Rutger's University, bullying, homophobia and civility

[Roled]

Tyler Clementi, a new student at Rutger's in the USA, jumped to his death after his roommate and another dorm mate posted a video
taken without his knowledge, showing him and another male having sex.

May the Great Compassion hold him, and his family, and his partner, and even the room/ dorm mates, in her arms of forgiveness.

This report has upset me greatly, I will share two reasons and sets of question here that I think are relevant to our forum community.

One is bullying. Calling people names, putting people down, offering vague threats. And yes, it happens here, in our own little world. What on earth
made those roommate, dorm mates think that was acceptable? Or even funny?  Is there something in this somewhat anonymous world of the forums,
that sometimes gives us the feeling of freedom to bypass ethics and decent, humane behavior towards each other?
How can we help each other, as a community, overcome this insidious form of aggression?

Second is homophobia and civility. In our little test tube, we have I am sure folks of all gender definitions, and all sexual identifications. But do we accept each
as full members of this fantasy community? Does suspecting that a player might be gay or lesbian, trans or bi, or questioning, or queer, affect our game play
with each others avatars? How can we prevent the feeling of being outside for new members coming to play in this little world with us? How can we welcome
without alienation? How can we more fully accept each others characters in a full and diverse society playground?

"Let us work for the day when all people can love whom they love without threat of ridicule or violence." to quote Kate Lore, a Unitarian minister's post on FB

What do you think? Does our PS community here in the forums and/ or in game, see bullying and/or homophobia as a problem?

Thanks for your thoughts
Roled

[Sarras Volcae]

idc because neither issues affect me

this may sound bad, but i think the suicide was a bit of an overreaction. if you're embarrassed of something, don't do it. but if that's who you are, be confident about it. gawsh.

[LigH]

People are different. One has issues with topics another doesn't mind at all. It is all about tolerance.

I remember from times of the original "Janner's Way" and "Ruby Reign" that there was a transsexual player, who completed the gender change in the meantime. - So what? Do I need to know that to enjoy the roleplaying? Characters may or may not be like their players. Does it matter?

[Geoni]

I used to be asexual (anti-sex), but I've always sheltered my homosexuality. Yes I am gay, if you have a problem with this you can just say whatever you want, I'll ignore you.

[Drey]

idc because neither issues affect me

this may sound bad, but i think the suicide was a bit of an overreaction. if you're embarrassed of something, don't do it. but if that's who you are, be confident about it. gawsh.

qft. This applies to so many topics.

Also,

I used to be asexual (anti-sex)

Dictionary.com is a pretty cool guy when it comes to definitions

[Phantomboy86]

Bah, I've never cared about whose got which sexual orientation. As one of the few actually good lessons my crazy father has offhandedly taught me

'be whatever sexual orientation you want, just dont go up in my face about it'

[novacadian]

In terms of the PS community, Roled; and with Role Playing in general; there is that common symptom known as Player's Bleed. On its lighter side this can be a player that always plays his/her alter ego. That is the best way to go if they cannot overcome it.

On the darker side, this could mean a player to player grudge moving into a character to character grudge; or biases that the player has showing up in the character. Perhaps that is what you are referring to.

It surprised me when first coming to PS that a player who was courting Venorel told me OOC that another female character that Venorel knew was being played by a male as if it made some kind of difference. It likely did to that player; which indicated to me that some may be taking as much pleasure from their character's courting as the characters.

If that is the case then the Player Bleed goes further in that sexual preferences of such Players dictates the relationships of their characters.

Without Player Bleed and in a perfect game world of total immersion all of that should not matter. Sadly this is not always the case and the prejudges of the real world is bound to seep over into PS'.

-- Nova 

[Sarras Volcae]

I used to be asexual (anti-sex), but I've always sheltered my homosexuality. Yes I am gay, if you have a problem with this you can just say whatever you want, I'll ignore you.

wtf, does this mean i'm the last asexual player here? ....shit. thanks, geoni. 

[Drey]

I used to be asexual (anti-sex), but I've always sheltered my homosexuality. Yes I am gay, if you have a problem with this you can just say whatever you want, I'll ignore you.

wtf, does this mean i'm the last asexual player here? ....shit. thanks, geoni. 

We can look into doing something about that if you like Sarras

[Geoni]

Dictionary.com is a pretty cool guy when it comes to definitions

And so is UrbanDictionary.com http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=asexual

@Novacadian: This is an OOC question about the real world not PS and this "Player Bleed" theory seems off the topic. Super random much?

@Sarras: Sorry, I was totally asexual up to the point when I saw this really hot guy on TV the other day and magically, my testosterone seemed to work again.   

[novacadian]

@Novacadian: This is an OOC question about the real world not PS and this "Player Bleed" theory seems off the topic. Super random much?

You may take it as that Geomi, yet my point may have been missed; so let me lay it out for you more clearly.

If everyone was totally immersed in PS then Roled's point would be moot. However many players are not immersed and bring their real world baggage to the game. In the real world we see such insensitivity as Roled referred; so too should we expect it in PS from Player Bleeding players. To except it? Well that's another story.

- Nova

[Edit : Relevance to OT:

Does suspecting that a player might be gay or lesbian, trans or bi, or questioning, or queer, affect our game play
with each others avatars?

]

[Catlemur]

I used to be asexual (anti-sex), but I've always sheltered my homosexuality. Yes I am gay, if you have a problem with this you can just say whatever you want, I'll ignore you.

wtf, does this mean i'm the last asexual player here? ....shit. thanks, geoni. 

That is sad call me if you will change your mind.
 

[Drey]

What do you think? Does our PS community here in the forums and/ or in game, see bullying and/or homophobia as a problem?

^ Geoni

Also, there's the slight problem that urban dictionary is mostly made up :p

[Geoni]

@Drey: As is the English language, nub. 

@Nova, yes, I have seen what you call "Players Bleeding" and yeah I think is relevant to some players. As for his last question, nobody has yet to answer it.

[Tessra]

I find this to be a horrible thing, Roled.  Irregardless of someone's beliefs about sexuality and the like, what gives any person the right to record someone engaging in a private act and then display it to the world?  Sarras, you say if you are embarrassed about something, not to do it, but what if this young man wasn't embarrassed?  What if he had other life circumstances that prevented him from being open regarding his sexuality?  What if his parents would be upset and he was trying to prevent issues there?  People may assume that it's no big deal to be upfront and open about sexuality, but in America we still live in a society where men are assaulted for being gay or bisexual.  There are very real concerns that would keep someone from wanting to blatantly display themselves in a compromising, adult situation. 

I cannot speak for anyone else in the community but it does not matter to me if someone is straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans-gender, questioning, queer or asexual.  However, Nova brings up a good point with Player Bleed.  Some people DO mind.  Some people do find certain actions/behaviors to be distasteful in the least and downright nasty in the extreme, and because of that they WILL have a problem RPing with people they know that do them IRL.  For me, there is a rather diverse group of people that I RP with in game, and many of them I consider to be my friends, at least "internet friends."  There is not necessarily anything wrong with not wanting to be "friends" with someone who's actions you cannot abide, but it does go against the heart of the immersive experience, as your character does not know that X's player is "fill in the blank with whatever". 

Does suspecting that a player might be gay or lesbian, trans or bi, or questioning, or queer, affect our game play
with each others avatars?

I can say honestly, for me it does.  In my life experiences, people who are GLTBQA tend to be more open minded and friendlier to be around, so if I suspect the player is, I am sometimes more likely to try and find a way to write my character with them.    It does not change how my characters will interact with theirs, but it might make me a bit more inclined to put the player on my buddy list and try to find them in game for a little RP.