Zephan and Calluna's tale.

[Calluna]

A couple of years had passed by then, and I still hadn't openly told Calluna how I felt about her. She had hinted at her feelings for me, and I'd responded with hints of my own, but neither of us had openly declared what we both felt. She was on the verge of fifteen, and I'd just turned twenty. I still thought she was too young, and that us getting together would cause a scandal, not to mention that she needed to concentrate on school. I hadn't heard of her dating anyone, which made me privately exultant. Selfishly, I wanted to be the only one who ever had that privilege. It sounds so arrogant to say, but it wasn't that I wanted to keep her to myself for my sake, but for hers. I knew I'd never break her heart, I just didn't want anyone else breaking it, either. I wondered if there would ever be a 'right time' to be open with her about how I felt, and then, something happened which made the timing perfect, though even now, I would have preferred a gentler approach to that moment.

The weekend after my twenty-first birthday, we'd decided to go down to the hut for one of our long and involved talks. We'd been doing this for quite a while, and took it in turns to bring along enough food for the day, still dipping water from the stream when we felt thirsty. It happened to be Calluna's turn, and she'd gone to get fresh bread from the village, telling me she'd see me at the hut. I still regret not walking into the village with her, though maybe if I had, the 'right time' wouldn't have presented itself. Who knows? Regardless, I set out for the hut, taking what food she'd already packed, and spent the wait plumping cushions and generally tidying the place. I'd just decided to go out and pick some flowers for her when she burst through the door at a dead run, slamming right into my chest and flinging her arms around me. The surprise almost knocked me off balance, but I managed to steady us both somehow, asking her what had happened.

She looked up at me, wild eyed, and squeaked 'Kellan!' That one name told me all I needed to know. I scooped her up, not wanting to let her go, and closed the door firmly. She was shaking like a leaf in the wind, and clinging to me, so I said, 'I won't let him hurt you any more, Treasure... Never again.' I turned to set her on her feet, then, before I was aware I was doing it, I leaned in and placed the gentlest kiss I could manage on her lips. Kellan must have thoroughly scared her, though, because as soon as I let go of her, she stumbled, as though her legs had quite simply given way beneath her. I managed to prevent her from falling, and carried her over to the cushions, so I could make sure she wasn't hurt.

'Did he hurt you?' I asked, growing more worried by the second as she sat there, staring wide eyed at me. She shook her head quickly, and as the relief flooded into me, she said 'You kissed me!' I was stunned. I hadn't realised that I'd actually kissed her... I'd imagined that particular moment for so long, it didn't occur to me that I'd made it a reality. It took me a few seconds to replay the moment before I replied, 'Uh... yes... I've wanted to for a long time, its just that...um... I didn't know if you'd want me to...' all the while inwardly kicking myself for sounding so gauche, and for losing control enough to kiss her without telling her how I felt beforehand. Then, she whispered something that made my stomach turn excited flip-flops. 'I've wanted you to for a long time now.' I took a deep breath, and sighed, then explained to her that I'd feel guilty about starting a relationship with her while she was still at school, not to mention the fact that I couldn't support us both. She insisted everything would work out fine, but agreed that at the very least, she ought to finish her exams before we pursued our feelings for one another any further.

[Calluna]

The weekend after Zephan had just turned twenty-one, we'd arranged to go to the hut for another one of our talks, as was our long ingrained habit by now. There was no bread in the house, and as it was my turn to pack food, I ushered Zephan to go on ahead, while I went into the village to buy a few small loaves. The day was pleasant, and there were several people around the square, talking, bargaining and bartering. I headed for the bakery, not wanting to keep Zephan waiting too long. I'd almost reached the door when I tripped over something, and landed on my knees. Sighing, I went to get up, intending to berate myself for my clumsiness and dust myself off, but a sneering voice froze me to the spot, chilling my blood. “Where's your boyfriend, freak?” Kellan. My insides turned to ice, and I didn't answer.

Somehow, I managed to stumble to my feet and run, blindly sprinting across the square and up towards my parents home. I still don't know whether he followed me or not, but knowing my parents were out, I ran past, and straight down to the little hut, wrenching the door open and crashing into a surprised Zephan, flinging my arms around him. “What happened?” he exclaimed, catching me and steadying himself before we both toppled over. “Kellan!” I squeaked, looking worriedly up at him. His face darkened, and his arms tightened around me. Rather than letting go, he simply picked me up, crossed to the door and pulled it closed. “I won't let him hurt you any more, Treasure... Never again.”, he said. Then, in one fluid motion, he turned from the door, set me carefully on my feet, leaned in and gave me the most gentle of kisses. He had to pick me up again directly afterwards, because my knees promptly turned to water on the spot, and he carried me to the cushions, setting me down there instead, looking worried.

“Did he hurt you?” Zephan asked, scanning my face, his eyes clouded and his expression troubled. I managed to shake my head, then smiled up at him. “You kissed me!” I said, inwardly berating myself for stating the obvious. “Uh... yes” he replied, looking rather sheepish. “I've wanted to for a long time, its just that...um... I didn't know if you'd want me to...” I almost laughed, but managed to simply smile and whisper, “I've wanted you to for a long time now.” And then, if you can believe it, we talked! Zephan seemed keen to make something of himself before my schooling was done, and then there was the fact that I did need to pass exams. We decided not to take things any further until I turned sixteen. Back then, I thought those were going to be the longest few months of my life. How mistaken I was...

