Author Topic: Moogie's Story  (Read 15816 times)

kyosan

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« Reply #45 on: October 16, 2003, 12:03:46 pm »
Well for me it was the best story around (mine suck like hell quited it) so pliz finsh it... its realy great... geez i cant make u to finish it but just for u to know enything u deside i will suport you :) whatever that means :P
I\'m alone...
No one cares about me....
I\'m only a tool for other people\'s needs...
I\'m nothing....
But a slave to all....

Moogie

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« Reply #46 on: October 16, 2003, 07:52:28 pm »
Thank you thank you thank you! Y\'all encouraged me to start writing again, so here\'s my gift to you- Chapter 4! (Alterations made since I posted the beginning of this chapter, so I\'ve posted it in its entirety below.)

I love you. :)


4.

Moogie sat up quickly, her ears pricking up in alert. She had been sitting infront of the fireplace most of the day, having raided Draklar\'s pantry for food and drink, and had been gently drifting off into sleep when she heard a muffled noise somewhere outside the room. She listened for a long time, wondering if Draklar had come home. Perhaps she had even imagined it. Whatever it was, nobody seemed to be there now. Moogie curled up tightly on the fluffy rug and closed her eyes again.

The feline suddenly jumped up onto her feet as the living room door burst open with a heavy kick. Four people dressed in dark clothing and brandishing shortswords bolted into the room and headed straight for the terrified girl. Moogie backed up against a wall, trapped, as the intruders closed in.

The air outside was silent and cold. Darkness prevailed along every street and building, shunned only by dim street-lamps that lined each side of the wide, cobbled roads. Nighttime had long since put the city\'s inhabitants to sleep; a perfect opportunity for the group of kidnappers to carry an unconcious female to their waiting horse-driven cart without being seen.

\"Are you sure this is her?\" A gruff voice whispered.

\"Positive. She has the mark.\" Another replied authoritively. \"Put her in the back and let\'s go.\"

\"What mark?\" The first voice replied. As Moogie was loaded onto the back of the cart, the two figures sat beside her. One of them gently lifted her torso from the ground and turned her body to show a faint symbol tattooed on her left arm.

\"This. You see? Our guild mark. She most is definitely Moogie.\" Having proved a point, the kidnapper laid her body back down. The other nodded in acknowledgement.

With their hostage secured, one of the masked people jumped into the driver seat while the others sat in the back with Moogie and the other two. With the crack of a whip, the horse gallopped down the road and out of the city gates, disappearing into the darkness. However, none of them seemed to have noticed a lone figure hiding in an alleyway nearby. He had silently witnessed the entire scene but was not close enough to discern what the hushed voices had said. His vantage point here was completely concealed by shadow, and his long, black cloak disguised him easily. Stepping out into the open street, the cloaked man hurridly approached his steed.


Moogie awoke to a dull pain in her head. She slowly opened her eyes to a dimly lit cavern, a yellow shadow flickering across the jagged walls to her side. She tilted her head and saw a campfire there, aswell as several unknown figures feasting themselves on the meat that was roasting on a spit above the hot flame. They each wore light clothing underneath a cuirass of leather armour and dirty looking leather grieves. Scattered around the campire were pairs of gloves and screwed up cloaks which the group had discarded there in order to eat and relax more comfortably. One of them, an Enkidukai like herself, had a more eligant, dignified look about her. She was a female, with much cleaner, steady looking armour than the rest of them. Underneath the untarnished material and shining metal buckles, smooth white fur covered her slim body from head to toe. A long golden falchion sat proudly by her side. As she sat chewing at a piece of meat, Moogie studied her appearance and mentally decided she must be the leader.

The female happened to glance aside and catch her captive\'s eyes fixed on her, like a criminal caught redhanded, much to Moogie\'s horror. She noticed the growing fear in Moogie\'s eyes, but smiled at her and spoke softly.

\"Don\'t worry Moogie. We\'re not going to hurt you. You\'re safe now.\" She said. This was a totally unexpected reaction for the girl and now the entire group\'s attentions were fixed solely on her. She sat up, feeling afraid and incredibly awkward.

