chapters. Well done.

[Arerano]

It's clear that you put very much effort into that story.
And that it's your first story -- is it really? -- well, I can't really believe it even if you say so.

Althought the story could be complete with your previous post, I truely hope that it is not - would be a very sad end indeed.

One more thing: It was hard for me to stop reading it even thought it was already late night - or rather early morning - and also am I glad that I began reading when so many chapters were already written. Must have been a pain to wait for more to come otherwise.

You have my respect.
Arerano

[Edit: added "One more thing" which isn't really only one. ]

[Mathy Stockington]

Part Thirty-Seven

Day–Mathy


Months have passed since I sent Leama home. I wanted to return there also, but my new friends asked me to stay. I have so enjoyed living here. I now make daggers to give to the hunters so we can all have food. I still eat the apples off her favorite tree in the plaza. Sometimes I eat in the tavern with the people I call my friends too.


Some still ask me about her, but not too often because they know it upsets me. Many times I had thought to leave to find Leama. Never did a day go by without my thinking of dear sister. Some people even suggested a search party to make it easier to find her. I could not take these hard working people from their jobs just to find my sister.

 
Though I have to say living here has been like a dream come true. I am glad Leama told me to stay. My life is so much nicer then I ever thought it could be.


One day a while back I had a funny sensation come over me. It reminded me of the incidences that happened to Leama when she was here during her last days. The feeling was one of despair and total sorrow that came from someone else. I pretended it did not happen and I never felt it again. Sometimes I wondered if it was Leama's enemy trying to come to me to tell me something about Leama, but I ignored him. It never happened again so I thought it was my imagination.


By this time I had established a routine here in my new home. No longer did I have to get up early in the morning before the sun rose to prepare the first meal of the day, nor tend to the house that was forever dirty, nor did I have to be on my hands and knees all afternoon weeding the garden, and harvesting the vegetables that I grew. This was a better life as Leama said it would be. I was happy for the first time in my life because I was here with my friends that cared about me.
 

I remember after a long day of work I was standing in Hydlaa alone and someone came up behind me and told me to give him all my money. Before I had time to tell him I had none someone else was telling this bad person to leave me alone. I was cared for and protected here. That was what Leama wanted also and now I understood.

[Mathy Stockington]

Part Thirty-Eight

The Finale

 
It was such a pretty day as the sun warmed me turning the sky a beautiful blue color with its puffy clouds. I could not imagine anything awful happening on such a pretty day. My day started off as they all did with an apple and saying my greetings to the people who lived here that seemed like family to me, my family.
 

After I broke my fast I washed myself and went to work as usual. Almost as the day was coming to an end someone ran up to me telling me a messenger was asking for me. Quickly I ran to the plaza hoping to see Leama. Instead an older dwarf stood before me looking worn out from the long distance he had traveled.
 

He stood before me asking if I was Mathy and I said I was. Then he handed me a scroll and left me standing there. Not knowing what to do I just stood there holding the old parchment afraid to open it. I was shaking all over so much so I could not even open it. Slowly I calmed down and unrolled it to read what it said:

I just stared at the note unbelieving what it said. Feeling like the wind was knocked out of me I just sat down where I was on the grass and cried. Suddenly a dark cloud came over me and I knew this was Leama's Invisible Foe. I felt something else also, his overwhelming sadness. The cloud had tears coming from it. It was not rain, it was tears of such devastating sorrow. I felt bad for his loss as well.
 

Then I looked down to where I sat and noticed a small piece of parchment at my feet. I opened it up seeing the handwriting was Mother's. She wrote to me to stay here and never return or I would be dead too. Be happy and be well it said. She signed it, "I love you. Mother". All I could do was sit there and cry with tears that could never express my sorrow as the dark cloud covered me in its tears too.

The End

[Mathy Stockington]

Acknowledgements

I want to thank all the people who have read my story and taken this journey with me. Thank you to those who have made suggestions along the way. I hope you enjoyed it my story.

First I want acknowledge Grroww. He was the first to read it in stages and encouraged me to keep writing because he said he liked it. Thank you.

