Nooby Song.

[Xillix Queen of Fools]

Dev (a la XilliX):

   My castle stands upon the hill.       
   it shines of whitest bone.             
   when noobies came here noobies died.
   from them I make my home.             
   Their skulls adorn my throne.         

Noob:

   dude omfg
   wtf?
   you just pwnt my ass.
   I'm calling a ref.
   and where are the mounts?       
   and why can't I fly?           
   and which way is south?       
   and what if I die?             
Dev:

   once came nooby from nooby town, 
   the noobiest noob around.         
   he came and went in ignorance     
   until his bones I ground.         
   his cries were not profound.
   
Noob:   

   give me a longsword.             
   please give me some cash.
   I don't read a word,   
   please do a podcast.     
   and where are the mounts?
   and why can't I fly?   
   and which way is south?
   and what if I die?       

Dev:   
   
   the waypost here has warning:           
   "Dear noobies, Stay Away!"             
   and yet they tread on my dark path     
   a nooby game they play                 
   I make them rue the day!               

Noob:   
   
   Hey wanna cyber?
   where do I sell hides?
   hey, where do I mine?
   I hate reading guides.
   and where are the mounts?             
   and why can't I fly?                   
   and which way is south?                 
   and what if I die?

Dev:   
   
   Then hundreds upon thousands came     
   far too many to kill,                 
   I dug a pit to catch the lame.         
   My sign read "Blood will spill."         
   Alas the noobs came still .             

Noob:   
   
   Make me your buddy
   hey, check out my site.
   what is your email
   now where do i fight?
   and where are the mounts?           
   and why can't I fly?                 
   and which way is south?               
   and what if I die?                     

Dev:   
   
   As time wore on I wanted peace
   millions and millions dead.
   the flow of noobs would never cease
   many a forum thread
   where useless noobies said:

Noob:   
   
   Hey wanna cyber?
   where do I sell hides?
   hey, where do I mine?
   I hate reading guides.
   and where are the mounts?               
   and why can't I fly?                   
   and which way is south?               
   and what if I die?

Dev:   
   
   My noobskin coat it serves me well.
   as I make noobies cold.
   They are no aid to man or gods
   I waste no time to scold
   complaints make game devs old.

[Bridge then Primary speaker becomes secondary]

Dev:

I hate noobs too much
I pull out my hair.
This chorus won't end.
I start to despair.
No there are no mounts,
Jump this cliff to fly
and that way is south
and I'll help you die

Noob:

A pop-up came! I hit the X.
I have no one to blame.
now i'm lost. What do I do next?
this game is so hard
but i won't read a guide
I fell off a mountain
slipped and I died.

Dev:

When I lost patience for the noobs
I divined what to do.
3 letters newbies never know
placed on the hill below
my sign read FAQ

Dev:

My castle stands upon the hill.       
it shines of whitest bone.             
when noobies came here noobies died.   
from them I make my home.             
Their skulls adorn my throne. 
 
http://www.xordan.com/Nooby%20Song.mp3

[Dihenis]

Best Song Ever. hehe I would record myself singing this, but I can't sing 

+sticky?

[Pizik]

You are a lyrical genius XilliX!!!

[Duraza]

Looks like we now have the PS national anthem.

[Raa]

Freakin' awesome.

[Xillix Queen of Fools]

Special thanks to EllillE for some metric shifts/suggestions.

[Prolix]

I think this is the wrong forum, perhaps Poetry, Comedy, and other. or the Hydlaa Plaza. would be a better place to mock the blissfully unaware. I can't say I have seen them too much in the game, though, to validate your theme. It must be because I don't engage in social intercourse with every Thom, Pizik and Kary.

[Xillix Queen of Fools]

no time for sticklers.

[Izzabella]

ROFL I love eet!  thanks for sharing.

* Izzabella goes off to find a flying mount.

[Morla Phlint]

AwEsOmE!   

[Zan]

Where is the podcast of this song?

[Prolix]

Yay! much better.

So about the song, what do you mean "primary speaker becomes secondary" Does your Dev revert to Noobishness? I didn't quite understand that.

Do you have a particular melody you had in mund when you wrote it?

[Izzabella]

   dude omfg
   wtf?
   you just pwnt my ass.
   I'm calling a ref.
   and where are the mounts?       
   and why can't I fly?           
   and which way is south?       
   and what if I die?             
[Extra points for anyone who records and posts a musical interpretation]

I'm having a bit of trouble singing this line out...would  you say the actual words the acronyms stand for.. spell them out? (W-T-F) Or try to pronounce them as words even? (yes I've heard this done )


*edit* also if you read it in a fast nursery rhyme tune its just fantastic! (sorry I have small kids )

[Xillix Queen of Fools]

read the letters aloud.

Prolix, it just means the noob takes the verse and the dev takes the chorus. As far as the tune I began with it was something like "when johnny comes marching home again" and . . .I can't believe you reported me you wackjob! No one will see it here!

[Prolix]

I didn't report you, I just commented acerbically wryly.

Did you not like my forum specific interpolation for Tom, Dick and Harry? I thought it lightened the post immensely and indicated it was a mere finger-poke and not a knife disemboweling. Certainly those named were collaterally damaged by me and innocent bystanders to boot. It was but a mere twitting from a twitter; to wit; to woo.

It was quite a clever poem and word will get around.