Author Topic: The Test of The Jedi  (Read 5679 times)

Jessyn

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« Reply #15 on: November 05, 2003, 12:17:28 am »
this story rules, and who needs american producers anyway, get a million beavers with a million typewriters....  :D (yes,I am Canadian)

Jessyn
Most things in life operate, not on reality, but the perception of reality.  

Jedi

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« Reply #16 on: November 06, 2003, 02:19:16 pm »
Corel WordPerfect is Da shirt. It does some crazy format garbage on the text. Sorry for any inconvenience.

    Chapter 3
   
    ?Depression is a drug. It?s addictive and it kills.? ~ Jedi
 
   Jedi pushed the tavern door open, momentarily flooding the dark night with golden
  lamplight, and walked in, the door swinging shut behind him, shutting out the night
  sounds. As he entered a flood of warmth and talking engulfed him. Jedi stopped just inside
  and surveyed the establishment.
 
   The pub was small, by city standards, but it was more than adequate for his small
  town. The room was roughly square in shape and several tables took up most of the
  available space. These were crowded with jaunty townsfolk sharing a story about this or
  that or some little bit of news they heard from the outside world. One corner was
  dominated by tiny stage, only big enough to accommodate two or three people at most.
  That was where travelling performers would present their art, not that any ever came.
  There was a small clearing near the middle of the room, which served as a dance floor, but
  nobody ever danced either. Along one wall was a large shelf filled with various
  assortments of literature. They were there as an entertainment of sorts. People often came
  to the tavern during the day to read. Jedi had read them all in his youth, but remembered
  little. Beside the shelf was an old inset fireplace. It was quite deep, built to hold the largest
  of logs, and it provided a marvellous heat in the cold winter. However, the cracks in the
  bricks and their black texture spoke of its age. Johan, the local builder had promised to see
  to its restoration, but, as yet, had not had time. Men and women of various ages populated
  the room, filling the high ceiling with the sounds of laughter and mirth.
 
  Seeing Jarred and several others against the opposite wall, Jedi began to make his way
  over to them. On the way, he stopped to greet several people he recognized, asking a few
  questions here and there and trying to reacquaint himself with old friends. Many things had
  changed in the years he was gone. He was not really surprised by this, things changed
  constantly, but he was saddened. He wasn?t there to watch his village grow and change.
  But then again, if he had not left, his village would have certainly been destroyed. At least
  he could take comfort in that. Jedi pushed through the last throng of people and emerged
  to find Jarred waiting for him.
 
  ?Jedi,? Jarred grinned a held out his hand, ?glad you could join us!?
 
  Jedi smiled and clasped the proffered hand, ?I almost didn?t make it. Tomas had
  this crazy idea of sending me to Aman tonight.? He shook his head, ?I talked him into
  giving me a break. I have to leave first thing in the morning, though.?
 
  Jarred leaned back against the wall, ?Aman? Now why in the world would he want
  you to go there??
 
  Jedi smirk, ?Wouldn?t you like to know. Sorry, but you know Tom. It?s private business,
  as usual.?
 
  ?Hmph,? Jarred made a face, ?Oh well, Tom?s a strange old man. Anyways, before
  I get too far ahead of myself. I?d like to introduce you to a few people.? Jarred turned and
  waved his hand indicating the three men nearby, ?The first one is Diemnic Henkel.?
 
  ?That?s Arkanandian, isn?t it?? Jedi squinted at the man.
 
  The man Jarred had pointed to was rather short, only about one and a half meters
  tall. He was dark skinned and strongly built, with wide shoulders and thick arms. He wore
  a dark red work shirt and old stained leather pants. His boots were worn, but sturdy and
  the casual way he crossed his feet suggested a man used to being listened to and obeyed.
  He had long black hair tied back from a chiselled face. His forehead sported an unusual
  tattoo, a cross in a star with triangles at the sides. It was the symbol of his homeland, but
  it was in the old Arkanand tongue and few living knew of it. Thick black eyebrows arched
  over wide brown eyes. His nose was somewhat large, but so it was with many
  Arkananadians. His chin was very pronounced and carried a thick beard. Heavy gold
  earring dangled from each ear and gold ring went through the centre of his nose. His
  mouth spread in a wide grin.
 
