Zephan and Calluna's tale.

[Calluna]

Two years went by. We'd run home from school, eat dinner, then sneak off to the hut before anyone came calling for Zephan, filling up the corners with our pilfered snacks and water from the stream nearby, and he'd spend the weekends hanging out with the older boys. I think it was around that time I'd started developing a huge crush on Zephan. Probably earlier, now I think back on it, although back then, I regarded him like my big brother, so I kept my crush firmly to myself! I would have been around seven by then, approaching eight, and Zephan was starting to fill out, having turned thirteen already. That's when the trouble started for real, and when it did, it was terrible. It was a few days before my eighth birthday, I think, and we'd just been let out of school. Zephan had moved from the junior class by then, as he'd had his birthday, and he'd told me to wait for him just inside the doors, as the senior class finished a little later than we did. I didn't mind waiting in the slightest, and I was looking forward to seeing him after the long day, to chat about all the somethings and nothings we usually did after school.

[Calluna]

I'd moved up to the senior classroom, having just had my thirteenth birthday, and even though I didn't want to leave Calluna behind, she was far too young to cope with the workload expected of the older children. She wasn't quite eight, and even though she was bright, she would have struggled. I think that was my first indication that I held deep feelings for her, because my first few days in the senior class were disastrous. I tried to concentrate, but no matter how hard I tried, my mind kept wandering, thinking of her sitting there in a different classroom. I missed her terribly. Eventually, towards the end of my second week in the class, my teacher called me aside at home time. I'd failed a test earlier in the day, and he wanted to discuss why I'd excelled in the junior class, but was failing so badly now I'd moved up. I knew Calluna was waiting for me, so I could walk home with her, and as the rest of the class filed out and my teacher beckoned to me, all I could do was hope that being inside the school would keep her safe. In the middle of talking to my teacher, however, that hope was utterly dashed.

I was in the middle of promising to do better, and explaining that I was quite simply missing my friend and settling in, when I glanced towards the open doorway. For a brief moment, Calluna's face peered around the door frame, but then, with a terrified sounding squeak, she vanished out of sight. She was a little nervous of my new teacher, and tended to either hide behind me or flatten herself to the nearest handy wall whenever he passed. I almost smiled, thinking of her hiding round the corner, just out of sight, and continued speaking with my teacher, believing Calluna was safely inside. There seemed to be a considerable amount of noise outside, but many of the students liked to hang around the school and talk, or play games before going home, so it never occurred to me that anything strange might be happening. Finally, my teacher dismissed me, telling me to try and work on making a new friend, to lessen the loneliness he sensed I was feeling, and I left the classroom, peering around the door frame with a grin, expecting to see Calluna there. But the corridor was empty.

[Calluna]

Finally, the senior class came walking out, hoot-hollering and laughing amongst themselves, as usual. I was so busy scanning the mass of people, searching for Zephan, that I didn't notice the knot of boys hanging around opposite where I waited. Even if I had, I don't think there's much I could have done, like I said, I've always been small, and on the skinny side. The last few stragglers had left the classroom, and there was still no sign of Zephan. I decided that I'd walk to the classroom door, to see if he was still inside, but just as I managed to peek around the door frame and see him talking to the teacher, someone grabbed my wrist and dragged me backwards! Naturally I squealed, but it didn't do me much good. I ended up being hauled outside, and surrounded by the same knot of boys, the ones who'd formed a gang, and were terrorizing the village every weekend. One of them shoved me hard in the back, and I landed on my knees in the dirt, and started to cry. A few of them laughed, and one kicked up the dust under his feet, showering me with it. Then I was hauled unceremoniously back to my feet by the hair, to more laughter, and immediately shoved again, landing back on my knees, much to their amusement.

It was then that the name calling started. As I said before, Nolthrir were a rarity outside the submerged levels back then, so there were plenty of shouts of “freak” and “fish girl”, along with some other epithets I can no longer remember. Along with the insults were prodding fingers in my shoulders, more dust in my face, more shoving, and kicks to my legs whenever I managed to struggle to my feet, along with one over-enthusiastic soul slapping me soundly across the face, sending me sprawling, my teeth biting hard into my cheek. I was petrified, crying and squealing, wrapping my hands over my head whenever I stumbled and fell in a vain attempt to stop my hair from being pulled again. All of a sudden, the tormenting stopped, and the boys seemed to stand aside. I looked up, blinking back tears, and saw the son of the village chief standing over me, an oddly neutral look on his face.