[Calluna]

When I got home that night, my mother immediately started yet another argument. Only this time, I felt confident enough to argue back. It didn't go down well. She kept berating me for not finding someone my own age, and I kept insisting that it was Calluna or nobody. As if that wasn't bad enough, though, I blurted out that I wouldn't be finishing my healer's training, as I wanted to be able to provide a home for Calluna and I as soon as possible. I've never seen my mother so angry. She yelled at me so loud I could barely make out a word she said, and then began throwing things at me, telling me to get out of her house. I stood there, letting her push me backwards until I was in the doorway, and then, I calmly turned, and went to spend the night in the hut. No matter what my mother thought, I'd made my decision. Calluna, or nobody.

It was my father who smoothed things over somewhat. Though relations between my mother and I remained tense, she never ordered me out of the house again during an argument. That said, there were times when I'd go and spend the night down there anyway, sick of all the shouting. The only reasons she could ever give for me not being with Calluna were the ones I'd discussed already with Calluna herself, so essentially, she was yelling at me for something I agreed with her on. I never did get the chance to tell her that, though, she rarely let me speak, simply venting her frustrations on me every time she could. We managed to put on a more united front for Calluna's sixteenth birthday, going over to her house for a meal as a family, although I was relieved when my parents decided to go home early. Calluna asked me why I looked so irritated after they'd gone, but I refused to tell her about the arguments, not wanting to spoil her day.

It would have been a month later when Calluna was due to graduate. I'd told her that we needed to talk, and said I'd be there to collect her from school. As I was getting ready to leave, though, my mother stopped me, blocking the doorway of our house, and screaming at me. Again, she'd worked herself up into such a frenzy that I could barely make out what she was saying. All of a sudden, I started to get annoyed. I'd never done anything wrong, and surely my mother, of all people, ought to know what kind of person I was! She advanced on me, still yelling, and I quite simply side-stepped her, and walked out of the door. As I reached the edge of the clearing, I broke into an easy, loping run, knowing I was late.

Running down the hill made me feel free. Calluna was done with her schooling, and finally... finally we could start making plans for the future. I increased my speed, just to enjoy the wind whipping my hair behind me. That's when I reached the village square, and noticed Calluna, backing into the school doorway, and Kellan, advancing on her. Without breaking stride, I sprinted the final few yards over to the school, lifting my arm up straight, and charged directly into Kellan, my fist connecting hard with his jaw, knocking him off his feet like a falling tree. I dived straight after him, swinging punches with both fists, every pent-up emotion I'd bottled adding to the force of each swing. He recovered faster than I'd expected, though, and began retaliating, giving me a few hard punches in the face. A red mist seemed to settle over my vision, and I grabbed his hair, smashing his face into the floor. To this day, I'm grateful that we were in the school yard, because if the teachers hadn't pulled us apart, I don't think I would have been able to stop hitting him. As it was, I managed to wrestle free, punching him a few more times before I suddenly realised what I'd done. With that, my hands flopped to my sides, and the teachers led me away, leaving Calluna standing on the steps alone. Kellan, at least, had the good sense to realise he couldn't do anything to her then, and walked away, his gait uneven.

[Calluna]

The fights began almost immediately. Zephan went home that day and told his parents he could make better money hunting than he could healing. When they asked why, he was honest with them, telling them how he wanted to be ready for when I was old enough to consider settling down. You could hear the yelling clear across to my house, and my parents asked me some very pointed questions. I did answer truthfully, but I was worried they'd try and keep us apart again. Things seemed to settle down to a simmer, although there were a few nights when we'd hear yelling and the occasional breaking of crockery. Then came my sixteenth birthday. It passed pleasantly enough, though I noticed that Zephan was wearing one of his more sullen expressions until his parents went home. For the first time, he refused to talk about it, saying he didn't want to worry me, which, of course, only made me worry even more. The next month flew by, and I managed to do myself credit in my tests. The last day of school seemed to sneak up on me while I wasn't looking.

Zephan had said he would be waiting for me outside, so we could have a little celebration. As for me, I was looking forward to the relative freedom being out of school would bring me, and I was secretly hoping that the last day of school would mean that Zephan and I could pick up from that shy little kiss so many months ago, and see where it led us. I opened the school door, wanting to savour my last crossing of the threshold, and paused, looking outside for Zephan. Instead, I saw Kellan, who approached me with a sour looking grin, cracking his knuckles. “Hello, freak.” he said, looking me up and down. “Ugh, there's barely enough of you to make a whole person, is there? No challenge at all.” I began slowly backing inside, intending to run and find one of the teachers. Kellan smirked at me, then, out of nowhere, a blurred figure knocked him to the ground. Zephan had arrived to collect me, just in time.