  ?Yes, how?d you know??
 
  ?I stayed there for a week or so.? At Diemnic?s curious expression Jedi added, ?I?ll
  explain it later.?
 
  Jarred nodded and motioned toward the next man, ?This is Firehand, a worker
  from the Jackights.?
 
  Jedi dipped his head in recognition. The Jackights were a semi-secluded people.
  They had a strange habit of ritually naming their children after natural things. Jedi
  scrutinized him and realized with astonishment that he was completely unremarkable. Not
  just in the sense that he was plain. He was painfully plain. He was of middle height, middle
  weight, looked to be in his thirties, but even that would be hard to ascertain, he wore
  unassuming clothing, and his face was impossibly bland. It was almost too ordinary to be
  describe. Immediately Jedi was on his guard. He was not sure, but he sensed that there
  was something more to this man than he was letting on. He decided to let it pass, for now.
 
  Firehand made a small bow from the waist, ?It is an honour to make your acquaintance,
  Jedi.? His voice was heavily accented in the usual Jackight manner.
 
  Jedi returned the bow, ?The honour is mine, good Firehand.? It was a Jackight custom.
  They held honour above many things.
 
  Finally, Jarred nodded toward the last man, ?And this is Triad Maximose, origin
  unknown.? Jarred grinned, ?Actually, he?s just reluctant to tell us.?
 
  As soon as Jedi made eye contact with Triad, he knew without a doubt both his
  origin and why he would want to keep it secret. He had spent several days with ? people
  ? like Triad. It had been intimidating, to say the least.
 
  Triad was tall, thin, and, Jedi was sure, deceptively strong. He wore a loose white dress
  blouse and baggy pants. His high-cut boots looked like nothing so much as a pirates and
  his sharp, thin facial features and the plain gold earring only accentuated the similarity. He
  had a commanding presence, but not overbearing. He would have bee frighteningly tall,
  but his deep baby eyes kept him from looking fierce. He had a tangled matt of dark orange
  hair that seemed to be spiked of its own accord. He smiled easily and offered Jedi his
  hand.
 
  Jedi took it and returned the smile, ?A pleasure.?Sarabon ?howdar?[Triad]??
  (Greetings, honourable Triad.)
 
  Triad gasped. No doubt he had not been spoken to in his native language in many years.
  After all, very few humans even knew of the Ter?rak ?Skel?im, the Dragon Tongue?s,
  existence, let alone how to speak it. He recovered quickly and put on a stern visage,
  ?We?ll speak later.?
 
  Jedi smirked, ?Indeed, we will.?
 
  Jarred cast a curious glance at Triad, but made no comment. Instead he said,
  ?These guys are the new mining crew. They came here several years ago to replace the old
  one after?the accident.?
 
  The accident. Jedi had heard about it, something about a cave-in. From what he?d heard,
  the rescue crew actually managed to get the whole team out safely, but they were terrified.
  None ever wanted to go near the mine again. It was a tragic event, but the villagers had
  recovered and re-opened the mine. After all, it was the town?s only real resource and the
  only thing that kept it on the map. But it was better not to dwell on such things.
 
  ?But, I?m sure you know all about that. So, what about you, you?ve been gone for
  a little over ten years. Where?ve you been??
 
  Jedi shrugged nonchalantly, ?Around.?
 
  ?Uh huh. Be a little more specific.?
 
  Jedi sighed, ?It?s a long story.?
 
  Jarred pulled up a stool and sat on it. The other three did likewise, ?Well, might as well
  get started. You know we?re not going to let you leave until you tell us.?
 