I remember being relieved. Kellan would have been about seventeen then, and easily bigger than any of the rabble surrounding me. I started to gibber, almost, explaining what had happened, and asking him to help me. When I had finished, he just -looked- at me, and then gave me a smile that chilled me to the core. He reached over, and dragged me to my feet by my hair again, then turned to face the other boys, who had clustered up as soon as he took hold of me. “Who hasn't had a turn kicking the little freak?” he said, his voice dripping with satisfaction while I squealed and struggled in his grip, only my toes still on the floor. It was then he looked back over to the school, and beckoned. There stood Zephan, rooted to the floor in shock, his face pale.

[Calluna]

In blind panic, I raced down the corridor, wildly hoping she'd simply decided to walk home alone. I reached the main doors, and burst through them. The sight on the other side froze me to the spot in horrified disbelief. There, in the small yard in front of the school, was the gang, standing in a cluster. In front of them was an exultant looking Kellan, dangling a terrified, squealing Calluna by the hair, her toes scuffing the dirt in arcs as she struggled against the pain. My heart hammered loud in my ears, and then, Kellan looked over at me, his expression a cruel, twisted smile. 'Who hasn't had a turn kicking the little freak?' he said, his voice satisfied and silken. He beckoned to me, just as though he was calling me over to the fallen tree, and then beckoned again, lifting Calluna up a little, and giving me a clear view of her face, a thin trickle of blood running from her mouth down her chin. I felt a white hot rage fill my entire body, and as he beckoned again, I straightened my spine, knowing what I had to do, and knowing what would happen as a result.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl. I walked towards Kellan, parting the cluster of boys as I strode through them. I grabbed Kellan's wrist with one hand, swinging a punch at his stomach with the other, then kicked his kneecap as hard as I could, twisting around and sinking my teeth into his arm, forcing him to drop Calluna as he stumbled and fell. Everyone started yelling at that point, and closing in on me, Dimir grabbing my arms and pinning them behind my back as Kellan stood up again, dusting himself off quite calmly. I struggled, but it was no use, Dimir was too strong for me to escape. Kellan nodded, just once, and the gang closed around me landing punch after punch to my ribcage and stomach, cheering one another on. Somehow, I managed to get my breath for a split second, and I yelled, barely recognising my voice,  'RUN! Please! Get on your feet and RUN!'. Somehow, Calluna heard me above the noise of the gang, and I saw her get to her feet and skitter away, picking up speed as she fled, just before Kellan's fist filled my vision, and everything went black.

[Calluna]

All of a sudden, with absolute clarity, I knew why Zephan had been acting so differently when we were around the other children. He was a member of this gang! The knowledge turned into a lump of panic, lodged in my chest, making it difficult to breathe. I'd never really made friends with the other children, they all seemed wary of me being different, or quite simply content with the friends they'd already made. Zephan was the only one I considered a true friend, and yet, all of a sudden, I was certain I'd lost him, too. Kellan beckoned again, and from my restricted viewpoint, I saw Zephan stiffen, then walk over to where Kellan held me dangling by the hair, his face set in the thunderous expression he wore every school morning. I closed my eyes, terrified of what was about to happen, not wanting to see Zephan's face if he was going to be cruel to me.

Without warning, there was a low “oof”, and I found myself being dropped to the floor, my knees buckling underneath me so I collapsed in a heap, my head bouncing off the dirt. At first, I thought that Kellan wanted Zephan to kick dust in my face, or worse, kick me! My head swam, and I clapped my hands over my ears, because it seemed like everyone was yelling. In the midst of this cacophony, I heard Zephan, yelling too. His voice sounded odd, as though he was struggling to get the words out. 'RUN! Please! Get on your feet and RUN!' In a daze, I staggered up to my feet, and did just that, sprinting as fast as I possibly could across the main square and all the way up to our tiny house, diving behind the curtain to my alcove, burying myself under the patchwork blanket and sobbing my heart out, my hands wrapped tightly over my sore scalp, my insides wrenched with despair.