They writhed in the dust, trading punches, Kellan's height offset by Zephan's solid frame. I covered my face, not wanting to look, but somehow unable to look away. At first, it seemed as though Kellan had the upper hand, however, this quickly changed, and I had the dubious privilege to witness Zephan holding Kellan's hair and pounding his face into the floor. I must have let out a squeal, because suddenly, two of the teaching staff raced past me, bursting through the doors to break up the fight. Zephan tried to wrestle them off, and even landed another few punches on Kellan's already swollen face, but then, the fight seemed to drain out of him, and he allowed the teachers to pull him away, leaving Kellan to pick himself up. He turned to me and gave me the nastiest grin I think I've ever seen, then walked away, holding his side. I walked home alone, knowing this meant disaster for any plans Zephan and I might have had for the foreseeable future.

[Calluna]

I was escorted to the council buildings, and locked in a cell. Over the next few days, I was questioned by the council over and over again. I answered all their questions with complete truthfulness, but none of them seemed to believe a word I said. Food was brought, which I didn't eat, and day and night-time alike found me unable to sleep. I was sure that I would be sent into the Crystal. After all, I'd attacked the chief's son, and he'd definitely come out much worse than me. I did have a black eye, and my lip was swollen, but according to my father, his injuries were so bad that it took two days before anyone even recognized him. Oddly, I didn't feel guilty about that. The guilt that kept me from sleeping at nights was how badly I'd failed Calluna. Now, I wouldn't be there to protect her, and there would be no future together.

I still don't quite know what happened, but after four or five days of being locked in that cell, my parents came to collect me. I was free to go, it seemed, although my father told me that I'd been bound to stay away from Kellan from now on. My mother, on the other hand, used the entire incident against me. She spent an entire week screaming at me, telling me how worthless I was and irresponsibly I'd acted, and how I'd never make a fit husband for any woman if I behaved like a brute. I was so beaten by this point, I started to believe her. How could I possibly provide any sort of life for Calluna if I reacted like this when she was threatened? She needed me to be dependable, not to solve problems with my fists! I had to get away, so she at least had a chance at finding someone who didn't react to everything by starting a fight. It hurt terribly, but I knew that I had no choice. I had to let her go. As I came to this decision, my mother broke me from my thoughts with that same phrase she'd said a few years before. 'Get out of my house!' I looked from her to my father, who refused to look me in the eye. It seemed, from his silence, that he was backing her up. I didn't even protest, or stop to collect anything. I just walked out of the door, not stopping to look back. There was nothing left for me there now, anyway.

[Calluna]

The next few days went by in a haze. I'm sure if I'd collected my tears, I could have filled a lake. There was talk of sending Zephan into the Crystal, after all, Kellan was the village chief's son, and nobody believed me when I said he was threatening me, and Zephan had rushed to my defence. Only my mother seemed to see the truth in my words, speaking quietly to me after my father was asleep, asking me questions about when Zephan had been beaten bloody, all those years ago. I told her that Zephan had defended me back then, too, and she promised to speak with the village council on his behalf. After she had, things seemed to quieten down, and Zephan and Kellan were merely warned to stay well away from one another, the fight chalked up to young males being young males. Zephan's parents took this injunction to heart, and practically locked him in their house. I didn't see him for almost a week, and the arguments echoed through the night again.

Then, after that week, there were two, maybe three nights of utter silence. I wondered what was going on, but I didn't dare ask, not even my mother, who seemed to be very sad about something. She didn't even acknowledge me when I asked about beginning my healing lessons, simply saying “later.” and carrying on with what she was doing. There were a few times when I saw Zephan's mother scurrying out of the house, but she never stopped, even when she'd clearly seen I was there. Finally, I decided to go over and ask what had happened, and where Zephan had gone. I knocked on the door, and waited. After what seemed like forever, his mother came to the door. “I know why you're here.” she said. Without waiting for my reply, she went on, “Zephan has left. As far as I know, he won't be coming back.” She closed the door in my face at that point, and left me standing on her doorstep, staring at the door in shock.

What could I do? With no shred of hope to go on, no indication as to where Zephan had gone, and no way of defending myself, I hadn't a chance of travelling to find him. I was trapped in the village, alone, and it felt like my heart had been ripped out. I scurried between Healers' Hall and home like a frightened animal, too scared to walk at a normal pace, in case Kellan happened to be feeling callous that day. There was more than once I didn't make it home in one piece. Kellan had taken to hiding somewhere along the few routes I could take to get home, and seemed to take delight in jumping out on me and punching me in the face. I soon learned to hide my bruises under my hair. The bloody noses were a little more difficult, as was the time he hit me over the head with a stick. I grew quite skilful at covering the bumps and abrasions, and took to wearing either long pants or a long dress to hide the lumps where I'd been kicked, or tripped.

It was no kind of life, but there seemed to be no way out, either. I'd travel home with a colleague, only for us to go our separate ways to our doors and find Kellan sitting outside, waiting for me right in the open, knowing my parents weren't there to witness what he was doing. He'd make sure that there were no witnesses, so it was his word against mine, and after what had happened between him and Zephan, the council made it clear that they would side with him, nodding politely my way and saying things like “My my, tripped again, did you?” I grew increasingly desperate for it all to just end, and I began making plans to vanish, and get as far away as I could, not knowing if I could even survive the journey. I started sneaking supplies down to the hut at night, trusting that the location was secure and hoping that my parents would somehow understand.