  Jedi chuckled, ?Perhaps, some other time. I have to get some sleep before I head
  off to Aman tomorrow.? Jedi could almost taste the bitter disappointment coming from
  Jarred. Jedi grimaced, ?Well, I guess I can tell you one thing. I went to war.?
 
  The four men sat straighter and leaned forward. Diemnic spoke, ?War, you say.?
 
  Jedi nodded.
 
  Jarred piped up, ?That must have been great! What was it like??
 
  Jedi stopped and levelled a solemn look at Jarred. Sensing that he had said something
  wrong, Jarred?s grin withered. Jedi met him eye to eye, ?You want to know what war is
  like?? Jedi passed a glance over the other men. He didn?t bother trying to intimidate Triad.
  He had probably lived through several wars himself.

Jedi

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« Reply #17 on: November 06, 2003, 02:19:50 pm »
Jedi returned his gaze to Jarred, ?War is hell. War is to live in constant fear for
  your life and the life of your men. War is an acid that courses through your veins and
  burns you underneath your skin. War is the wolf that comes to gnaw on your judgement,
  your sanity. War is the time when you watch friends, relatives, and strangers die, soaked in
  blood, ripped apart by the blade of the enemy. War is knowing that that blade is coming
  for you too. And most of all war is knowing that you are visiting the same horrors on your
  foes.?
 
  Jedi paused, ?You think war is fun? You think it?s glamorous? You think slaughtering
  living beings is gratifying?? his voice had risen to a bellow. All the other patrons in had
  ceased their conversation and were staring. Jedi didn?t care, ?You think it?s fun to watch
  people fall to the sword, torn from life in such a pointless gesture? Is it fun to watch living
  creatures butchered for no reason other than somebody on one side or the other decided
  they didn?t like the other? Is it fun to watch your close friends and loved ones lose their
  head in front of you? Huh? Is it?? Jedi?s voice was a hoarse shout. He stopped and took
  several ragged breaths. The tavern was silent save for his breathing. He swallowed and
  lowered his voice to a whisper, ?It is not.?
 
  Straightening himself, he turned and walked to the door. He wondered if anyone
  saw the tears of frustration streaming down his face, he didn?t care. He burst out into the night, the hard
  cobblestone town pavement, greeting his feet. He continued walking, he didn?t know
  where. It didn?t matter. He just wanted to be somewhere away from here, from the pain. It
  continued to nag at his mind, the whole bloody ordeal playing over and over again. It
  would give him no peace. Tears continued to flow down his face. It was all so horrible, so
  pointless. He could remember walking among the wounded, hear them calling out to him,
  crying for help. He remembered one young soldier, injured from a spiked mace, his innards
  held in only by his trembling fingers. He remembered the boy, for he was only that,
  clutching his arm and apologizing for getting hurt. He had asked Jedi to tell his mother
  and father that he loved them and that he was sorry. He had died in Jedi?s arms. Jedi
  remembered laying him down and turning away, wishing with all of his heart that he didn?t
  have to, that he could have saved him. But, he knew he couldn?t. He had tried but he
  never found the boy?s parents. That made him all the more angry and frustrated. All the
  fear and the anger and the hate, he recalled. It wasn?t fair. It wasn?t his fault. He had tried.
  Why wouldn?t it leave him be? Why wouldn?t it just go away? WHY?
 
  Jedi?s fast pace had taken him beyond the village wall, out into the nearby woods.
  He fell to his knees and shouted up through a clearing in the branches, ?Why won?t you
  leave me ALONE?? He fell forward onto his hands, a helpless sob escaping his throat. It
  was so unfair. He closed his eyes, ?Oh, Kitara. I wish you were here.? Jedi?s voice was
  nothing but a desperate whisper, ?You always knew what to do.? He sobbed again, ?I try,
  but all I end up doing is getting people killed.? He sat back on his heels, trying to swallow
  past the knot in his throat. Why had it happened to him? Of all the people in all the world,
  it had to be him who suffered this, ?IT?S NOT FAIR!? with that Jedi broke down and
  wept.
                   