[Calluna]

When the world swam nauseatingly into view again, I was in a bed at the healer's building, dressed in clean clothing. My entire body ached, and as my vision cleared, and I looked down at my hands, I saw that they were bloody and bruised, my knuckles aching terribly. I could barely move, even turning my head hurt. Nobody else seemed to be nearby, and the room was darkened. I closed my eyes, trying to keep myself together, hoping with all my heart that Calluna had made it home safely before the gang were done with me, and worrying that they'd somehow caught her before she reached safety. I started to cry, empty, hollow sobs, desperately needing to know that she hadn't been hurt, my ribs aching like fire as I heaved in each sobbing breath. Nobody was there to ask.

Two long weeks went by, and my injuries were tended carefully by Calluna's mother. Her father also hovered nearby during the day, his face grim. Though I hadn't spoken about what had happened to me, just before I was allowed to go back home, Calluna's mother sat beside my bed, asking to talk. I tried to answer her, but she shushed me, telling me to listen. 'I don't think you went hunting, Zephan' she said, almost in a whisper. 'I also think you should stay away from school from now on. I'll teach you, so your education won't suffer. Nobody will even blink if you become a healer's apprentice. But... you need to stay away from Calluna. Whoever did this to you can easily use her as a weapon, and we need to make them think the two of you have fallen out.' Dumbly, I nodded, agreeing with her. Kellan and his gang didn't even know how to honour a simple promise, after all, so any hint of a friendship between Calluna and I could put her in danger.

My mother came to collect me the following day, telling me, quite simply, that I would be staying home until she and my father decided they could trust me enough to let me out again. The walk from the healer's building to our house seemed to take forever, and I stumbled more than once, tired and woozy, feeling breathless. Not once did my mother stop to help me, although she was setting a slower pace than she'd usually take. As we came to our clearing, I quickly scanned the garden, but there was no sign of Calluna. A bitter taste filled my mouth. Apparently Calluna's mother didn't even intend to allow me to let her daughter know I was alright. My mother noticed me staring wistfully at their house, and let out a hiss of irritation. 'What is it with you and that girl?' she spat, scowling at me. I shook my head silently, not really knowing how to answer her. My mother sighed heavily, her expression softening into one of pity. 'Her parents mentioned a special dinner tonight, in honour of her birthday. That's probably why she isn't here to greet you.' With that, she led me inside our house, and settled me into my bed. The walk had wearied me so much, I don't even remember my head hitting the pillow.

I woke with a start, only to find myself in the house alone, and the day already brightening. Though it took me several attempts, I managed to haul myself out of bed and to my feet, wincing as I got myself dressed. Though my mother had left me some breakfast, along with a note to stay in the house, I didn't sit down to eat it. Instead, I gathered it up into a basket, and quietly walked out of the door, heading for the hut, hoping that Calluna would be there. Another endless seeming walk later, I stumbled through the doorway of our hut, and, finding I was alone, hauled myself over to the pile of cushions, making myself something of a nest, and drifted off to sleep there, despite best efforts to stay awake. I'm not sure how long I slept, but when I finally awoke, it never occurred to me to move. Instead, I lay curled on the cushions, thinking. Calluna was as good as gone from my life, I grew more sure of that as each moment passed. Likely her parents had confined her to her house, too. What was I going to do if the gang decided to target her again? How would I manage, now I wasn't going back to school? My thoughts grew increasingly more upsetting, and I imagined all kinds of horrors befalling us, now I'd betrayed Kellan. It was then that the sweetest sight under the crystal stepped through the hut door.

[Calluna]

It was a couple of hours later when my parents returned home, by which time I'd calmed down enough to be convincing when I turned down supper, pretending I was tired. As I lay there in my little alcove, I overheard their muted voices, discussing a reckless patient, who had been out hunting, and bitten off more than he could chew. As they discussed various remedies for his injuries, and my mother tsk tsked at his cavalier behaviour, I listened closely, hoping to discover some method of soothing my burning scalp. Suddenly, my father's rumbling voice blurted out “The boy is bruised to a pulp! How could Zephan be so reckless? He left Calluna to walk home alone while he went -hunting-?! The boy has NO sense!” My mother's soothing tones immediately replied, “Well, he's never done anything like this before, my love... every boy needs to play the daredevil once in a while. You were no different...” I rolled over, placing my hands over my ears, not wanting to hear any more. Zephan, my beloved friend, had been beaten up for defending me.