\"Wh-where am I? Who are you?\" Moogie asked timidly. Her eyes darted from person to person, but met silence from all but the female.

\"You\'re back where you belong, Shadowkin. Do you not recognise us?\" She got up and approached the girl, showing the tattoo on her upper-arm and then pointing to Moogie\'s. Moogie almost didn\'t want to look, but brought her arm around to see the exact same mark branded on her own skin. Her expression betrayed deep confusion as she sullenly studied the symbol. What did this mean?

\"Your memory has been completely obliterated Moogie, so I shall have to explain alot to you.\" The female sat down beside her and offered some fresh meat. Admittedly, Moogie was very hungry, but she refused. How could she trust these people, who had not long ago struck her over the head and abducted her while she lay unconcious? Unperturbed, the leader began.

\"Firstly, I am Ayshe. I am the founder, and leader, of a Guild that you rank very highly in, friend. We are the Felines Lair. Does any of this so far mean anything to you?\" She asked, her eyes pleading to the girl\'s for some kind of recognition. Moogie, however, shook her head slowly.

\"I don\'t know... somehow it sounds familiar... but I\'ve never heard this before. It feels like deja vu...\"

\"Well that\'s a start, at least.\" Ayshe smiled. \"You\'ve been lost to us for a long time now. Since when did you forget everything?\" She asked. Moogie tilted her head slightly.

\"That depends on how long you kept me unconcious...\" Said the girl quietly, some fear returning to her voice. Ayshe sighed regretfully.

\"Oh Moogie... I\'m so sorry but we had to be sure. We were tipped by an informant who said he had seen you get carried to that building by a guard, but his information was vague. We needed to make sure we were retrieving the correct person before attempting to remove you. If it had turned out to be another girl, at least we wern\'t running the risk of her seeing or hearing anything she shouldn\'t.\"

Moogie stared ahead of her silently. If her captors needed her so badly, then why? Who was she? What was this high rank that the leader spoke of? Suddenly the memory of the abduction came into her mind. She absently felt the back of her head with a paw; it was still painful where she had been struck by the butt of a sword. However, she wasn\'t as frightened now as before. Going against all reason and logic, she felt like she should trust them. Moogie couldn\'t quite explain it to herself; perhaps it was due to feelings beyond her supressed memory?

Ayshe stood up slowly, turning to face the confused girl.

\"I know this must be pretty hard for you right now. Come, sit yourself down by the fire and eat something, won\'t you? I\'ll tell you as much as I can while you fill yourself up.\" With that, she herself sat by the fire and patted the floor beside her, beckoning for Moogie to join her. After a hesitant pause, the girl gave in to her hunger and curiosity, and the two Enkidukai talked for the rest of the night.

seperot

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« Reply #47 on: October 16, 2003, 08:19:55 pm »
YAY im so happppyyyy its back now i wanna see myself in there again and i will be extreamly happy :D

Moogie

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« Reply #48 on: October 16, 2003, 08:25:13 pm »
By the way, the things Ayshe and Moogie \'talked for the rest of the night\' about will be told. I\'m not assuming people know anything, so things like this arn\'t going to be plot holes. For the next chapter I\'m planning on jumping back to either Draklar or the new cloaked character... wonder who he is... ;)

Sep: Don\'t worry if you\'re not in ch5, you\'ll have a nice part to play in this story, that I can promise. :)

Draklar

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« Reply #49 on: October 16, 2003, 08:27:32 pm »
Good to see you back on writing again :)

ok, now i know who\'s responsible for that door thingy...
Tell Ayshe to expect a bill soon ;)
AKA Skald

Davis

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« Reply #50 on: October 17, 2003, 01:24:09 am »
Did you take my suggestions? Because if you didn\'t, my suggestions will feel sad and rejected.

Moogie

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« Reply #51 on: October 17, 2003, 01:54:01 am »
They were good suggestions, but I can\'t work like that. I\'m a highly disorganised person, and if I had to plan everything out and go through the elimination process, developing ideas etc etc I would get bored before I\'d even started writing.