  Jedi sat there, unmoving for hours. Eventually, his throat was dry and his eyes
  would put forth no more tears. He dragged himself to the trunk of a nearby tree, leaned
  against it and let the sounds of the forest envelope him.
« Last Edit: November 07, 2003, 04:47:21 am by Jedi »

Xandria

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« Reply #18 on: November 07, 2003, 06:06:20 am »
It was sooooooo cool, except for the part where there was a character named Dalton  ;(

But as long as he\'s not a main character, I think I can manage.

\"DALTON!\"  X(

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Moogie

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« Reply #19 on: November 07, 2003, 12:45:24 pm »
Quote

What? My story? What\'s that? Oh, that. *trashes it*


After reading the latest installment of your story, I have to scream: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Don\'t you dare stop writing! This story is terrific and I\'m dying to read more. :)

Jedi

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« Reply #20 on: November 09, 2003, 03:52:15 am »
wow...I guess I could continue. :( What\'s wrong with Dalton? Dalton\'s a good guy.

Chapter 4 comin along. :D

Xandria

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« Reply #21 on: November 09, 2003, 05:09:33 am »
I\'m sure your Dalton is just fine.

It\'s just that...there\'s this other character called Dalton, in Chrono Trigger.  Out of all the evil figures in video games, he is the only one that I really wish I could punch his lights out.  I don\'t really know why this is, something about him just makes me really angry when I think about him.

So any time the name \"Dalton\" comes up, I just get this overly hateful feeling in the back of my mind, that\'s all ;)

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Dexlan

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The best so far!
« Reply #22 on: November 12, 2003, 01:46:50 pm »
what can i say ...the best so far!
My in game character\'s are Wolfshade and Kayto! no they wont try to join two different Guilds :rolleyes: !!!!

Jedi

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« Reply #23 on: November 12, 2003, 02:53:46 pm »
Wow...thanks, Dex. :] Well, if you like it now, this next chapter will definitely fill in a lot. Debating whether to add a fight scene considering it\'s already fairly long.

BTW, the reason it\'s taking so long is the disk I had it saved on got corrupted and I lost the whole thing. :( Had to start over.

Jedi

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« Reply #24 on: November 14, 2003, 04:20:29 am »
Here we go. I decided against the fight scene since this chapter is already fairly heavy. I\'ll work it into chapter 6.

Chapter 4

    ?Respect does not come with age. It must be earned.\" ~Jedi

   Dark clouds lay across the night sky like a blanket, smothering the light of the stars. There was a slight breeze blowing over the plains, rustling the grass and fanning the flames of the cook fires at the camp. The orange glow illuminated a large area around each hastily constructed pit, casting the swaying blades in a ginger light.

 The camp itself was not large, comprising of only five tents and a row of horses picketed a ways away. It was the force Captain DeGracy had deemed large enough to provide adequate protection for the refuge units, but small enough to slip through unnoticed by the enemy. All the soldiers were sitting around one fire or another telling or listening to a story or laughing at some joke. The scouts were out on patrol and since it was only the first watch, the camp was still quite lively. Jedi and the Captain were standing at the edge of the camp looking off into the darkness.

    The whole group had been moving for several weeks now and were nearing the point where DeGracy and Cohen had first rendezvoused. It was planned to cross the river a little after Cook and set a straight course for the forest. They would then follow the edge closely and make their way up to the Headway. They would go only a little further beyond that point then return with what soldiers they found.

 Jedi squinted into the night. Somewhere out there was an enemy force just waiting to sweep down through the Headway and wipe out the human race. The merciless Tallics would not be satisfied until every last man, woman, and child was laid to the sword. It was a frightening concept. Jedi didn?t know why the Tallics wanted to kill them or what caused them to hate the humans so much, but he did know that five years prior the humans and Tallics had lived in peace. He had known several himself, good Tallics all. Then something happened and the Tallics began to grow more and more aggressive toward people until finally the terrorizing act of one such Tallic by the name of Dalieel brought the two populations to war. It was unclear exactly what he did; each history text had its own version, but it was clearly the spark that lit the fire inside every person in the King?s land.