[Calluna]

I travelled the slow way to Hydlaa, and hired myself out as a messenger boy. It made me enough money to eat, and sleep safe, but nothing in reserve. At first, I didn't really care. I felt despondent, as though I had nothing to live for. Existing suited me fine, and I was determined to do penance in my exile, hoping that somehow, Calluna would know. And then, for the first time, I began making friends. Real friends, who helped me learn new skills and grow strong. I was finally starting to turn into the hunter I'd always wanted to be, and I even started to grasp the Crystal Way. I learned how to mine, and soon, I started to accumulate savings. Not much at first, but the pile soon grew. Oddly, the fact that I had extra money brought my hope alive again, and I often found myself daydreaming of going to the village, and sweeping Calluna off her feet, and yet, something held me back from making the journey back home.

I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I think I was scared of what I might find at the village. I didn't want to go back, only to find Calluna had fallen in love with someone else. My mother's words still rang in my ears at those times, and I didn't want to lose control and hit someone Calluna was perfectly happy with. I loved her far too much for that. And so, I stayed away, harbouring my secret hopes. Eventually, I made a niche for myself in the hunting community, and the sheer volume of work took the edge off my longing for a life with her that would probably never be. I learned to distract myself out of my daydreams, and to never grow too close to anyone, wanting to hold myself to the vow I'd made years before. Calluna, or nobody. When I slept, though, my dreams tormented me. I imagined all kinds of horrible things that might have befallen her, or that she'd been married off to someone she didn't like, let alone love. Soon enough, I became a light sleeper, not wanting those dreams to wake me up sobbing any more. By this time, I'd been gone for six years.

[Calluna]

I'd set myself a date when I planned to run, telling nobody, and still hoping that the hut was a safe place to start from. The week I'd planned arrived, and I started getting increasingly nervous, to the point I couldn't rest, pacing the house and chewing my lip. It was that week when a friend of my mother's arrived for a visit. Her husband was a merchant, and they spent their time travelling between the levels, bringing much needed supplies to the various villages. She and my mother seemed to be constantly chattering, and they went to visit Zephan's parents more than once. The day before I'd planned to run, my mother took me aside, telling me she needed to ask me a huge favour. I obliged, of course, and we went to the back of the house, where we could speak in relative privacy.

She told me that her friend had seen Zephan several times on her trips to the Dome, in the city of Hydlaa, and also in Ojaveda. Zephan's mother wanted to know if he lived, and despite my mother's friend assuring her of the fact many times, she refused to believe it until someone from the village had confirmed it. My mother had suggested I go and find out, and Zephan's mother had agreed, desperate for any news. I was to travel with the merchant caravan, and seek out Zephan. The thought filled me with a sense of foreboding. He'd been gone six years. I didn't want to find out he had a wife somewhere, probably children, a home, a life. And yet, this was the ideal opportunity to escape from Kellan. Needless to say, I agreed to go, and spent most of the remainder of that night collecting my things from the hut, under the plausible excuse of packing while my parents slept.

My trips back and forth took until it was almost dawn. I was exhausted, but happy to finally be escaping the nightmare. I made my way down to the hut one more time, to collect the cushions Zephan and I had pilfered so many years ago. They were threadbare and hadn't been sat on in years, but somehow I felt the need to leave the place as we'd initially found it, minus the dust and spiders. As I approached the hut, I noticed the door was ajar. Initially I didn't think anything of it, as I'd been trekking back and forth long enough not to care. I'd been careful about closing the door at first, but I thought I must have left it off the latch by mistake. Shrugging, I went inside to collect the tatty old cushions, smiling wistfully and wishing Zephan were there.

As I turned to close the door, I heard a chuckle that made my insides flip over in fear. Kellan! I don't quite know what possessed me, or where I got the strength from, but as his hand wrapped around the door, I slammed it as hard as I could, then slammed it again, and again, and again, until I heard a howl of pain, and a rustling and cracking of branches, that sounded like someone running, fading into the distance. Shaken, I managed to collect the cushions, and made my way back to the house on wobbly legs, not really caring if he was still out there, just wanting to get home, and leave the village. I made it home without any further incident, and my mother's friend arrived not ten minutes after I'd flopped down in front of the dying embers of the fire.

I clambered into the wagon, exhausted, after kissing my parents goodbye, and settled down in the blankets I'd brought, too tired to even notice when we moved off. I don't know how long we travelled, because the combination of my relief at leaving, plus the adrenalin of the dawn and my sheer tiredness knocked me out cold, and I slept for most of the journey. When we arrived at the Bronze Doors, however, my mother's friend woke me, and pointed me down the hill. It seemed a celebration was taking place, and standing there, at the back of the assembled crowd, was a figure I could recognize amongst a million Dermorians. Surely in six long years, he has found someone special, I thought. With a heavy heart, I trudged down the hill to fulfil my duty, and deliver the message from his mother. After that, I didn't much care where I went, as long as it was far away from Kellan, somewhere where I'd be safe.