I wrote this story about a year ago. It took about 6 months to write and even longer to edit. One day I mentioned it on IRC. To my amazement Donari wanted to read it. So I sent it to him and told him it was really bad. Well he wrote back to me that he loved it. All had to be done is make some setting corrections. He begged me to post it and I refused. There would be so much work to do. He never gave up asking me to do this until one day he volunteered to post it for me.

Finally, I agreed and I sent it to him chapter by chapter he so could proof read it and post it. We have been doing this for months, as you can see. So you have Donari to thank for being able to read this story. He put a great deal of time and effort into this. I wanted all my readers to know.

Without Donari this would never have happened. Saying thank you to you Donari does not even begin to say how appreciative I am of all your hard work and commitment for all this time. You have been patient, kind and devoted throughout this process. After he posted the first chapter I was so nervous I told him, "I don't want to do this." He just kept encouraging me each week to keep going. If we had a dollar for each time he told me to 'calm down,' we would be rich. That in itself was a big job. I cannot express my gratitude to you enough for all you have done.

Thank you ever so much!

[zorbels]

I wanted to wait till the end of the story was posted so that I could comment on it for public view seeing as I had read it before it was posted. I would have felt silly if I had posted my encouragements after every chapter was installed. (Hope you understand leama!)

I really liked the story and I am glad that Leama decided to post it. She has a very creative way of writing and I found it quite refreshing to read it due to the first person telling of this story. Not many people write like that on the forums. Your skills with writing improved with each new installement and I found myself wanting to know more after I would finish reading each chapter. I do hope in the future you will write about the other characters you play in PlaneShift.

[Lolitra, Celorrim Purrty Twins]

a mixed sad yet happy-ish ending.  I am so glad I read it, it has been a great read for me and filled times that would otherwise have been very lonely.

Thank you.

[Mathy Stockington]

I wanted to wait a few days before I made my final post here.

Anumesa: your encouragement was greatly appreciated.

Suno: I wonder where you are and what you think of the ending.

Arerano: You paid me the biggest compliment of all. To think you stayed up late to read my story because you liked it. I am humbled by that.

Zorbels: I am glad you enjoyed the story and your praise means a great deal to me. You are an amazing writer. I am thinking of another story to write, but I now see how I need a lot more background information before I can start. Do you want to help me?

Lolitra: I am happy to bring you some comfort while you were in the hospital. It is an honor to be sure. Though I was totally taken back when you and I were in game and I introduced myself to your friend and he said, “Mathy, you mean the storyteller on the forums?” When I said yes he surprised me by saying, ‘wow.’

Izzabella: Remember my asking you for the names of the kind of pets in game? It was about midnight one night I know that. Now you know why. I hope you enjoy reading the rest when you have time.

Under the Moon: Thank you for your constructive criticism and kind words as well; your opinion means a lot to me.

Though I must say I am very curious about whom else has read it. So many reads that it makes me wonder who else took this journey with me. Please let me know.

Again thank you for your kind words.

[steuben]

there will have been far more then will leave their mark here.

well done for your first ouiting lass. better then mine... gosh i hope my first outing stays buried. *harumphs* got more views too then my big story. i'm jealous. which oddly enough has fewer views then my sketches. either way i'm still jealous.

anyways, a quite imagine there would be a great many people who would be wanting to have a... discussion with a certain dwarf. and a few i can think of can be quite... verbose.

[Mathy Stockington]

I would enjoy talking to anyone who wants to about my story. It would be good to get more feed back. I wonder if anyone understood the moral of this story? Thank you Steuben.

[vennatorr]

for anyone who would like to read the story as an openoffice document or pdf, download the zip file from this page.

[Merina Kutha]

Mathy,

This was a FANTASTIC read. As has been stated, the first person view of the story and your detailed descriptions really made this great. I was in fact moved to tears at he final chapter If this is indeed your first then you must surely have some natural talent for writing!

[Mathy Stockington]

Merina,

Such a great compliment you have given me here that I had to respond. I am glad you enjoyed my story. I regret that I brought you to tears though. That was not my intention. Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected such a great response!!

There is a lesson to be learned from this story and if only one person learns from it then it was well worth it.

Thank you again for your kind words.

Gratefully Yours,

Mathy Stockington