  In the first year, the Tallics, much more suited to combat than the humans, were gaining victory after victory. The humans, though, would not give up. The King himself had sent out runners to all the lands to gather the best and smartest soldiers. Jedi himself had been among them. These he brought back to his castle and put through rigorous training. At the end he had assigned them each a Legion Force, comprising of eight Legions, and sent them out to finish the fight. Seven men had been given the rank of Legion General that day. Now only three remained. The Tallic army had been strong and two were lost in the very first year, but their deaths were not in vain. They had driven the enemy back to the borders of the Arith Tyarie. The third was lost the following year in a winter campaign into the Arith Mozorak. No one knew exactly what happened. The fourth Legion General had been lost only several months ago. He had tried to take the fort of Arith Diep and had been struck with a catapult.

    These losses were both shocking and devastating and the remaining three Legion Generals had called an emergency meeting to confer. They had agreed that to fight separately was sure death, so they had taken an oath of support. Though they would not remain together, they would supply an extra Legion or two to those who needed it. This treaty was dubbed the TriLegion Alliance. The three remaining generals, Jedi, Gambrack, and Charieka, had discussed the plan of action and then departed. Now, standing here watching the encroaching darkness Jedi could not feel as reassured as he had when he had left the meeting.

  The Captain, waiting patiently beside him let out a sigh, ?It?s almost the second watch. I?ll go get some sleep.?

   Jedi nodded absently, ?You do that.?
   
DeGracy swept one more glance across the plains then turned and left, heading towards his tent. Jedi watched him for a second then, stooping, he plucked a long strand of thin tough grass and stuck it between his teeth and returned his attention to the desolate darkness. He stood there for a while, thinking private thoughts. Behind him one by one the soldiers curled up and fell asleep and the fires slowly died away to coals. No one bothered him.

Finally, he saw the patrol coming in talking softly among each other. When they noticed him the leader shushed them and dismissed them to wake the next watch. He then came up to Jedi and snapped a smart salute, ?First watch reporting, sir.?

Jedi rolled the stem in his mouth and returned the salute, ?And what did you see, lieutenant??

?Nothing, General, It was all clear.?

?Are you sure you didn?t see anything?? Jedi took the stem and flicked it off into the dark grass. ?Nothing whatsoever that was even slightly out of the ordinary? Think. It?s very important.?

The lieutenant dipped his head in thought, ?No, just a few dead animals.?

?Such as??

?Well, there were a bison, and a few hedgehogs.?

Jedi nodded knowingly, ?And what?s wrong with that, do you think??

The lieutenant looked at a loss for words, ?I?m sorry, sir. I don?t know.?

Jedi leaned forward, ?Bison don?t live up here.?

The lieutenant frowned, ?I know what I saw. It was a bison carcass.?

Jedi nodded, ?I don?t doubt your honesty or your abilities. I have no doubt that you indeed saw a bison. The bison is one of the Tallic delicacies. They bring them with them by the herd.? Jedi returned his gaze to the dark horizon, ?It means that there were Tallics here at one point or another.?

The lieutenant shifted uncomfortably, ?Should I sound the alarm??

Jedi shook his head, ?No. They?ll be long gone from here by now. Go get some sleep.? The lieutenant snapped another salute and walked off casting a suspicious glance out at the dark plain.

Jedi waited until the young officer was gone before muttering a curse. He had lied to boy about how far they?d be. Tallics always buried the refuse of their meals and without fail. The fact that the soldier actually saw the carcass meant that he must have walked in on a Tallic dinner, the Tallics having seen him long before he knew and left to hide until he passed. That too was odd. The fact that they didn?t attack was disturbing. Jedi had known for a while that they were being tailed, but knowing for sure was still unsettling. Also notable was that the lieutenant had only seen one carcass. A full grown Tallic male could eat a whole bison by itself. This, though not a certainty, was at least some indication that very few Tallics were actually watching. There was the possibility, of course, that other had already finished their meal and buried the sketelons, if they had even had bison. There were so many factors, so many possibilities. It was tiring.