[Calluna]

And then, at the wedding, there she was. Alone. I had no idea what to say to her. So much had happened since I saw her last, I had no clue where to start. All I could think of was our hut, where we used to talk for hours, and so, the first thing out of my mouth was 'We need to talk.' I'd decided to go and find a quiet spot anyway by then, and I held my hand out to her, inviting her to come along. She walked right by me, not taking my hand, and I had to run after her for a few paces in order to lead her somewhere we could talk without being overheard by any passers by. I had a feeling it wasn't going to go well. She seemed like a tiny bundle of pent-up fury, her eyes crackling with rage, and her fists balled up with tension.

I was right. As soon as we'd begun to walk, she lashed out at me verbally, accusing me of abandoning her, of leaving her there to be beaten, of not caring, of lying about how I felt... It felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. I stood there, finding it hard to breathe, unable to reply. She wanted to leave, she said, and not return to the village. I could hardly believe what I was hearing, but at the same time, I couldn't blame her. I -had- abandoned her, and left her there to be beaten. My parents hadn't given me a choice, but I could have at least waited for her in the hut for a day or two... Racked with guilt, I offered to escort her to Hydlaa, thinking that I could use some of my savings to help her get started on a new life, so she wouldn't have to worry about how she was going to feed herself until she managed to get established. Then, I imagined, I'd fade from her life, debt paid, and she'd never want to see me again. As for me, I didn't know what I'd do, but at that moment, the only thing that mattered was her.

On the journey back to Hydlaa, we managed to hold a far more civilized conversation. I told her about my life there, and about how I'd managed to carve myself a place as a hunter, just like I'd wanted. I told her that outside the village, I'd had no trouble in making friends. At that, she fell silent, her face solemn, and her eyes so sad I wanted to fold her into a hug and never let go. I asked her why she was so upset, more than once, but she never gave me a reply, just shaking her head, or changing the subject. It hurt me to see the haunted look in her eyes, but it seemed there was nothing I could do to cheer her up, even though I tried to keep talking to her. Finally, we arrived in Hydlaa, and I took her to Kada-El's, just to get something to wash the travel dust from our throats. Once we were a little more refreshed, I told her I was going to find somewhere quiet for her to sleep, and we walked back out into the darkening city.

As we walked, I sensed her hesitate, more than once. She'd said several times that she wanted to pay her own way, and I kept reassuring her that she would be able to in time. I thought she was about to make the same complaint again, and I almost stumbled over my own feet when she asked, 'So, is there someone special in your new life?' I still don't know why, but instead of telling the truth, I gave her a smile, and murmured the reply, 'Yes, there is, but she doesn't seem to know it.' She smiled in return, and said 'Well, you should tell her how you feel, then! How is she meant to know unless you say something to her?' I couldn't reply to that. It seemed as if she was preparing to brush me out of her life entirely. Instead of an emptiness, however, I felt filled with purpose. If Calluna wanted to forge ahead on her own, then the least I could do was to make sure she had the training needed so she could survive.

[Calluna]

To say Zephan was surprised to see me would be a huge understatement. He just -stood- there, staring at me like I was a ghost. In a way, I suppose I was. The teenager he'd abandoned in his home village, standing in front of him as an adult, six years after he'd walked away in the middle of the night. He didn't appear to know what to say, so I quickly delivered my message, fully intending to leave directly afterwards. But then he uttered the dreadful phrase 'We need to talk.' After so many years, and so many conversations, that simple little phrase tore me in two. I wanted to run as far and as fast as my legs would carry me, but I longed for the way we used to sit and talk for hours, forgetting anything but our conversation. Begrudgingly, I agreed to talk to him, and after the celebration had finished, he led me to the nearest quiet spot.

As soon as we'd set out, the years of trying to hide from Kellan without him there boiled up inside me, and instead of sitting and talking, I lit into him with anger, hissing and shouting like the worst kind of fishwife. I screamed, cried, threw a tantrum, and through it all, he was quiet, his face growing more and more pained and sad. I don't know how long I vented my frustrations on him for, but by the time I was finished, I was actually tired, as though I'd physically thrown each word at him. And still, he was silent and sad, waiting for me to finish ranting. Finally, I fell silent too, my anger dissipating as I saw how sad I'd made him. We sat in silence for a while, but not the comfortable silence of before. For the first time ever, I actually felt uncomfortable in his presence. I couldn't wait to leave.

After I had calmed down enough to speak in a normal tone of voice, I asked him if he planned on visiting his parents, to reassure them. He sighed, and said he would, then asked what I planned to do. I told him I would be leaving, to try and find my own way in the world. He looked indescribably sad, and for a moment, I almost regretted what I'd said. I almost blurted out that I never wanted to leave his side again, but the thought of our six years apart stopped me. He was a fully grown man when he'd left, and I was just a silly teenager. Obviously he'd have moved on, and after all, we'd only ever shared one single kiss, brief, and easily forgotten. He insisted on escorting me to Hydlaa, where I'd be safe, and find work. I agreed to this, thinking he'd leave me at some inn, and that then I could try to build a life from nothing, and move forward, even if I'd never truly move on.