Strangely, after that day, people seemed to give me a wide berth. It was almost as though people feared becoming a target by standing too close to me. Even the boys in the gang avoided me wherever possible. Looking back, I think they were just trying to save their own skins from the truth of what happened, but back then, I was simply relieved not to have to go through another torment similar. Zephan didn't come back to school that week, nor the week after that. My birthday came and went without me really noticing it, though my parents tried their best to encourage me to celebrate. The day after that wasn't a school day, so I decided to go out to the hut, my first visit since Zephan got beaten up. Imagine my surprise when I found him there, curled up on the pillows, a look of desolation on his face.

[Calluna]

I panicked, remembering what her mother had said, and blurted out 'Don't tell your parents I'm here!' struggling to try and get up. She quickly stepped inside, closing the door, and bustled over, helping me get into a seated position, with me leaning over first one way, then the other, trying my best to help her. She took a cushion, and flopped down on it, opposite me, her expression a mixture of happiness and worry that brought a lump to my throat. I began finger combing her hair, trying to soothe her, and lowered my head to think. Somehow, I had to explain. I'd seen the terrified look on her face when she saw me, and I knew that for a few moments, she'd been as frightened of me as she was of Kellan. The words came tumbling out before I had chance to register what I was saying. 'I almost died inside when I saw what Kellan was doing, Calluna... I couldn't live with myself if I stood by and watched you get hurt. You're my little treasure, did you know that? Those others... my so called 'friends'... they aren't friends at all... I know that now.' She didn't reply, she just began to stroke my hair gently, as if in forgiveness and understanding. I sighed heavily, and took her other hand in both of mine, knowing that we were both in need of reassurance.

As I looked up again, she gave a sad little smile, and began to cry. I just leaned my forehead against hers, and closed my eyes, allowing my own tears to come. We sat there, silent and still, for a long, long while, no words needing to be spoken. She was first to break the silence, telling me what had happened to her that day, how she'd been dragged outside, and what the gang had done to her. She told me how she'd run home, and of overhearing her parents conversation after they got home that night. For my part, I told her how I'd thought she was safe, just hiding from the teacher, and that had I known, I would have done anything to prevent the attack from happening. We spoke about our parents, and how they'd reacted to the attack, though I kept her mother's words to myself. And I remember us both saying, over and over, 'I'm so scared...' After that, no more words would come, and we both fell silent.

In the silence, my thoughts kept churning, analysing that day, and everything that had followed. My head began swimming, and at one point, I thought I was going to faint. And then, as if from nowhere, everything suddenly came into focus, with absolute clarity.  I initially thought I'd stood up to Kellan because I wanted to do the right thing. But it was much much more than that. I knew then, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would do anything to defend Calluna, even if that meant sacrificing myself. That was the reason I'd stood up to Kellan, not out of any altruism, but because he was hurting her, and that was the one thing in this world I couldn't bear. It was then I came to the realisation that she'd had me wrapped around her little finger since she was tiny. That thought filled me with an incredible warmth, and a feeling of utter peace brought tears to my eyes. I opened my mouth then, to tell her... well I don't know what I would have said, but I felt an incredible urge to speak. At that moment, the hut door burst open, and my father strode inside, his face a mask of fear, worry, and anger. He didn't speak a word to either of us. He simply picked me up off the cushions, and walked out without a backwards glance, taking me home.

[Calluna]

“Don't tell your parents I'm here!” he blurted, trying to shuffle himself into a seated position. His face was mottled with fading bruises, yellow and green, and he seemed to be having trouble moving quickly. I rushed over, trying to help him to sit up, not the easiest of tasks when you're small. Between us, we managed to get him settled on the cushions, and I sat opposite him, peering into his face, worried for him, and oh, so incredibly grateful to see him again. He reached over and started finger combing my hair, lowering his head and speaking in a low, controlled-sounding voice. “I almost died inside when I saw what Kellan was doing, Calluna... I couldn't live with myself if I stood by and watched you get hurt. You're my little treasure, did you know that? Those others... my so called 'friends'... they aren't friends at all... I know that now.” In reply, I said nothing, instead reaching out to finger comb his hair in an attempt to soothe him, as he had done so often for me when I was tiny. He gave a shuddery sounding sigh, and took my free hand in both of his, holding it tight.