Jedi pulled out his staff and gave it an experimental twirl. It was a long time until morning and being away from away from Kitara turned his stomach with longing. He would get no sleep tonight. He chuckled at that thought. He couldn?t sleep when she was gone and he rarely slept when they were together, he should have fainted dead away a long time ago. Smiling, he took a deep breath and commenced his most vigorous training exercise.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2003, 04:22:02 am by Jedi »

lynx_lupo

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« Reply #25 on: November 14, 2003, 01:45:23 pm »
WOW! This is some serious writting! :))  :))  :))  :))  (why don\'t we have a worship smilie?!)

Keep up the excellent work!
"Amor sceleratus habendi"- Ovid
"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you eat them." -Godzilla

Moogie

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« Reply #26 on: November 14, 2003, 03:37:55 pm »
Jeez... this is such an interesting, well-written, well-planned, thought out, structured story... that I really don\'t want to write anymore. :P

Comparing mine to yours, Libra Fatalis is written by a 3 year old. I feel so inferior! :(


But that\'s a good thing. You have an absolutely awesome talent, and I\'m not BSing when I say that. You should seriously consider publishing a novel and making a few millions with writing skills like that. :)

Jedi

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« Reply #27 on: November 14, 2003, 06:19:35 pm »
Quote
Jeez... this is such an interesting, well-written, well-planned, thought out, structured story... that I really don\'t want to write anymore.


You know the funny thing? I think up plot twists as I go along and just keep them in the back of my mind as I write. It\'s not really planned at all. :P

Quote
Comparing mine to yours, Libra Fatalis is written by a 3 year old. I feel so inferior!  


:P Oh, get off it, Moog. ;) You know your story is at least twice as popular, not to mention good, as mine. :P Your writing style isn\'t \'inferior\' and neither are you. It\'s just different. :)

Quote
You should seriously consider publishing a novel and making a few millions with writing skills like that.


Lol, making millions is not really within the scope of any writer. :rolleyes: They don\'t make marvelously much unless they\'re popular.

I actually do have a novel in the works, but I started it when I was 11 and continued it till now so you can actually see the progression of vocabulary throughout it. It\'s a good story so I\'ll stick with it, but I\'m gonna have to rewrite the whole thing. That\'s gonna suck because it\'s 32 pages, single-spaced, size 10, Times New Roman, and only on chapter 5. I\'ll do it next summer and submit it as a manuscript. I\'ll be sure to post a teaser on here, though. :D ( And send the whole thing to you, V, since you seem to like my writing so much. ;) )

Chapter 5 of my story should be making its debut shortly. :)
« Last Edit: November 14, 2003, 06:21:55 pm by Jedi »

lynx_lupo

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« Reply #28 on: November 14, 2003, 06:27:04 pm »
Quote
Originally posted by Jedi

Quote
Comparing mine to yours, Libra Fatalis is written by a 3 year old. I feel so inferior!  


:P Oh, get off it, Moog. ;) You know your story is at least twice as popular, not to mention good, as mine. :P Your writing style isn\'t \'inferior\' and neither are you. It\'s just different. :)

Quote
You should seriously consider publishing a novel and making a few millions with writing skills like that.




1. Oh, get off it, Jedi. ;) Your story surely is better than Moogie\'s! (they are both great, don\'t get me wrong)

2. Man, you could really sell this! It\'s hot stuff.  :))
"Amor sceleratus habendi"- Ovid
"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you eat them." -Godzilla

Xandria

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« Reply #29 on: November 15, 2003, 08:28:38 am »
Lynx, what\'s the shortest book you\'ve ever seen sold?  100 pages maybe?  If Jedi wants to write that much, I\'m sure he\'d sell some copies, but it\'s probably a lot harder than you think it is, Lynx.

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