We took the journey to Hydlaa in easy stages, Zephan insisting on regular breaks so I could sit and rest. Although I didn't let him know it, I was grateful for those breaks. It seemed the hunter's life suited him, and he was far fitter than he'd been when he still lived in the village, easily outstripping me in stamina. We talked as we walked, and as we rested, and I found out that he'd managed to build himself a decent life in the city, and had made friends with several people. The knowledge made me uneasy, and more than a little sad. If he had friends, then surely he had someone special. I tried my best to hide how sad that made me, and cursed myself for taking so long to follow him, and for making such a mess of our reunion. Of course, Zephan knew I was sad. He even asked me why I looked so upset more than once, but I kept avoiding the question, not wanting him to know how strongly I still felt for him.

That evening, we arrived in Hydlaa. As we'd drawn nearer to the city walls, we'd fallen into that uncomfortable silence again, and I was dreading having to say goodbye. I had no money, practically no marketable skills, and nowhere to sleep. My only option would be to try and find someone willing to pay me to run messages, and hopefully make enough to pay for a room for the night. The further we walked into the city, the more I began to fear that I'd end up in some doorway, prey to whoever walked the night. Zephan led me to Kada-El's, and bought us both a drink. Clearly, he intended on staying with me, at least initially. Although I was grateful for his company, I felt a little guilty for taking him away from the life he'd built for himself. I tried to make the water pouch he'd handed me last for as long as possible, but it seemed to be gone far too quickly. Once Zephan had finished his drink too, he led me back out into the night, saying something about finding me a place to sleep.

My heart sank. Clearly, he seemed to view me as a charity case, a face from his past that he would help out of duty and reminiscence. Before I had chance to think over my choice of words, I heard myself ask the question I didn't want an answer to. 'So, is there someone special in your new life?' He paused mid-stride, and turned towards me with a sad little smile. 'Yes, there is,' he said, 'but she doesn't seem to know it.' I forced a smile onto my face somehow, and took a deep breath to steady myself before continuing, 'Well, you should tell her how you feel, then! How is she meant to know unless you say something to her?' He sighed, and carried on walking without a reply. I felt as beaten up as if I'd just had a run in with Kellan. Of course there was someone he'd fallen for. How could I have been so stupid?

[Calluna]

Over the course of several weeks, I took her from city to city, pointing out the well paying jobs, and taking her to visit the best trainers under the Crystal. She never knew it, but I waited until she slept, slipping extra tria into her pouch so she never ran out of training money. I'd offered to give the cash needed to her, but she wouldn't accept it, telling me she didn't want my charity. On our journeys, she took to quizzing me about the special girl in my life, and I found that I was oddly reluctant to admit that it was her. Instead, I mumbled vagueries, trying to deflect her from her questioning. After a while, she simply stopped asking. She began to smile more often, and the mood between us improved drastically. Hope began to flower in my chest again, that maybe she'd figured things out on her own, but as the days wore on, it seemed as though she'd reverted to being my friend, and nothing more. I decided that I had to tell her, and tell her soon, before she grew strong enough to survive on her own, and slipped away from me again.

When we arrived back in Hydlaa, she looked drawn and tired, and I insisted she went to Kada-El's to get some sleep, not wanting her to over extend herself. She readily agreed, and flopped on the bed already asleep, leaving me to arrange the covers over her. Looking down at her sleeping face, I couldn't stand to wait any longer. There was never going to be a 'right time' to tell her the truth, and I'd tortured myself for long enough. If she didn't want to be with me, I didn't care. I just had to know, one way or the other. I took another long look at her sleeping face, and went out to gather some flowers for her. She should always have flowers, I thought to myself, remembering the little wooden frame I'd made for her so long ago. When I'd got a good bouquet together, I went back upstairs at Kada-El's, to wake her up. As I climbed the stairs, I suddenly felt rather mischievous. Today I'd tell her the truth, yes... but not before making her think I had someone else first.

As I opened the door to her room, I heard her stir in her sleep, and instead of waking her, I sat down in the chair opposite the bed, waiting for her to wake of her own accord. She sat up, rubbing her face in the most endearing, child-like manner, and her gaze wandered from me to the bouquet I was holding. I felt my cheeks turn pink, but it was too late to back out now. 'Look!' I said, 'I have flowers for her! I'm going to tell her how I feel today!' She smiled, a wonderful, beaming smile that melted my heart, and almost made me admit the truth to her on the spot, and then told me she'd go and train in the Arena, so she wasn't in my way. I told her I'd walk her there before handing over the flowers, then went back outside, to give her a chance to freshen up in privacy.

She emerged a few minutes later, wearing the armour I'd given her, her curls fastened back so she could wear her helmet, and gave me another smile. Rather than saying anything, I walked outside, then down the stairs, with her following. All of a sudden, I couldn't wait any longer. The 'right time' had come! I stepped in front of her, and turned to face her, holding out the flowers. She stared at me, completely confused, and a little annoyed that I'd blocked her path. 'These are for you.' I said, offering her the bouquet. My heart seemed to leap into my throat as I said it, causing my voice to catch. I held my breath, waiting for her to respond, not knowing what her reaction would be, not daring to hope for any sign that she still had feelings for me, and then... she took the flowers from me, a brilliant smile lighting up her face. I let out the breath I'd been holding, and returned the smile, knowing, without a word needing to be said, that everything was going to be alright.

