Author Topic: Moogie's Story  (Read 15790 times)

Jessyn

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« Reply #60 on: October 28, 2003, 07:50:09 pm »
*bump*

when do we get the next chapter?

Jessyn
Most things in life operate, not on reality, but the perception of reality.  

Moogie

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« Reply #61 on: October 28, 2003, 10:25:43 pm »
*triumphantly posts chapter 5*

Some notes: The style seems kinda \'off\' in this chapter... lots of action makes me lose a bit of structure in my writing. Hopefully though, on the whole, it is ok. Also note that there\'s something I couldn\'t spell hidden in there and I can\'t find it. So please point out any spelling errors you find to me so that I can correct them. :)


5.

The new day dawned over the countryside of Norgoth, yet the land below stayed stubbornly dark and forboding. As the sun rose effortlessly in the sky, it only served to illuminate the contrast between the bright blue of the heavens above and the shadowy, black hell below. This unearthly scene far below him chilled Seperot to the core, as he circled the black mass on his huge Magaras beast.

The animal, which resembled an extremely large bat with huge, paddle-shaped ears and a short, thick tail, had been with the Enkidukai for many a year now. The feline had called it Darkstorm after he found it orphaned in a forest near his home and decided to raise and train it for his clan. How ironic that name appeared at this very moment, for as Seperot looked towards the ground, the black, stormy mist seemed to rumble and groan with power as it slowly crept across the land, engulfing all that it touched underneath a tempestuous blanket of darkness.

The Enkidukai, who had visited Fort Freugel two days ago, had now come to carefully investigate the omnious threat which had appeared, without warning, in this land. He observed it with a deep sense of fascination and horror; he knew that hidden beneath this stormy cloud were legions of hideous creatures, mass-produced monsters of war eagerly spreading their bloody crusade across the land. He knew this from one of his closest kin, who had burst into Seperot\'s hut five nights ago, rambling of the dark army as he collapsed to the floor, blood seeping from a massive wound in his back. He had been stationed as a spy within the town of Rilheim, a settlement unfortunately caught in the path of the massacre. He had escaped, barely, and found his way to his Enkidukai clan base to warn his brothers and sisters. It was not long before Seperot took off to inform his greatest allies at Freugel\'s Hill and then see the monstrous force that had murdered such a good friend of his for his own eyes.

Thus, here he was, crimson eyes fixed contemptuously at the darkness below, at once compelled to take his revenge and yet aware of the situation enough to stop himself making a suicidal move. He wished there was something more that he could do, closer he could be to the enigmatic force seemingly resolved to destroy everything in its path, yet he knew that he could not risk it. If the storm that masked the monster army from his vision was indeed a rival God, he was lucky that his presence had not already been seen and snuffed in an instant. Infact, he suddenly realised what a vulnerable position he was in, and with a growing sense of anxiety decided to return to his home. He would order his clan to evacuate their village the moment he arrived- he would not see them suffer the same fate that had befallen his Rilheim informant.

Tugging at the reigns of his mount, Seperot turned Darkstorm to the direction of his village, but a bright flash of light and the sound of an explosion suddenly blinded him, and his beast almost halted with shock in mid-air. The air around them rumbled and vibrated angrily, and at that moment, Seperot knew they had been spotted. He kicked the beast to fly as fast as it could to escape the area, but all around them were rising pillars of thick, billowing smoke, twisting and spiking into the air as if they were projectiles fired with incredible force from below. Seperot\'s heart raced, the Megaras\' powerful wings beat hard as it\'s slim form sliced through the air, and all around them the black pillars began to pass them in height and come together above their heads, conjoining into one huge shadowy mass.

Suddenly, another explosive flash of light blinded the two, this time accompanied by a deep roar from above. Seperot darted his eyes up just in time to see it swoop down and knock him from his mount with a powerful, boney head. Seperot was caught totally offguard and yelped as he fell. He called out, and Darkstorm shrieked with effort as it propelled itself towards him at the very limit of it\'s abilities to catch his fallen master. The feline was only in free-fall for a few seconds before landing heavily on the back of his faithful Darkstorm once again, and he held on tightly now, patting the beast\'s neck thankfully.

Looking behind them, Seperot saw his assailant, a mighty green dragon with massive wings, maneuver itself expertly to give chase to the two after following him vertically down, keen on snapping up the Enkidukai\'s body as he plummeted towards the ground. Seperot\'s eyes widened with horror and he shouted encouragement at the Megaras. They had to get out of here! He reached for Darkstorm\'s reigns and assumed control of their flight path.

\"Looks like we\'ll have to change our tactics, Storm!\" He yelled. He angled them down sharply towards the ground, gaining speed. The dragon, hot in persuit, followed them, and began steadily catching up untill Seperot could hear the angry growls from the lizard\'s throat. He kept his course untill the last second, and just as the monster opened his gaping mouth to clap down on the back end of the Megaras, Seperot pulled them to the side and upward as hard as he could. Darkstorm channeled all of its energy into such a gravity-defying effort and only just managed to pull off the move, however the dragon was far heavier and found itself unable to change course. It slowly, agonisingly, straightened out as it hurtled towards the ground below, and managed to begin climbing in altitude again just before it crashed headlong into the grassy plain.