I have no idea how long we sat there, even to this day. We were both silent at first, just taking comfort from not being alone. I couldn't even say who moved first, all I remember is my forehead gently resting against his, and both of us crying. We spoke for what seemed like hours, about the attack, about our parents, about how scared we were. After this, we were silent for a long while, once again just taking comfort in each other's company. In the silence, Zephan suddenly gave a loud sigh. I looked up, only to find him seemingly relaxing as if he'd suddenly been handed peace from some unknown source. I squeezed his hands, not knowing what else to do, and he peered into my face as though searching it and smiled a little, though tears began rolling down his cheeks. He took a breath, opening his mouth to speak, and the door burst open, slamming into the wooden wall beside it, making us both jump in fright. In the doorway stood his father, who stalked into the tiny hut, picking Zephan up bodily and walking out without a word. I didn't dare follow, and simply remained where I was, trailing slowly back home after I was sure they were gone.

[Calluna]

The next two weeks seemed to be filled with arguments. My parents had been thoroughly scared by coming home and finding me gone, and though my father had a good idea of where to find me, they'd still presumed the worst. There was more to it than that, however. My mother felt certain that I was too childish for my age, and that Calluna was squarely to blame. My father did protest at first, but my mother's vehemence eventually won through. 'You are thirteen! FAR too old to be playing childish games with someone five years your junior!' I did try to protest, and to tell her that I viewed Calluna as a younger sister, someone to be protected, but my words fell on deaf ears. My mother peered at me, and narrowed her eyes, studying me for a long, uncomfortable time, then threw her hands up, exasperated, turning away. My father gave a heavy sigh, and scowled, telling me 'It is high time you grew up, son. When I was your age, I was apprenticed. Now, it's your turn.  Anarylae has agreed to teach you the healer's trade.'

My life seemed to be filled with task after task from then on. I'd go to the healer's building with my parents every morning, and observe them tending their patients, taking notes so they could test me later. Anarylae, Calluna's mother, heaped more work onto me, giving me Crystal Way drills and exercises to practise and perfect. As the apprentice, I was also expected to keep the healer's building clean and tidy, packing away crates of supplies as they arrived, making sure that beds were made and floors were swept and mopped. I'd leave home before it got light every morning, and wouldn't trudge home until after it had started to get dark. There was no time outside my work for anything other than sleep, and the world seemed drained of all colour and vibrancy. Though this only lasted for a few short weeks, at the time, it seemed like half a lifetime.

After the drudgery of my first few apprenticed weeks, Anarylae said she'd be starting my formal training that evening after work. With this knowledge, the end of the day seemed to come quickly. Anarylae was planning on running my lessons at her house, and that meant I'd see Calluna again, for the first time since that day in the hut. Just before we left, however, she took me on one side. 'Your mother has asked me to keep you away from Calluna, Zephan. She thinks that spending time with her will make you lapse in your studies... I'm sorry, but I can't let you see her, not even in the house.' My mood crashed. How could they do this? I didn't understand why such a fuss was being made over a girl I'd known my whole life. We left for home, with my mother telling Anarylae that she'd send me over after we'd eaten. As we reached the top of the long hill, I saw Calluna, bounding over the grass as she used to when she was tiny, only to be pulled up short by her father. He explained the situation as I hung my head, not wanting her to see my face. After dinner, I went over for my lesson, only to find that Calluna had already been sent to bed. Whenever Anarylae wasn't looking, I stole glances at the curtained alcove I knew she slept in, hoping to catch a glimpse that Calluna was inside, but I saw nothing.

Over the course of the next year, my life seemed to consist of endless, routine-filled days. I'd rise before dawn, and fall asleep long after dark, weary and shaking, only to have to rise and repeat the process the following day. It felt like my parents were determined to work me into the ground. Calluna was little more than a wistful memory. I never saw her to speak to, and she seemed to be actively avoiding me whenever I actually had the time to glance up from my drudgery. At best, I'd see her out of the window, doing some domestic task, her glorious curls braided close to her head, giving her an odd, shorn appearance. Seeing her like that made me upset. She always looked sad, pre-occupied, and I could have sworn that she was thinner than I remember her being, giving her a brittle, easily breakable air, as though she might blow away in the wind. About a month before her birthday, though, it seemed as if she'd been given a little more freedom, and I'd see her in the garden, plucking at the grass idly, or standing at the clearing's edge, staring out in the direction of our little hut.