[Calluna]

That night, Zephan took me to the Secret Garden, setting up a few blankets for me to bundle up in, and telling me he'd stand watch while I slept. Although my mind was reeling, I must have been more tired than I thought, because the next thing I remember is being shaken awake by him just after dawn. The last thing I wanted to do at that point was to face an entire day of being with him, especially now he'd admitted to having a 'special someone'. I wanted to crawl into a dark corner and hide, but I knew, deep down, that I couldn't, that I needed his help. And so, I followed where he led for over a week, doing the tasks he pointed me towards, speaking to trainers and people who needed jobs doing. It went by in a blur, and I'd almost forgotten him mentioning his mystery girl because of how busy we were, running back and forth.

Another day, another journey back and forth. I was growing stronger daily, and I'd managed to save a little money to cover basic expenses. I counted through my tria, deciding I had enough saved to be able to strike out on my own. Although we'd fallen into a more amicable silence by then, I still didn't want to become a burden, nor did I want to be anywhere near Zephan when he finally did pluck up the courage to tell his girl how he felt about her. I kept badgering him about telling her, and he kept mumbling about it not being the time or the place. As the days wore on, I noticed a different, softer look on his face, as though he'd come to some momentous decision. We began talking as we used to, though I felt reluctant at first. It was after I'd noticed this look on his face that I decided to ask him more about his mystery girl, what she looked like, what kind of person she was. Little did I know that I was about to get the shock of my life.

Zephan seemed a little reluctant to describe the object of his affections, skirting around the issue when I asked, or giving me a vague impression of the kind of person she was. After several conversations like this,  I think I'd asked once too many. He sighed heavily, and refused to answer me. I decided to stop pressing the issue, after all, I had no real claim on his life, and no real right to know one way or the other. Oddly, this decision brought me a strange sort of peace. An acceptance, if you like. We carried on with our tasks, running back and forth, and I finally felt able to continue on, with Zephan as the dearest of childhood friends, guiding me as I learned my way around the Dome.

It would have been one or two days after I'd made peace with myself when we arrived back into Hydlaa. Zephan had his own errands to run, and had left me to sleep at Kada-El's, a bit more confident that I could handle myself, should any trouble start. When I woke up, the first thing I saw was Zephan, sporting a grin I hadn't seen him wear in years, a bunch of flowers in his hand. He gave me the most heart-meltingly boyish smile, and I think he even blushed a little. 'Look!' he said, 'I have flowers for her! I'm going to tell her how I feel today!' I couldn't be anything but happy for him, looking at the pure joy in his face, and I told him I'd be in the Arena, training, so he could find me afterwards, and tell me how it went. He said he'd walk me there before meeting his girl, ever the gentleman, so I quickly got ready to leave, not wanting to hold him up now he'd made his mind up to tell her.

We left Kada-El's a few minutes later, and aimlessly sauntered towards the long staircase. Well, -I- aimlessly sauntered. Zephan, on the other hand, was practically floating off the ground in excitement, his good mood infectious. I just hoped that his girl wouldn't break his heart, seeing how happy she made him. We started down the stairs, but just as we rounded the corner, Zephan stepped in front of me, making me stop suddenly so as not to bump into him. I was about to tell him to watch where he was going, and step out of his way, but he turned to face me, beaming sunnily and holding out the bunch of flowers. 'These are for you.' he said, a catch of emotion in his voice.

I was totally, completely stunned into speechlessness! There -was- no mystery girl! He hadn't found someone else, or even -thought- about finding anyone else! Before, he'd spoken of how his parents had ordered him to leave, and that he'd worked at being a hunter, saving every spare tria until he had enough put aside to sweep his girl off her feet utterly. At that moment, he could have been penniless. He'd already managed to sweep me off my feet, right then and there. Truth be told, he'd already managed that particular feat many years earlier, and I wouldn't have cared one bit if he'd still been penniless. I stood there, flowers in hand, beaming from ear to ear, the heartache of those six long years melting away for good.

[Calluna]

It was as though the six years apart hadn't happened. No matter what we were doing, Calluna's hand would find a way to sneak into mine, usually accompanied by her sidling closer to rest her head on my shoulder, if we weren't walking or running. I found myself treating her like I always had done, without any conscious effort. It felt like we were children again, wandering off on a big adventure, her hiding behind me when things seemed a little scary. I was so proud of how well her training was going. She took to sword craft well, and was improving her cooking skills whenever we passed through Ojaveda. I made sure she was always safe, and that I was always there when she needed me, like the protective older brother figure I'd always been when we were young.

Her training was taking us further and further afield, so it was several days between our visits to Hydlaa. I'd placed an order with a jeweller during our last visit, and while she slept before a planned trip to Ojaveda, I visited him again, to pick up the ring I'd had made for her. Now I had enough savings to support us both, and I wanted to ask if she would marry me, just like I'd vowed to myself all those years before. By the time she woke, I was so excited I blurted out that I had a question to ask her, before I could stop the words tumbling from my mouth. Inwardly I cursed myself. I'd so wanted it to be a surprise, and to choose some pretty location. Now, I'd roused her insatiable curiosity, and I spent the whole trip to Ojaveda dodging her wanting to know what I was going to ask her, my nerves growing more and more each time, wondering what her reply would be. Then, as we were climbing one of the hills, she stopped dead in her tracks, and smiled. 'You know, when you -do- ask that question, I think you'll get the answer you're hoping for...' she said, tilting her head to look up at me. It felt like a spring had unwound within me, and I relaxed. All that was left to do was to find someplace suitable to ask her. It suddenly occurred to me that I'd been invited to a wedding a while back, at the Lake of Stealth. With that thought, I knew that I would be taking her there to ask my question. We'd been travelling most of the day, and I knew she was growing tired, but I didn't dare stop. I wanted to be there by the time the Crystal started to darken.