My ways of working are to get a vague idea of what I want, write it all up quickly and then read it through about 5 times, each time adding more detail or removing irrelevant bits of rubbish. If, after all this, it still sounds horribly wrong, it\'s not uncommon for me to scrap it and start the entire chapter over again. However, doing this also discourages me from writing, and happens to be the reason why I stopped ch4 in the first place.

But like I said. That\'s how I work, it\'s what works for me most of the time. :)

I\'m really greatful for the advice though, guys. I will experiment and see how doing this works some time. Who knows, it may greatly improve my style... I might learn to love it! :D

zaphar

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« Reply #52 on: October 17, 2003, 02:33:40 am »
Quote
Originally posted by Mogura
They were good suggestions, but I can\'t work like that. I\'m a highly disorganised person, and if I had to plan everything out and go through the elimination process, developing ideas etc etc I would get bored before I\'d even started writing.

My ways of working are to get a vague idea of what I want, write it all up quickly and then read it through about 5 times, each time adding more detail or removing irrelevant bits of rubbish. If, after all this, it still sounds horribly wrong, it\'s not uncommon for me to scrap it and start the entire chapter over again. However, doing this also discourages me from writing, and happens to be the reason why I stopped ch4 in the first place.

But like I said. That\'s how I work, it\'s what works for me most of the time. :)

I\'m really greatful for the advice though, guys. I will experiment and see how doing this works some time. Who knows, it may greatly improve my style... I might learn to love it! :D


I write with minimal planning myself. I have a general idea of what I want to happen. And a very good idea of how my characters react in a given situation. Then I just let it flow from there. I\'m like you moogie way to disorganized. :-)
*Zaphar grins roguishly as he exits the post


Darkmoon

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« Reply #53 on: October 17, 2003, 06:58:31 am »
Ahh... my story fix is here.  You should be Chairperson of the PlaneShift Novelists Club.  :D

Davis

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« Reply #54 on: October 18, 2003, 05:44:08 am »
Yeah, I have no organizational skills (everybody says that, but I have no organizational skills as in no organizational skills that make teachers mad and lower my grade). Those suggestions I made are just what I found worked for me. What I\'m saying (or at least what I\'m saying now) is that you have to think of the long-term of the story. I think I have written... 3?... I made that never went anywhere because I couldn\'t develop a plot from what I had. My fourth try is working great, though. No, you can\'t see it. I\'m not done.
Anyway, somebody said that they just think up a general idea. Well, yeah, that\'s what I\'m saying. Without a general idea, it won\'t work. And a lot of the organizational requiring things are in making up the setting. The planeshift team has made a setting for you! Aren\'t they great?!
« Last Edit: October 18, 2003, 05:46:00 am by Davis »

kyosan

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« Reply #55 on: October 18, 2003, 04:33:16 pm »
Woooo party 4 ^^ me so happy :P
Moogie if u think bout stopidn wirtin im gonna scrach you ^_-
GO moogie go!
I\'m alone...
No one cares about me....
I\'m only a tool for other people\'s needs...
I\'m nothing....
But a slave to all....

Ayshe

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« Reply #56 on: October 23, 2003, 04:22:34 pm »
Quote
Originally posted by Mogura
...One of them, an Enkidukai like herself, had a more eligant, dignified look about her...


I\'m shamelessly intrigued by your description of the character I play - you know how to win my attention.

Please, don\'t quit writing now!
The Felines Lair

Jessyn

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« Reply #57 on: October 23, 2003, 09:33:00 pm »
wow, this is the best story i have read in a while(and i read more than most people breathe) Very impressive, I can\'t wait for the next chapter!

Jessyn
Most things in life operate, not on reality, but the perception of reality.  

Axsyrus

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« Reply #58 on: October 23, 2003, 10:30:08 pm »
Great story moogie, i really like it. I hope you\'ll continue writing even after this story ends.

Axsyrus the Azure - Ruler of the Winds
Member of The Arcane Order\'s Council

seperot

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« Reply #59 on: October 24, 2003, 11:33:57 am »
ya moogie keep it up ilove this story ^.^