[Calluna]

Two weeks passed by, during which I was grounded, having got back late that night. Zephan still hadn't reappeared at school, and I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever see him again. I visited the little hut whenever I dared, but he wasn't there either. Then, as I got home from school one evening, I spotted my parents strolling along the road, chatting with Zephan's parents, and behind them, a weary looking Zephan. Unthinking, I ran right out of the house, down the road, and skidded to a halt in front of the group, out of breath. “Back home, young lady,” said my father. “We're having an early dinner tonight, and then your mother will be going over Zephan's lessons with him.”
“Lessons? What lessons?” I asked, looking between my mother and Zephan, confused. Where had he been? Why wasn't he in school? So many questions, and no answers. But as I found out, our parents were trying to push him down a path he didn't want to follow.

That night, in our tiny house, I was sent to bed early, right after dinner, in fact. To say I resented this was an understatement to say the least. Zephan was right there, on the other side of the curtain, and yet, I wasn't even permitted to be in the same room as he was. Instead, I was sent to bed like a baby. I don't know how long I laid there, wide awake, listening to his voice in the main room. My mother was teaching him the healer's trade, at the request of his parents. They were alarmed by his recklessness in wanting to be a hunter, not knowing that he hadn't been attacked by some random beast, and were determined to find a more peaceful trade for him. That explained his removal from school, the fact I rarely saw him, everything. After he left that night, I cried myself to sleep, making sure to stay quiet, not wanting my parents to hear me.

A year went by, and I saw less and less of Zephan. My only real comfort was the training sessions he had at our house, because then at least I could hear his voice. Our parents seemed determined to keep us as separated as possible, heaping chores on me after school, and insisting I went to bed before he set foot in the house. His fourteenth birthday came around, and I wasn't even allowed to personally hand over the gift I'd made for him. Instead, my mother told me she'd give it to him during his next training session. After that, though, things seemed to ease, at least for me. My parents stopped overloading me with chores, and I was allowed a little more freedom. Zephan, on the other hand, looked more and more tired and withdrawn when I saw him at our house, barely even looking at me. I still had early bedtimes when he was there, and it seemed as though he had forgotten me.

[Calluna]

I'd managed to sneak out of the house a few times before her birthday, gathering charmflowers in the dark, and pressing them so they'd last, putting them into a simple little frame I'd managed to knock together from some scrap wood I'd found. Although my carpentry skills were far from good, I was happy with the result, thinking she could keep it, so she'd always have flowers. I knew that neither her parents or mine would allow me to give the gift to her personally, and so, on the day itself, I approached Anarylae, offering her the gift instead. 'This is for Calluna. I know its her birthday. I know I can't see her.... I just wanted to get her something nice...' Anarylae gave me a sunny, bright smile, and nodded. 'Zephan... I'd like to conduct another lesson after lunch. In fact, we should be going. The house is quieter than here.' She didn't take the gift from me, in fact, she didn't even mention it, or thank me. My heart sank lower than I remember it ever being, and I followed her all the way to the clearing, numbly, my spurned gift still dangling from my hand.

When we reached the house, Anarylae opened the door, looked inside, then turned to me and smiled. 'There's someone in here who would very much like a visit from you, Zephan.' she said, then crossed the threshold. I followed, a little hesitantly, standing just inside the door, as she crossed to the alcove and shook Calluna's shoulder. 'Calluna? Calluna! Wake up, I have a surprise for you...' she said, her voice warm. Calluna simply jerked her shoulder out of Anarylae's hand, refusing to acknowledge her. I took a hesitant step forward, and cleared my throat. 'Happy Birthday Treas...um....' Calluna started to turn her head, and then, out of nowhere, a childish joy flooded through me, and I grinned, unable to stop myself. I've never seen anyone move so fast! She saw me, and then, she seemed to be on her feet without actually getting to them, simply springing up from the bed, staring at me, then her mother, a flash of hope in her eyes. Anarylae broke the rather stunned silence, chuckling and saying 'Well, go on, get out of here! And enjoy your birthday!' I grabbed Calluna's hand, unable to believe my luck, and ran out the door with her before Anarylae changed her mind.