As it turned out, we made it there slightly beforehand, and so, I slowed my pace, wandering around the banks of the lake, telling her that my friends had chosen this spot to exchange their vows. As the light began to fade, casting that brilliance which makes every colour shimmer, I turned to her, and took her hands in mine. All of a sudden, I was very nervous, and had to clear my throat before I could begin speaking. 'Calluna...' I said, watching her smile nervously, and taking in a deep breath before I continued, 'The moment I saw you again at the Bronze Doors, I believe it was a sign... I don't really have the words to describe fully what I'm feeling, but I know I love you... and looking back, I always have.' With that, I sank slowly to one knee, retrieving the ring from my belt pouch, and looking up at her, feeling rather shy, for some reason. 'Will you marry me?' I asked, opening my hand to reveal the ring. For a moment, she looked as if she was going to cry, but instead, she gasped in a breath, and whispered, 'I love you too... and yes... of course I will!' She held out her hand, and I gently slid the ring onto her finger, leaping up to hug her tightly and croak out 'Thankyou!', blinking back a scatter of tears.

[Calluna]

The next few days were a different kind of blur. We still travelled back and forth, completing errands and picking up new ones, only now, my hand was wrapped warmly in his again, and we spent hours sitting in the grass, just enjoying being close to one another again. We were walking through Hydlaa one morning, on our way out to Ojaveda, when he said he had something to ask me. “Ask away!” I said, but instead of doing so, he mumbled something about the location not being nice enough. We set out for Ojaveda as planned. My curiosity kept getting the better of me, and I started badgering Zephan to ask whatever it was he wanted to ask. He kept on refusing, with the same excuse, that the location wasn't nice enough. After a while of walking, it suddenly dawned on me what he wanted to ask, and I almost slapped myself for being so dumb!

We walked for a little while longer. All the while, my brain was churning, trying to think of how I could get Zephan to ask his question. We hadn't gone far when I heard myself say, 'You know, when you -do- ask that question, I think you'll get the answer you're hoping for...' GAH! How horribly mawkish! The thought still makes me blush, even now! Regardless of how ridiculous I think I sounded, it seemed to relax Zephan, who had been looking rather pensive for a mile or two. Finally, we stopped by the shore of a lake, and took a side trip around it. Even though I'd figured out what Zephan's question was, it still stole my breath away when he dropped to one knee, right there, and asked me to marry him. I barely managed to reply, and I'm not sure, but I think I might have cried.

Between all the training and wedding preparations, both Zephan and I seemed to be permanently tired, falling asleep wherever we'd set up camp practically as soon as we'd unrolled the ulbernaut furs. Life seemed to consist of appointments and sleep, with a little training thrown in just in case we weren't quite tired enough. Though we were exhausted, I was probably happier than I had been for years. Not only was I learning many things and growing strong for my small size, I was about to be married to the only person I'd even consider as a life mate. Life took on a sweetness I hadn't experienced, even as a child, and every small thing Zephan and I did together seemed strangely momentous, our combined joy imprinting our actions on my memory easily.

[Calluna]

It fell mostly to me to get things organised for the wedding. Calluna was still unfamiliar with who the best tradesmen were, and she didn't know anyone well enough to go around inviting people. I was determined to change that, however, and spent the next few weeks introducing her to everyone I knew. Giroum was first, of course, as I wanted to ask him to perform the wedding ceremony. I was a little ashamed of myself, actually, because as soon as I introduced the two of them, I felt an insatiable urge to show Calluna off like some prize. I wanted to show everyone how happy she made me, and prove to her how glad I was she was in my life after those six years of separation. We visited with almost everyone I knew, and my instinct was the same, each and every time. I'd take a slight step back, and allow her to take centre stage, beaming from ear to ear as people complimented her on her beauty and made her blush.

One person did curb this urge in me somewhat. The dressmaker, Miss Lhaa, seemed to be a little too keen to discuss how tight my pants ought to be, making me a little nervous, and when Calluna stood there for her fitting, there was a lot of whispering between the two of them, and a lot of pointed glances in my direction. I know my love, and I knew she was up to something, but no amount of suspicious glances at her yielded any information as to what. She'd simply smile, and say 'You'll see!' Once the fittings were done, I carried on with the rest of the preparations for the ceremony, taking Calluna out to choose a suitable location, organising the food, and paying a Kran to act as waiter on the day. When everything was finally ready, I began to grow slowly more apprehensive, wondering what exactly it was Calluna and Miss Lhaa had cooked up between them. A few days later, we went for our final fittings, and although I tried to enter the room while Calluna tried on her gown, both she and Miss Lhaa ushered me back out of the room again. If my suit was anything to go by, then Calluna's gown would be a work of art.