O.o

[tygerwilde]

hehe, while all suggestions have their merits. I haven\'t enjoyed being in the woods in a long time. It kinda lost it\'s flavor back when I was a boy scout. me and the wife spend quality time together all the time, hell, we lay together every night, talking till 2 or three in the morning. we can\'t take a computer because there would be no room for it, and it would cost extra to ship it there and back. Her brother will have the internet connection, but he\'s not the kind of guy to let people surf on his computer. I can\'t blame him for that though, because quite frankly, I don\'t like it when friends come over and use mine.  yes, I\'ll most likely spend a lot of time on GTA, or some other PS2 game.

[Princess Aelya]

Originally posted by tygerwilde
I should come back half sane...

I don\'t think you realise the truthfulness behind that. There are certain things that certain people enjoy so much, that it literally keeps them sane as their sources of enternainment. If that thing or things dissapear for a prolonged period of time, one could become so bored to the point where they undergo mental stress and could lead to insanity. I\'m not making that up or trying to be funny, I read that in one of them psychology books. Kinda scary...

[Xalthar]

Sounds reasonable enough, although I\'m not one to go out and test it.. We\'ll see if Tyger makes it

[tygerwilde]

see, you seem a little confused, I\'m already crazy, I\'m afraid of the return trip to sanity.

[Xalthar]

who says you\'re not sane already, and the place you\'re headed is insanity?

[tygerwilde]

hehe, don\'t you know I\'m certifiable??? have been since I was eight. all I\'d have to do is admit to the doctors that I\'ve had suicidal thoughts and I could recieve disability checks for depression. they\'ve talked about hospitalising me a couple of times.

[SaintNuclear]

You concidered suiciding when you were eight?!
No way...

[snow_RAveN]

holely cow ! you sucide 8 ? when your eight you dont even know the diff \'tween what makes a man a man and a woman a woman (unless your forced to watch discovery channel all day )

man we should make you a hounourabrly membar at cabal so we got a \"REAL\" mad man in cabal

[Xalthar]

Originally posted by tygerwilde
hehe, don\'t you know I\'m certifiable??? have been since I was eight. all I\'d have to do is admit to the doctors that I\'ve had suicidal thoughts and I could recieve disability checks for depression. they\'ve talked about hospitalising me a couple of times.

How the hell was I supposed to know that? Anyhow, I\'m sorry to hear that.. I\'ve had my share of suicidal thoughts, although they were loosely based on taking other people with me beyond life.. but let\'s not get into such matters..

What matters is, that you \"survive\" the trip, and hopefully return as the same guy you were before.. although I\'ve never been known to give the impression that change is bad for a guy..

[tygerwilde]

meh, it\'s a matter of genetics, my brother is depressed and suffers from agorophobia, my dad and grandad suffered from it, most of my male cousins and a few female cousins suffer from it. it\'s terrible, you feel bad and in most cases don\'t even know why you feel bad.

mine was also reinforced by abuse at school. I wasn\'t just one of those kids that was teased. I was taller than everyone in the grade ahead of mine, I was fat, I was smart, and I was learning disabled, so some of the things I said were a little stupid. I was the one EVERYBODY gave s**t to, I was maltreated by the kids that the bullies picked on. If I wasn\'t teased about being fat, somehow I was the stupid one. Kids would torment me for being stupid, then turn around and beat me for being the nerd.
at eight that led me to feeling depressed.
At nine, I found one person who liked me, and yes, as early as nine I started dating. she liked to hang out with me, and we had serious conversations. we were both mentally advanced children and could talk about things like electronics, biology, that kind of thing. when she moved to New York with her mother, I was crushed.

A little over ten years old, I had my first thought of suicide. The only thing that\'s kept me from commiting to it all these years is the thought of the one\'s who do care about me. I imagine what they would feel and it brings me back over the edge.

I don\'t tell my counselors because I\'m afraid they would commit me to a ward for my safety.

but that\'s in the past, I\'ve got a good life now, and I haven\'t had a suicidal thought in almost a year and a half. they used to come every few weeks. the depression is still strong, but I know in my mind that it\'s just a chemical imbalance in my brain that causes a misfiring in the emotional center. I feel sad constantly, but I try to feel happiness as well.

the point is though, if I were to put any less effort into staying balanced, I could literally be certified \"mentally imbalanced\" and be a nutcase.


BTW, sorry for the long, off topic post. I just feel the need to explain a bit, you guys are some of my closer freinds after all.

[Xalthar]

Kids are pure evil.. And worst part is, they do know what they\'re doing when they\'re treating others that way.. Some kids are better then that, but I\'m not going to sit here telling you I\'m sorry for their actions..

I know I\'m no one to tell you this, but people are fools.. All of them, all of you, all of us! (yes I\'m human too...)

Thanks for the explanation, tyger man, I\'m on your side till the end bro! (like it or not, my deranged favor is not easily brushed aside )

[Davis]

Nothing wrong with a long post, so long as it\'s interesting. Yes, yours was ineresting.

[karakth]

Well why don\'t you tell your councilors so that they can give you chemicals to rebalance you?

[TheTaintedSoul]

Originally posted by karakth
Well why don\'t you tell your councilors so that they can give you chemicals to rebalance you?

Indeed, why not? Of course you have to be carefull with chemicals effecting your brain but in your case it could be usefull.

Pretty impressive tyger, makes my problems look small in comparison. And that you trust this community enough to post says alot .
Also i understand why in your family violence = love

Oh and im pretty sure you can find fun things to do . Like living out the rpg fantasy irl there . Come to think of it, perhaps we should all go there and keep you company . Then we can play elves and stuff. Yes im pretty sure your wife wont ask you again then to come with her

[DepthBlade]

My second oldest sister is suicidal..Atleast once a week she feels the need to cut herself or bang her head up against the wall until she goes unconcious..My mom tried to get her help but she threatens to run away and never see my mom again and probally still kill herself. That freaks my mom out and now she won\'t do anything! Well soon I will commit her myself...she is running out of places to cut herself thats for sure...The only reason she does this is because she thinks she is fat when she weighs a whopping 140 pounds??