I don't think I've ever experienced anything quite like that afternoon. We ran wildly, until I spotted a tree with deep moss beneath it, flopping down and pulling Calluna down to sit beside me. She folded her arms around one of mine, I took her hand... and we just sat. No idle chatter, no catching up, no deep and meaningful conversation. Somehow, none of that seemed necessary. She cried, silently, the tears rolling down her face, while her expression changed from sad to happy. I just nodded, showing her I understood, and wiped her face gently when the tears stopped flowing. It was as though the rest of the world had melted away. Nothing else seemed necessary, and I would have been more than content to stay there forever. A small part of me didn't understand this. Here I was, fourteen, and I suddenly realised that my feelings went much deeper than a need to protect Calluna. I thought back to when I'd realised that she had me wrapped around her little finger, and it was only then that I managed to put a name on what I was feeling. I was shocked at myself, but the feeling didn't go away.

I found myself dwelling on all the times I'd spent with her, right from the first day we met, and how entranced I was by her tiny, delicate stature. My head span with it all, and still the feeling didn't fade. If anything, it grew more intense, overwhelming me until I could barely think. Still I shied away from admitting that what I felt was what I'd already recognized it to be. Instead, I made a deliberate effort to calm myself down. That's when I made a vow to myself, that no matter what, when she was finally old enough, I'd marry her, if she'd have me. There would never be anyone else for me, my heart was already utterly hers. It was then that I heard noises coming from a gap in the trees. I looked up, ready to grab Calluna's hand and run, but then, my mother appeared, walking towards us, her expression livid.

[Calluna]

My ninth birthday came around, and my mother spent the morning looking extremely conspiratorial. Though I was upset, having been sent to bed for one of Zephan's training sessions the previous night, her mood did pique my curiosity, and she kept smiling at me until finally, I smiled back. She had work to do late that morning, and was bustling around getting ready, leaving me sitting in my alcove with the curtain pulled back, so I didn't get in her way. As she was about to leave, she turned to me and said “There's something I meant to return to you. Over there, on the other bed.” With that, she left, closing the door behind her. I slowly clambered out of my alcove, walking around to theirs. On their bed sat the gift I'd made for Zephan's birthday, unopened. I picked it up, took it back to my alcove, and burst into tears. How could she? After getting my hopes up for a nice day, she'd given me the one thing that could crush my fragile good mood into dust! I suppose I should have trusted her, but at the time, I felt like I'd just been flattened utterly.

By the time my mother returned, it was early afternoon. I'd cried up a storm, and finally fallen asleep, clutching Zephan's birthday gift tightly and curled into a ball. She placed her hand on my shoulder, and gently shook it. “Calluna? Calluna! Wake up, I have a surprise for you...” I'm ashamed to admit it, but I jerked my shoulder out of her grasp, not wanting to celebrate my birthday after what I perceived as her cruel trick of earlier. Then came a voice I'd recognize anywhere. “Happy Birthday Treas...um....” Stunned, I slowly turned my head, and sure enough, there was Zephan, a gift package in his hands, and a boyish grin on his face. I don't know how I managed to get to my feet so quickly, but without my realising, there I was, on my feet, staring between him and my mother, speechless. My mother was the one who broke the happy silence with a, “Well, go on, get out of here! And enjoy your birthday!” We didn't need telling twice, heading into the forest at a dead run, laughing as though we were four and nine again.

That afternoon was idyllic. The sun was shining, and the earth smelled the same as my memory of our arrival in the village. We spent most of it quietly, Zephan leaning against a tree, holding my hand, me leaning my head on his shoulder, just the same as if I'd taken a tumble and he was soothing away my tears. I know I cried that afternoon, only to have my tears wiped away gently. Our gifts sat on the grass beside us, unopened and forgotten. It might sound strange when I write it, but it was that afternoon when I first realised that what I felt went deeper than any crush. Back then I couldn't put a name on it, I just knew I didn't want to be alone while Zephan was in the world. I don't recall us talking much. I'm sure we did, but the conversation is one I have no memory of. All I remember is how safe I felt with my hand enveloped in Zephan's.

After we'd been there a couple of hours, we heard movement in the trees up ahead of us, back towards the direction of the village. There were several wild creatures living there, so we didn't really think anything of it, remaining as we were. The noises came closer, and then, without warning, Zephan's mother came through a gap between the trees, her arms folded. Zephan sat up with a gasp of surprise, his face guilty, and tried to loosen his hand from mine. I almost burst into tears, knowing that it was over, and that we'd be separated for good this time. Closer and closer his mother came, her arms still folded, a stern, unyielding expression on her face. Eventually, she was standing directly in front of us, silent. Neither of us had any idea what to do, and for a moment, it seemed we were frozen in tableau, waiting for someone to speak first.