Darkstorm struggled to breathe hard enough to supply its overused wings with enough oxygen to keep them working. Seperot had gambled everything on his mount\'s ability to pull off such a taxing move, and although successful, it had been an extremely dangerous tactic to use. Now, his Megaras was struggling to keep aloft. Its energy had been completely drained- it needed to land soon, or they would find themselves meeting the ground in a very abrupt manner.

Unfortunately, this was no time to be slowing down and having a rest. The green dragon had pulled around again and found his agile prey, and was now once again in hot persuit. Seperot\'s mind raced. If they could not find sactury from this chase soon, Darkstorm would simply not be able to outrun it any longer and they\'d either end up as a feast for the dragon or splattered on the ground below. He had to think fast. Looking around at the terrain, he could see that they had travelled a few miles away from the perimeter of the stormy mass. There was a large forest nearby, potentially their greatest hope of escaping the vicious jaws of the hunter. He pulled at the reigns and they made a last-ditch effort to reach the forest before the lizard caught up with them. He could only hope they were able to make it in time.

seperot

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« Reply #62 on: October 28, 2003, 10:47:12 pm »
YAY im in it

tis the most action packed so far but i wonder why i dont just jump at te dragon  and gouge his eyes out :D

great work again moogie ^.^

Sifright

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« Reply #63 on: October 28, 2003, 11:49:12 pm »
When will i the great mage of the arcane order and a out lying hermit be in the story ive got to be in a story this cool :} Any how its very good and in all honesty its very hard to notice any change in the style because the story and what is writen draws you in so effectivly i have written a story before but i could never quite get my style right. where as your is great!
Any way enough of my ranting! Keep up the good work!!

PS ive got it you spelt sanctuary wrong!! do i get a cookie? :P
« Last Edit: October 28, 2003, 11:52:36 pm by Sifright »

Moogie

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« Reply #64 on: October 29, 2003, 01:56:04 am »
Well I\'ve pretty much decided on the main characters now, Sifright. However, a few others will get their names mentioned in passing, and many Guilds will also be mentioned. I\'m afraid that if I were to name and explain the background of every single person who has stopped by and asked to be in the story, it would be nothing *but* that... and doing so would be boring, unecessary and misleading.

Hehe, it\'s funny that I still only know a few things about this story. I know the ending and I know the main characters... that\'s about it. :P I\'m playing Fate, guiding these people to their ultimate destinies, yet how they get there remains to be seen even to myself.

Sifright

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« Reply #65 on: October 29, 2003, 02:09:08 am »
come now i could be a hermit living in the forest that young seperot is racing towards or indeed somthing simular ;) and where is my cookie!! i demand my cookie hehe :P

Auran

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« Reply #66 on: October 29, 2003, 03:17:44 am »
Nice fifth chapter Moogle:). Keep it up.:tup:

Auran. No More.
Forget you ever knew me kid.

kyosan

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« Reply #67 on: October 29, 2003, 04:39:01 am »
Hey!!! Happy again :P another part to read ^^ (and another part i dont play a role in... he me wanna be there moogie :P u said i will :P Me wanna! ^^)
I\'m alone...
No one cares about me....
I\'m only a tool for other people\'s needs...
I\'m nothing....
But a slave to all....

Jessyn

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« Reply #68 on: October 29, 2003, 09:02:14 pm »
i think I am the only one who doesn\'t want to be in your story :)  Don\'t get me wrong, your story rules all, but I haven\'t defined Jessyn enough for her to be story material yet...

Jessyn
Most things in life operate, not on reality, but the perception of reality.  

zaphar

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« Reply #69 on: October 29, 2003, 11:49:48 pm »
Actually jessyn your not the only one. My character\'s history doesn\'t come into play until after this particular story I think.

Although after reading the story again I guess I could place my history before this one.  I thought at first when she started writing it that it was a story about her origins in PS.

:-)

Moogie: I\'m jealous your story gets more attention than mine :-) lol
*Zaphar grins roguishly as he exits the post


Moogie

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« Reply #70 on: October 30, 2003, 04:26:25 pm »
I wish I could explain \'when\' the story is set, but to do that would be a bit of a spoiler untill I\'ve actually finished it. Suffice is to say that it is very complicated, and I\'m not even sure if I\'ve worked it out fully yet.

Oh, by the way, the story is now up here. Yes of course it sucks, I made it! :(


*wonders if anyone would be nice enough to make her a decent website...*

Auran

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« Reply #71 on: October 30, 2003, 05:33:15 pm »
Why ofcourse moog! I would if you think I can do a good job with it and I get the time:).

PS-
No guarantees of sticking to the \"cute kitty\" theme however:P.

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Forget you ever knew me kid.

dorbian

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« Reply #72 on: October 30, 2003, 07:17:37 pm »
offcourse i want to help you with a site, when i\'m done with the mtma site that is

Moogie

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« Reply #73 on: October 30, 2003, 07:52:10 pm »
Wow, I\'d be very grateful for that, guys! Thank you! :)

It doesn\'t have to be something awesome, so please don\'t spend too much of your time on it. It just needs to look neat, presentable, and easy to navigate/read the chapters. Preferably something viewable with any browser too.

Thanks again! :D

Sifright

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« Reply #74 on: October 30, 2003, 08:37:40 pm »
i could do that in a bout a minute but there will be advert pop ups
tell me the name you want for the site and i will make it in about 5 mins :p and yes it will be neat and presentable