[Calluna]

No sooner had my mother reached the spot where we were sitting than Calluna's mother followed, coming through the same gap in the trees, calling my mother's name. She approached, and in the gentlest of voices, said, 'Soteria, they're not doing anything wrong. You know how miserable they've both been without each other, and I'm sure you'd rather see Zephan happy, just as I'd rather see Calluna with a smile on her face. Come on now, leave the children be.' My mother's livid expression softened, and she gave me a small, wistful smile before turning, and following Calluna's mother back through the gap in the trees. We were left to make our own way home, at our own speed, and somehow, I knew that our enforced separation was at an end.

After that day, we were allowed to spend time together again, even though we were both growing busier. We slowly began cleaning up the hut, which had reverted to its wild, overgrown, bug ridden state during our year apart. We'd spend most of the weekend down there, talking, fishing in the stream, though we never caught anything, and simply 'playing house' as my mother disparagingly termed it. I wasn't getting along well with my training, and longed to try my hand at being a hunter. Calluna was preparing for her move into the senior class, and was very nervous, still being small for her age. Despite her fears, she made the transition with no problems, and aside from still being a little scared of the teacher, she seemed to be managing reasonably well, as I thought she would. That was when we started talking about our feelings, as I recall. She was thirteen, pretty, and I wanted her to know how I felt before some other boy asked her on a date. I just never expected it to be so difficult!

The first barrier, of course, was our age difference. Five years might not seem a lot to most people, but when she was thirteen, I'd already had my eighteenth birthday. I was ready to go out and make my own way in the world, but she was still at school, and I worried that she would fear me, thinking I was like the other boys, who seemed to lead the girls her age along, only wanting one thing from them, that not being any sort of relationship...The differences between us were marked. I was broad shouldered, and a few inches taller than even the tallest of Dermorians, and I towered over her. She had remained small and delicate, and it didn't look like she would grow any taller. I didn't want to frighten her, and so, my lips stayed firmly sealed, even though I felt it was only a matter of time before some other lucky boy would sweep her off her feet.

And then, there was my mother. She immediately suspected my secret, and spent every spare moment telling me I ought to find someone my own age. At work, she kept inviting girls to eat lunch with us, parading them in front of me with a supercilious look on her face that made me inwardly cringe. None of the girls she introduced me to ever hung around after those lunches, and none of them even interested me as people, either. There quite simply was no substitute under the Crystal for Calluna, despite my mother's best efforts. Eventually, she realized this, and those awkward lunches stopped. The arguments didn't, though. Every night, she'd hiss at me, asking 'Why haven't you found a nice girl to settle down with yet?' I must admit, I did nothing to improve her mood, because my reply was invariably, 'I -have- found a nice girl. I'm just waiting for her to grow up.'

[Calluna]

I huddled in on myself after that frozen moment, waiting for the coming storm. Zephan was trembling, and I could tell he was just as afraid as I was. It was then that we heard more rustling noises from the direction of the house, and my mother's voice shouting “Soteria?” She came through the same gap in the trees as Zephan's mother had, and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Soteria,” she said, “They're not doing anything wrong. You know how miserable they've both been without each other, and I'm sure you'd rather see Zephan happy, just as I'd rather see Calluna with a smile on her face. Come on now, leave the children be.” Zephan's mother glanced down at us once more, her expression softening, and she turned away, allowing my mother to lead her from the clearing.

After we got home that day, things eased for us considerably. Though Zephan still attended his lessons with my mother, and I had school work to do, our parents reached an understanding, and we were allowed some time at weekends to do as we pleased. So came the long conversations. We'd pack enough food for a whole day, and go down to the hut for a talk. The place had grown dusty in our absence, and we spent the first few weekends getting it clean again. After that, we'd just talk. Zephan confided in me that he was struggling with the healer's training, and still longed to be a hunter, and I told him where I was struggling with school work. Time rolled by, and soon enough, I was in the senior class, and beginning to fill out somewhat. Zephan had grown tall and solid built, and I began feeling like something of a midget beside him, not even reaching his shoulder any more.